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Billy and Davis (BD) apologise
Billy and Davis (BD) apologise
Billy and Davis (BD) apologise
Melboure: It would seem that with Umpires Billy Bowden and Davis ( known to friends as the fat controller) in charge of last nights game between Pakistan and Australia, no decisions would go in the visiting teams favour. Appeal after appeal was turned down as Pakistani players fought dejection and disappointment at every stage of the game. The match ended in a heart breaking loss for Pakistan but seems like the pressure of those decisions has clearly taken a toll on Billy and Davis.

It can now be revealed that at approximately 0200 hours, your correspondent was woken up by a personal call by Billy and Davis.

Bowden, clearly upset with his performance was very apologetic to the Pakistani fans , he said "I have been a bad bad boy - I have made decisions that have clearly harmed Pakistani cricketers". When asked about the exact nature of the decisions, Davis's crying voice could be heard in the background "Tell 'em Billy, tell 'em - come clean - Jesus Christ loves us all - go ahead and tell 'em...."

Billy continued "Oh TheSourceNews's finest scribe, I commited a sin that will haunt me for the rest of my life - I ordered the drinks break 2.3 secs earlier than on schedule ! - I knew that was wrong and it played in the hands of the Australian players but I did it since I hate the Pakistani team - and yeah, all other decisions were the benefit of the doubts since I have a lot of doubts about my own umpiring skills - I hate myself, I hate myself, I hate......".

When Davis was asked about the smiling incident where he smiled as Rao was hit on his wrists, he said that was due to something he remembered from a long time back, involving his boarding school showers and a bar of soap[beep, beep censored]. The line broke off shortly afterwards.

All subsequent efforts to locate Billy and Davis have failed - Police will not divulge their location except that they are now recovering as part of a substance abuse rehabilitation program at a local hospital.

In Pakistan, the reaction to these revelations is that of shock - people are too shocked to burn any effigies but as a token of appreciation of the glorius game of cricket and as vengeance , some enterprising youngsters did burn the X5 Mini between Saddar and Dhoraji colony.

The great Pakistani born and bred cricketer, Sarfraz Nawaaz, was contacted and immediatley laid the blame on Bob Woolmer, PAKISTANS FORIEGN Coach, saying that it was his team selection that caused Billy and Davis to take these decisions.

When contacted, PCB chairman Shariyar Khan also promised to have a "hard talk" with Shoaib Akhtar and to let him know that discipline was very important. When this correpsondent pointed out that there seemed to be no obvious connection between these 2 events, Shariyar responded with an anouncement to sack Haroon Rashid for the Indian tour [ Note he has already been sacked once in the past for the same tour ].
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