Creative writing

[Radiance Of Australis]

True, true. But then again, this means I only like Aamer/Butt because they're in form! :))) Heck, I've even started liking Shoaib Akhtar all of a sudden! :)) Wow my preferences are so prone to change, I never realised it! :D

Awww.. I can't WAIT to read anything from you yaar! You're really a very, very good writer! I'm sorry I totally forgot about your earlier post - and you are my baji, I am younger than you..... :heart: SSS, I posted in my earlier posts in this thread, just take a break from writing and let your imagine rumble on for a few days. Confidence is the key, trust me, it helped me start writing again - and we're all here to help you out. From what you have shared, you come across as a very deep writer - someone who can extract out the pure emotions, the gist of the moment and turn them into words so easily.. We're all here to boost you up, InshAllah, I'm sure your next piece would be a fine work of art in itself *hugs*

Hey its no problem :)
Thanks for your advice! I'll try my best to use it *hugs*

Yeah, you summed me up quite well. I'm the "emotional" type.
And sure, I will definitely post my poetry and fiction whatever I write.

I wrote a poem few days ago, but I lost it since it was written on paper =[ It was really deep set and rather depressing; I tend to write down what I feel.
And it was purely raw, not a single edit so they were entirely my emotions.Aww I wish I could have showed them to you.Careless me. :facepalm:I'll look for it or write another one when I'm down and low. lol

Anyways..a teensy weensy fact-->I cant write comedy material to save my life :)) Tried a bit, but I'm not really into writing comedy. Prefer reading comedy, so it doesnt really matter.

And I know what you mean about the player thing.
I have the same experience too lol.I dont have any favourites that last long.Apart from Amir..record breaking of one year of true die hard fandom :))
and still going strong.

I also liked Misbah as a batsman in 2007-2008 :))) ..The "in form" Misbah. That wasnt fandom, that was appreciation of his good form lol.

I have noticed you showing strong support for Amir and Salman Butt, and Amir is someone that may very well be your long term favourite. He captured the hearts of millions =[
And when was Amir NOT in form?:D ..MashaAllah,though.

[blinding light]

Hey its no problem :)
Thanks for your advice! I'll try my best to use it *hugs*

Yeah, you summed me up quite well. I'm the "emotional" type.
And sure, I will definitely post my poetry and fiction whatever I write.

I wrote a poem few days ago, but I lost it since it was written on paper =[ It was really deep set and rather depressing; I tend to write down what I feel.
And it was purely raw, not a single edit so they were entirely my emotions.Aww I wish I could have showed them to you.Careless me. :facepalm:I'll look for it or write another one when I'm down and low. lol

Anyways..a teensy weensy fact-->I cant write comedy material to save my life :)) Tried a bit, but I'm not really into writing comedy. Prefer reading comedy, so it doesnt really matter.

And I know what you mean about the player thing.
I have the same experience too lol.I dont have any favourites that last long.Apart from Amir..record breaking of one year of true die hard fandom :))
and still going strong.

I also liked Misbah as a batsman in 2007-2008 :))) ..The "in form" Misbah. That wasnt fandom, that was appreciation of his good form lol.

I have noticed you showing strong support for Amir and Salman Butt, and Amir is someone that may very well be your long term favourite. He captured the hearts of millions =[
And when was Amir NOT in form?:D ..MashaAllah,though.

Awww would be really nice if you found that poem! :( But anywho, still awaiting an update from you. =)

I've actually liked Misbah and Salman Butt since they came onto the scene. Even when not in form, I'd just have respect for them, that they're decent and PRESENTABLE guys. Hence hoping :butt is proven innocent in all this.

Aamer to bacha hay yaar. Would want him to come out clean as a chit. A very, very talented boy. Just don't want to see him wasted like that..

I'm also liking Saeed Ajmal! :))) LOL I'm going crazy now :D

[Maula Jutt]

Thanks, Krishnan. Something from you too now perhaps...? :D

That was great, Noor! Gives us a view of what a substantial number of female cricket fans are really observing when watching a match :)))

About the long sentences, I suffer from this 'word fat' syndrome sometimes too. Try breaking a relatively longer sentence into two and see if it looks better that way. Then try deleting the less relevant of the two and voila, the word fat is gone.

[blinding light]

Thanks, Krishnan. Something from you too now perhaps...? :D

That was great, Noor! Gives us a view of what a substantial number of female cricket fans are really observing when watching a match :)))

About the long sentences, I suffer from this 'word fat' syndrome sometimes too. Try breaking a relatively longer sentence into two and see if it looks better that way. Then try deleting the less relevant of the two and voila, the word fat is gone.

Thank you Sahil bhai! :)

After reading about your word-fat syndrome, I re-read everything again and now I really get what you mean. I'll try and edit this again tonight - tweak this up a bit. Too much information in some sentences, where just a brush was necessary.. Thanks for the help! It shows I need a lot more practice! :)

[Poison]

Not a very creative person tbh, rather enjoy the security of facts and figures.

But good thread, talented bacchas we have :amin

[Poison]

I have been forming an unreal idea for a fantasy/scifi novel that will one day make me a multi-millionaire.

Just need to sit down and write the damn thing.

Does it involve Imam Sharjeel saving the world? :aali

[Radiance Of Australis]

Thanks, Krishnan. Something from you too now perhaps...? :D

That was great, Noor! Gives us a view of what a substantial number of female cricket fans are really observing when watching a match :)))

Yeah I guess, but I dont know any girl personally who *just* watch it for the guys.

I do think Eoin Morgan is good looking but I dont ogle over him everytime he comes on the screen. I dont obsess over him either..Neither do I sit and google his pics or stalk him on Twitter.

Some girls who are huge fans of the game do have crushes on some players.But its natural,yaar.

But watching *just* for players and then claiming you are a "fan" is just soo :po:

Anyways,lets not derail this.
Not a very creative person tbh, rather enjoy the security of facts and figures.

But good thread, talented bacchas we have :amin
Classy Future Right Handed Writers :))

Awww would be really nice if you found that poem! But anywho, still awaiting an update from you. =)

I've actually liked Misbah and Salman Butt since they came onto the scene. Even when not in form, I'd just have respect for them, that they're decent and PRESENTABLE guys. Hence hoping is proven innocent in all this.

Aamer to bacha hay yaar. Would want him to come out clean as a chit. A very, very talented boy. Just don't want to see him wasted like that..

I'm also liking Saeed Ajmal! LOL I'm going crazy now

Ahan then,..write about them. Salman Butt,preferably. :)

Oh yes, Ajmal! He is a top lad! :D

[ShehryarK]

AZ can write? In what language?



Haww haai!

You're just jaalous!

[sanakazmi]

Haww haai!

You're just jaalous!

I thought you hated the PPP? There is no pleasing you, SheheryarK.

[blinding light]

ANybody got anything else? :D

[Krishnan]

Thanks, Krishnan. Something from you too now perhaps...? :D

That was great, Noor! Gives us a view of what a substantial number of female cricket fans are really observing when watching a match :)))

About the long sentences, I suffer from this 'word fat' syndrome sometimes too. Try breaking a relatively longer sentence into two and see if it looks better that way. Then try deleting the less relevant of the two and voila, the word fat is gone.

Sure,sure.not something,a post where every inch of my intelligence and creativity will be displayed.But this thread is going in a pretty decent flow and a lot of genuine creativity is in operation,so its better you all continue posting for some more time while i just read. shouldn't break it with an incredible post which after everyone seeing,the thread may be closed permanently lol.

[AZ]

Salman wala achhi tarhan likhna, warna...darna mana hai :kapil

[Krishnan]

Salman wala achhi tarhan likhna, warna...darna mana hai :kapil

darna mana hai-ok(name of film lol),achi tarhan likhna-ok,salman wala-not understood(i thought salman khan, but he has bare body not bare head).i dint understand the enitre comment as a whole(but i think it was said to me lol)l.sorry man,i know only some hindi to read and speak-from southern india.

Or i am totally senseless,this comment was directed at someone else.

[Maula Jutt]

darna mana hai-ok(name of film lol),achi tarhan likhna-ok,salman wala-not understood(i thought salman khan, but he has bare body not bare head).i dint understand the enitre comment as a whole(but i think it was said to me lol)l.sorry man,i know only some hindi to read and speak-from southern india.

Or i am totally senseless,this comment was directed at someone else.



That.

[AZ]

darna mana hai-ok(name of film lol),achi tarhan likhna-ok,salman wala-not understood(i thought salman khan, but he has bare body not bare head).i dint understand the enitre comment as a whole(but i think it was said to me lol)l.sorry man,i know only some hindi to read and speak-from southern india.

Or i am totally senseless,this comment was directed at someone else.

lol no worries Krishnan bhaiyya

am expecting a moving, inspirational piece on Rajnikanth from you :sachin

I have heard that in Endhiran he has claimed that 'if I hit you, even Google cannot find you!'

LOL!

[Krishnan]

That.

Gud.As usual.Let the thread go on.

[Krishnan]

lol no worries Krishnan bhaiyya

am expecting a moving, inspirational piece on Rajnikanth from you :sachin

I have heard that in Endhiran he has claimed that 'if I hit you, even Google cannot find you!'

LOL!

Lol gud reach of rajini,but northies made him into chuck norris with these self created dialogues.No Inspiration piece,demolition piece coming soon,true rajinikanth style.

[blinding light]

darna mana hai-ok(name of film lol),achi tarhan likhna-ok,salman wala-not understood(i thought salman khan, but he has bare body not bare head).i dint understand the enitre comment as a whole(but i think it was said to me lol)l.sorry man,i know only some hindi to read and speak-from southern india.

Or i am totally senseless,this comment was directed at someone else.

LMAO! :D

AZ wants me to write a brilliant piece on his janasheen, Salman (Butt)... And "darna mana hay" - it was a threat to me lol :D

[Krishnan]

LMAO! :D

AZ wants me to write a brilliant piece on his janasheen, Salman (Butt)... And "darna mana hay" - it was a threat to me lol :D

Ya ya.epic fail as usual.let the thread move on lol.

[Maula Jutt]

Okay, I am looking through my laptop for material and I came across this one entry I made a few years back. It's just a conversation that happened mainly between this really hilarious bus driver and an irate passenger. I just found it so funny at the time that I wrote it down right there in the bus. :))

I was in San Jose at the time and had to get someplace urgently. Finding no car at my disposal, I had to settle for the local VTA bus.

It was raining when I left my apartment. I ran to the nearest bus stop which had a sign, "Move to next Bus Stop" with an arrow. There was a bike race taking place in downtown and they'd closed off some of the roads. The next bus stop was a block away.

When I reached the next bus stop, I was joined by a VTA bus driver in a crisp uniform. He appeared to be in a jolly mood and was reading the newspaper. Looking at his uniform, people approached him asking about their buses which were late. The driver said he was scheduled to drive #23 (my bus) from here on and was waiting for it to arrive just like the rest of us.

After about 10 minutes, a fat old lady standing about 10 feet from us started yelling and cursing in frustration. Apparently she had been directed to this bus stop as well, and she was getting late too.

At first, everyone ignored her. Then the VTA driver called her over and they had the following dialog:


Driver: What seems to be the problem?

Old lady: Well, I have been told by that VTA guy over there that #63 is coming to this stop. I have been waiting for a long time. Where is it?!

Driver: If you're in a hurry, why don't you take the light rail from here and get off two stations down and get #63 from there?

Old lady: You really think I should be doing that?!

Driver: That's what I'd do. It's better than standing there and yelling at the rain like a moron.

Old lady: Well I have been told that #63 will come here! Where is it?!

Driver: Where are you going to?

Old lady: San Carlos and Rice.

Driver: Why don't you get the #23 from here and get off at San Carlos and Rice. It also goes there.

Old lady: Because I'm not going exactly to San Carlos and Rice.

Driver: Then why would you tell me you are?

Old lady: I am asking you where the hell is #63!

Driver: Why don't you go back and start yelling at the rain?


She turned around and started walking back. A few feet down, she turned back.

Old lady: Jackass!


With that, she started walking away. Another young lady came to the driver and asked if #81 was also coming there. The driver turned to her with a smile.

Driver: Maybe. Who told you?

Young lady: The VTA helpline. I called them.

Driver: Oh, they told you?

Young lady: Yeah.

Driver: And you believed them?

Young lady: Yeah.

Driver: Oh well, you shouldn't have..


By this time, the crazy lady came back yelling.

Old lady: Where is the damn bus?!

The driver turned back to her with a smirk. She continued:

Old lady: I have an appointment! You hear? i have an appointment at 2!

Driver: With a psychiatrist?

Old lady: No!

Driver: A shame..

Old lady: Well this is the last time they are having a bike race in this city! I got the car race stopped and now this is the last time they are having a bike race!

Driver: Oh it was you, huh?

Old lady: Yes.

Driver: You know what else you should get them to stop?

Old lady: What?

Driver: People yelling downtown and scaring other people.

Old lady: I am so mad right now! What am I supposed to do until that bus shows up!

Driver: Sing.

Old lady: Sing?! What the hell is wrong with your head?!

Driver: Okay listen. I am driving #23 from here. Why don't you just get on that one and I'll drop you off at the #63 stop. You can either do that, or stand here all day and b***h about it.

Old lady: Why won't VTA put up signs if they are diverting buses?!

Driver: Take #23.

Old lady: I DON'T WANT 23!!


At this time, we saw #23 coming towards us. The crazy lady continued:

Old lady: If I don't see #63 soon, I'm going to start a fight here!


The #23 stopped in front of us and we quickly got on. After everyone was seated, the driver called out through the open door to the lady:

Driver: Do you want to get on or not?

Old lady: Should I trust you?

Driver: Well, I wouldn't. I am not a very trustworthy person.

Old lady: F*** you!


The driver shut the door and we drove on. :))) :))) :)))

[ShehryarK]

I thought you hated the PPP? There is no pleasing you, SheheryarK.

:))

Ahmed Zulfiqar. Not :zardari ! :facepalm:

The poor lad might share his initials, but as a true-blue Lahori, its nothing but Khan sahab and Mian sahab for him.

[Maula Jutt]

Okay. I just wrote something on Malik.. and cricket. Its actually a true story, part of what actually happened. X really is a close friend of mine who loved Shoaib Malik so dearly, we were convinced she'll marry him when she grows up. Stupid Sania seduced Malku and broke X's heart - I shall be writing something on her heartbreak too - there's too much MASALA in it! :D And the O level bit is true, I had forgotten a "ratto-fied" compulsory 10-mark qs in that exam, which - Oh only my Allah knows, how I was able to solve it ang still ace it!

I've decided to do similar short pieces on a few cricketers, and its been a long time since I tried out blunt sarcasm, so please bear with me.. Here goes...... Just don't kill me if it doesn't make you laugh.. :runaway:



:D


And bibi jee where is your second installment of this fascinating series you promised us and seem to have done a U-turn on it now? :ibutt

[blinding light]

Bhai jaan, your above piece - I just had the honour of reading it now - was positively hilarious! :))) Please donate some of your sense of humour to me as well! But it would be a tad clearer if you just labelled in the quotes - Old lady: this that, this that. Bus driver: blah blah blah ..... :)

And bibi jee where is your second installment of this fascinating series you promised us and seem to have done a U-turn on it now? :ibutt


Nothing fascinating about it bhai - just a lame attempt at being funny lol.... :hafeez

I was stuck with Sociology hw today :( Will be whipping up something and posting it by tomorrow Inshallah :) I just gave up on Salman butt, wanted his piece to be very, very perfect and well - Socio didn't help me today. I might be posting about Misbah or Umar Akmal perhaps...

Or maybe the epilogue to Part I - X's heartbreak :))) Poor, poor girl! :D

[Maula Jutt]

Bhai jaan, your above piece - I just had the honour of reading it now - was positively hilarious! :))) Please donate some of your sense of humour to me as well! But it would be a tad clearer if you just labelled in the quotes - Old lady: this that, this that. Bus driver: blah blah blah ..... :)

Done. Though I cannot take ANY credit for this because I didn't create it. I just wrote it down word for word as I heard it, and remembered later. The whole credit goes to that crazy lady and more so, that driver with a really screwed up sense of humor which I loved! :))




Nothing fascinating about it bhai - just a lame attempt at being funny lol.... :hafeez

I was stuck with Sociology hw today :( Will be whipping up something and posting it by tomorrow Inshallah :) I just gave up on Salman butt, wanted his piece to be very, very perfect and well - Socio didn't help me today. I might be posting about Misbah or Umar Akmal perhaps...

Or maybe the epilogue to Part I - X's heartbreak :))) Poor, poor girl! :D

Well we are anxiously waiting for it. It can be on whichever player you feel like writing on, though I think both Misbah and Umar Akmal would make for interesting reading. :))

You can also of course make us laugh some more at the expense of your friend, X. :ibutt

[sanakazmi]

:))

Ahmed Zulfiqar. Not :zardari ! :facepalm:

The poor lad might share his initials, but as a true-blue Lahori, its nothing but Khan sahab and Mian sahab for him.

Oooops. Sorry Ahmed Zulfiqar. All this time I thought whenever people on this forum mentioned AZ they were talking about Zardari, not you. Apologies for any unintentional misunderstanding or hostility this may have caused. :yk

[AZ]

mey bhi kahuun mujhe muft mey gaaliyan kyun par rahi hain...

[ShehryarK]

Nahi, those were aimed at you, I think...........


:runaway:

[blinding light]

Writing on Misbah and chotay Akmal lol :D X's heartbreak is too hilarious, I'll write it in great detail later on.. :D Starting from the "affairs" with some Bhagat-named actress and whatnot - whattay drama seriously! Made me wish I had such a crush on a cricketer to make my dull life more theatrical! :D

There really isn't anything else anyone wants to share? SSS? Moiz "wordsworth" bhai? :(

[1137moiz]

Haha salams mateys. For some reason PP isn't working on my home computer so I just signed in at university. I'll try and find summat

[1137moiz]

btw anybody know why PP only works in some areas?

[AZ]

Writing on Misbah and chotay Akmal lol :D X's heartbreak is too hilarious, I'll write it in great detail later on.. :D Starting from the "affairs" with some Bhagat-named actress and whatnot - whattay drama seriously! Made me wish I had such a crush on a cricketer to make my dull life more theatrical! :D

There really isn't anything else anyone wants to share? SSS? Moiz "wordsworth" bhai? :(

Sayali Bhagat.

[Noork85]

massive trouble here! my peofessor is real **** abt grammer and punctuation, can someone read my journal for me and tell me what needs to be fixed? its on buddhism. Please! i dont wanna pay $65 to an editing and proofreading service, cuz i still got another one to write and thatll set me $130 back. not good. so any takers? please?!?!?! of so, let me know on this thread and PM me through a mod.

[AZ]

post it.

and I will only charge $50 for proofreading.

unless it is very long, then I won't read it.

[ShehryarK]

Please don't give out personal contact information on public threads, thank you.

[blinding light]

Hey Noor! My name's Noor too! :D :D :D

Post away my friend :)

[Noork85]

i dont want to post it here, when he puts it in to chk for plagerism wont it come up? lol

[AZ]

you didn't seem too concerned about that when you called him a ****

[Maula Jutt]

i dont want to post it here, when he puts it in to chk for plagerism wont it come up? lol

Delete it here before you finally turn it in.

[Noork85]

you didn't seem too concerned about that when you called him a ****



i didnt call him an as$, i said hes an@l abt grammar and punctuation. so much that i failed the first one with a 0 in grammar, hes letting me rewrite it. my grammar is not bad and neither are my punctuations. but hes really shattered my confidence.

its a journal so....i duno, would be more comfortable if it wasnt posted here. and its 5 pages lol.

[blinding light]

I used to proof-read stories before for free lol - you can PM me Noor :)

[Indiafan]

Very good thread, I will post a couple of my articles



So you thought auctioning began with the IPL? The biggest and most important of them was kept from the media. Months before the IPL, there was :-


The Great Auction

The BCCI President stood on the dais and beamed heartily at everyone. He had a reason to be smiling. This was going to be an event like no other. If all went well, he could convert his entire black money to white. The stage was set. All the selectors were present. All the regular players were present. The bhelpuriwala was present. And for some strange reason, even Kapil Dev was present. He cleared his throat majestically and spoke:-

"Friends, today we stand here together. Outside we might be enemies but inside lets present an united front. After all, the media is not here for one of our "stunts" to distract attention from poor performances. As you all are well aware, BCCI is a non-profit making organisation built solely for the betterment of Indian cricket. So along the same lines, we have decided to privatise and diversify some of our functions"

The hall breaks up in spontaneous applause, mostly because those dozing had caught the word 'profit' and missed the 'non'.

He beamed at the audience and put his hands up like a saint blessing a pregnant woman.

“Before we begin, we would be rewarding some of our stalwart players who have contributed heavily to the teams win over a period of time. These are the real gems of India, the ones who have always been for us, the ones who have contributed heavily to our success."

Everyone looks at the senior trio. Ganguly smiles at everyone. Dravid looks defensive. Sachin has the been there, done that look.

"So the winner of the life time achievement award goes to", he pauses. Sachin gets up with a bored look while those next to him pat him on the back

"Yuvraj Singh for his six sixes in the 20/20 World cup." There is silence for a while and then scattered applause. Sachin freezes in a half-crouching position. Yuvraj strides to the podium, pausing only to wink at the cleaning lady who was peeking from behind the curtain.

“Seeing the performances of UV in tests in Australia”, continued the President, “I think you will all agree that UV has reached his peak in the 20/20 WC and its not fair to expect more from him. Since he has already achieved his life time potential, we honor him with this award”. He waited for the applause to die now.

“Now a special mention. Dhoni is currently the top favorite of sponsors. Sachin, kya ho gaya bhai?. Pahli baar peeche ho gaye? Dravid, Ganguly, sharam nahi aati kal ke bacche se peeche ho tum. Buck up if you still want your place in the team. But don’t ask for ODI spot before you can get more sponsors. Ok, let the auctioning begin.


Below is the transcript of the auction item and winners



Position 1 :- “We have only one slot for this. A player who can be abusive and gets under other player’s skin. Occasional hidden racism and over the top gestures can be used. Let me outline the benefits which the winner of this category will have :-


1) Will always remain in the media, either as a villain or as a hero. You will have the nation either praising you as God’s own gift or burning your effigies. Publicity equals more sponsors
2) A personal guarantee that he will be carried in the team despite average/below average performances. No selector will drop him and since he will be in news all the time, media and fans will love him
3) We guarantee the best lawyers money can buy and enough influence to prevent the player getting any serious punishments from ICC. However, we encourage warnings and match fee cuts as this will only strengthen the bad boy image. Any match fee thus lost will be repaid thrice by BCCI

Note :- Any physical violence such as slapping fellow/opposition players will null clause 3.

Winner – Harbhajan Singh for US 2.5 million dollar



Position 2 :- One slot. A clown who keeps players entertained by his antics more than performances. Over the top celebrations, making monkey faces, dancing, you name it, he can do it. Benefits of the position

1) Media attention. Kids love a clown.
2) A chance to be labeled an “aggressive” player even though the performance may not reflect it

Note :- Bowlers preferred. South Indians will be given preferences

Winner : Sreesanth, USD 3 million


Position 3:- All-rounder . One slot. A player who stands out neither in batting or bowling but is guaranteed a place in the team. Benefits:-


1) If batting does not stand up to the mark, we stress on the bowling aspect and vice versa
2) Will be carried in the team for the ‘balance’
3) Can be compared to great players like Wasim or Kapil Dev

Winner : Pathan - USD 2 million


Position 4 : Senior players. 3 Slots. “Experienced” guys who can be in the team for reasons other than cricket such as :- providing guidance, counseling, “presence” to the team. Benefits are

1) Guaranteed place in the team despite average performances
2) First preference in choosing hotel rooms, seats on team buses and net practice
3) Involvement in media debates about junior senior debates which takes attention off performances

Note :- Conditions can/will be changed, contract may be terminated with changes in captain/coach

Winners :- Dravid, Ganguly, USD 10 million each
Tests only :- Laxman, USD 5 million


Invalid bid : Yuvraj Singh for being too new to be considered a senior despite bidding the highest (USD 100 million)


Position 5: Captaincy. This time in the interest of Indian cricket we have split it in two so that we could have two winners! One for test and one for ODIs. Have to take both blame and praise. Either way, you are always in the media. Benefits are:-


1) 10 extra minutes in the spotlight while tossing the coin
2) Only person from the team who can give media interviews. We will ensure this by putting a gag on other players
3) Ability to change the coach at any time you want

Winner :- Tests – Kumble USD 5 million
ODIs :- Dhoni USD 10 million



Ok, now for one of our most important profit making ventures. As you are all aware, we are planning for an Indian league. What you will not be aware though is that Mr. Modi here has come up with a brilliant plan which will ensure that we have no competition from people stealing our ideas and at the same time will increase our profit. For that reason we will plan a rebel league of our own. The league will be called Indian Cricket League. Consider the benifts of such a league :-


1) The league will be a secret money making organization. We will rake in moolah without paying taxes
2) We are going to ban and villanize the league. Though the league will still make money, no one else will dare make a rebel league
3) Lots of media attention of the war between the two leagues
4) Players who might be a threat for India can be bought for huge sums in this league and then we will make sure their respective boards ban them.

Winner – Kapil Dev USD 10 million

Note: Kapil has been instructed to give an interview at least once a week deriding BCCI and its decision to ban ICL players. Should always state that the league is to help upcoming players and they should be unbanned. He has also promised to wear the same old suit and have a sorry face without breaking into actual tears, so that it shows how much BCCI has been persecuting him and ICL. Also he has to avoid all official contacts with BCCI officials and should be well disguised in all IPL parties. In return apart from his ICL salary, he will be provided a cut of the IPL pie too.

[Maula Jutt]

Very nice, Indiafan. :14:

When did you write it?

This part was hilarious: As you all are well aware, BCCI is a non-profit making organisation built solely for the betterment of Indian cricket. So along the same lines, we have decided to privatise and diversify some of our functions"

The hall breaks up in spontaneous applause, mostly because those dozing had caught the word 'profit' and missed the 'non'.

:)))

[AZ]

hahaha, that Note: on Kapil paaji is spot on.

[Indiafan]

Very nice, Indiafan. :14:

When did you write it?

This part was hilarious: As you all are well aware, BCCI is a non-profit making organisation built solely for the betterment of Indian cricket. So along the same lines, we have decided to privatise and diversify some of our functions"

The hall breaks up in spontaneous applause, mostly because those dozing had caught the word 'profit' and missed the 'non'.

:)))

Quite a while ago when Kumble was the test captain

[1137moiz]

A good write Indiafan, very funny

[sanakazmi]

MJ! Edit that story for the alternative almanack already, yaar.

[Maula Jutt]

MJ! Edit that story for the alternative almanack already, yaar.

What? :20:

Didn't I email it to you a long time back? What do you mean edit??

[sanakazmi]

What? :20:

Didn't I email it to you a long time back? What do you mean edit??

You didn't get Nishant's email?

[Maula Jutt]

You didn't get Nishant's email?

The groupie says thanks. :amir

[Maula Jutt]

And where is Noor's second installment of the fandom saga? :13:

[blinding light]

HERE IT IS! :D

Please don't kill me - I will continue X's heartbreak as soon as my exams end. And furthermore, I've the perfect angle on Salman Butt and Aamer! Its crazy how adolescent hormones can make you subject to such entertaining displays :D

Anyway, here's what I wrote on Umar Akmal - enjoy :)

Part II – ‘Masters’ of Slogging.

The pressure was on. My appetite had deserted me. Sleepless nights followed stress-packed days. I began to look like one of those gruesome zombies in Michael Jackson’s “Thriller”. Cricket-fever was long forgotten as daunting O level finals loomed the calendar. The thought of those days still send chills of trepidation down my spine. A time best forgotten, but remembered for all the ‘Miked’ up reasons, if you will. (That innings by Hussey in the semi-final stills sends shivers down my spine).

2010 T20 World Cup was on in the Caribbean – and I am certain the Pakistani cricket team was as apprehensive about it as I was about my finals. Their previous world cup stint at the Caribbean ended with an unimaginable minnow defeat, and the sudden death of a great coach. Under Lala Afridi’s captaincy, the men in green were out to defend their title as champions – and the need for every Pakistani to include a regular dose of World T20 in their lives soon replaced the barest of bare necessities.

The World T20 was a revival of interest in the sport from a fan-base too crushed by the decadent scenario of the country. The promise of rebirth of champions – Pakistan cricket a phoenix rising from the ashes. Leaving behind a past littered with controversy to meet great future ahead (OH the IRONY!).

Amongst the funny flaming birds was a certain “batera” who really seemed to catch ones eye. Literally. Short, strong stature, annoying voice, heaps of talent and an eerily uncanny resemblance to his infamous brother seem to sum up the countenance of Mr Umar Akmal. Or maybe simply green-lipstick would do.

Move over Afridi’s hairstyle, and Aamer’s magical opening spells and Gul’s awe-inspiring death bowling – here comes marching in another of Pakistan’s slogging talents. Bat in hand, tricks up his sleeve, lips smeared with parrot blood (or so it seemed) – this bats-baccha (a term used loosely) could single-handedly put Pakistan in a winning position, leaving the tail-enders to make or break their chances in the match. Holding the middle-order position, Umar Akmal not only adds stability to the brittle batting line-up, but his explosive batting also provides quick-fire runs and dents the fielding sides confidence. His batting drips with the persona he carried – bold, daring and undeterred.

Although not everything about this young gentleman (another term used loosely) is as effacious, albeit eccentric, as it seems. Months into his debut and his name is embroiled in a “fake-injury” controversy; a farce he put up allegedly as a protest against his brother’s exclusion after the disastrous Sydney test. Many deem even his off-field activities as questionable. After Kamran’s name being taken by Mad Maxy – many suspected Umar to be the mysterious “7th” player the tabloid News of the World spoke of. However Kamran was cleared by the Scotland Yard and the ICC (who seem to have conveniently forgotten about his clearance) and now Umar plans to sue Majeed - he claims to not know the fixer-extraordinaire when he was Kami's agent and Umar was photographed with him. So apparently he's not very intelligent as well.. Its either that or the whole world is subject to the latest in Loftus' discovery of "Creation of False Memories."

However he made his presence felt – despite his poor form – at a time when a Pakistani fan needed it the most. After believing without a second thought of Butt and Aamer’s fixing (before asking for a fair trial – the only solace I have), I had to wipe tears when I saw the final day of the Lord’s Test. Here were 2 sportsmen – my favourite players who had the whole world at their feet – and now they had shattered my heart into bits and pieces. Umar Akmal’s 80-odd in that dire situation was more than a breath of fresh air. His drives, his cuts and not to mention, the goofy smile on his face – all made me realise of the endless pool of talent Pakistan (and the Akmal family in particular) would continue to produce. Aamer, Asif and Butt (and Kamran at that time) – need to be treated fairly no matter how heinous the crime they committed. A fair trial was their right. But in case they were guilty – their absence would hurt like anything – my heart wrenches in pain at the mere prospect of it – but there would always, always be people to fill in the gaps and appease the pain. That “shoda” Akmal re-instilled the faith in my cricket team the day I thought that was the final nail in the coffin of our cricket had been struck. Top cricketing talent it seems is written in the destiny of this country – and we can hope the authorities nurture it properly, for the sake of us fans.

But puh-leaaaase! Getting emotional at the mention of Umar Akmal?! It is as hilarious as it gets! Umar’s a top player – in dire need of straightening out his priorities and form – but immense talent as a batsman and as a dancer. Kudos to the chota Akmal!

[Noork85]

Uknow, u guys r fantastic writers, how about publishing some of this stuff? Its rather easy now, can be done online, im sure u know. id love to read something "official". :D

[Krishnan]

Collection of true incidents in daily life


1.A hair raising experience



Hair cuts are supposed to be a good event to be looking forward to for most people around the world.Kids visit the barber shop hesitatingly,most of the time looking around the shop in surprise or awe,and as time goes by, let out a cry the moment the scissors land on their head.Adolescence is the age of exposure,where a survey indicates guys spend more time on their hair than any other part of the body to impress the opposite side.Maturity and old age brings with it the problems of hair fall,where going to the barber shop,just becomes a part of daily activities,though of course celebrities are always the exceptions.

So why is it ,it should be different for me.Am i so special?Do i have gold locks hidden somewhere inside,which i would have to conceal.Does my hair have a tensile strength equal to that of a spider's web.


Childhood in barber shops always bought me experiences associated with the kuber ross cycle-Shock, Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Testing, Acceptance.A typical scene at a would result as follows:

Man: Welcome!

Me: Hello

Man: Take your seat.Cut or shave?

Me: Cut(Me Thinking-Do you see any hair on my face.I am 13 years old.Asking for formality is ok,but is this not too much)

Man: Ok.Medium or short?

Me: Medium(Grave mistake which got rectified by maturity)

Man: (Begins slowly cutting)

Time passes by.10 minutes over

Man and his assistants chuckle

Me: Any problem?

Man: Sir your hair is very straight and unique,it is not possible to make any style with these types.

Me: (Kuber ross cycle sets in,Reaches stage 3,but does not have the courage to shout ,goes to final stage- acceptance).Do the best you can!

Man:Sir nothing much can be done,can i cut your hair short?

Me:No.medium is enough.

Man: (2 minutes pass).Sir its all done

Me:Thank you(And comes out)

Few chuckles again heard behind the back when i go out.

Next day at school was always a nice learning experience.You din't need to watch animal planet or discovery those days.Name the animal,i knew it-right from porcupine to giraffe my hair would be compared with,which gave me immense knowledge of wildlife,and fetched me even a prize in national wildlife talent search exam.

Adolescence is the age of advises.Nothing but your friends,seem the experts.From wearing a cap,to immersing the entire hair in some liquid,Hair smoothening techniques would be the order of the day.You name it-i try the technique.Visit to barber shops anywhere,would still received the same chuckles.But as time went by,the chuckles lessened,not because of a miracle change in my hair type,but of leaving the hair uncut for too many days.A typical hair cutting process at the shop involved:

Man(Smiling and starting to cut the sides)

Man(Slightly getting irritated as he digs deeper and sees the amount of hair)

Man(Getting more irritated,goes to other side and starts cutting,only to find more hair there and get still more irritated)

Final word:Sir your hair is some hair

Me: (Thinking-Die you people,die.How many times i would have suffered.suffer now)


Next time on return:

Original cutter to assistant:Hey you cut this hair,i have some work outside.


Today i remain in the stage of late adolescence.Today while i am writing this,i laugh at those experiences,not because those were funny,its because it was i who was funny.Do i had to really make a fuss about these things?Did i really have to behave,as if my entire life depended on it?Am i doing these things for myself or for the world?The result is clear cut.Today a visit to the shop involves no complications,no arguments,no denials.So what has changed?Have i become saintly,matured,knowledgeable etc etc,Nothing.Absolutely nothing.Its just that i have almost the reached a situation which is bound to make the barber shop experience seem like a minor ruffle-"marriage"

[Energy]

^ Well written and composed Krishnan. And certainly one of the true incidents of daily life.

[Radiance Of Australis]

Dedicated to my beautiful homeland...Pakistan.
Too many words ending with "-and" but whatever,lol.
The Beauty Of The Land Seldom Loved

Forgive the land for the sins of its inhabitants.
Spare a thought for the trodden earth.
Veiled under the destruction,
Hidden by destitution, ruined by corruption.

But I invite to have a glance,
To change your stance,
about the land least loved.

Striking emerald, lie the wide stretch of plains
Despite the bloodstains, the beauty remains.
The imposing alps, firm,
stand in guard.
And miles of golden desert sands,
this mistreated land,
Nevertheless attains.

The tributaries of the region,
still gush with passion.
Like the veins of a human,
that never halt their flow, till the end.

The outstretch of the white sand,
running along the coastline,
that yet withstands.
Contrasting colors mingle;
the waves that push forth, along the moistened soil
with a brilliance of periwinkle.

The never-ending sight, of fields
dotted with villages, and areas unmanned,
is an enigma to scan.

The enchanting beauty.
The glorified tradition,
is the least one can praise, about land seldom loved.

[blinding light]

Thank you Noork :)

@ Krishnan - :)) What a nice, sweet piece! :)) We definitely become a bit more insensitive - or hardened as we grow old. I remember I used to scream with frustration when someone would leave the door or the lights open and I'd be in bed - now I just feel glad they're not waking me! :D Nicely written and put a smile on my face :D

@ Super Sixer SISTAH - *sob*............ :6: Girl this was so moving - and spot on! I'm saving it on my PC - its beautiful, SSS - you've a gift of poetry! Thank you for sharing this with me!!

[Radiance Of Australis]

Awwww really?:O
Thank you so much.:):D

[Energy]

At Blinding_Light: Genuine write-up and pretty professional as well. Keep up the good work.

Note: The terms 'batera' and 'shoda' fit perfectly for Umar Akmal. Well-thought out!

[Krishnan]

^ Well written and composed Krishnan. And certainly one of the true incidents of daily life.

Thank you Noork :)

@ Krishnan - :)) What a nice, sweet piece! :)) We definitely become a bit more insensitive - or hardened as we grow old. I remember I used to scream with frustration when someone would leave the door or the lights open and I'd be in bed - now I just feel glad they're not waking me! :D Nicely written and put a smile on my face :D

@ Super Sixer SISTAH - *sob*............ :6: Girl this was so moving - and spot on! I'm saving it on my PC - its beautiful, SSS - you've a gift of poetry! Thank you for sharing this with me!!

Appreciate it,hassam and blinding for your comments.You people have posted some nice stuff here.So as long as my stuff is ok,and does not disturb the general flow of the thread,all well and good.

@blinding-Ya you are very right about the insensitive part as age increases,but sometimes when we reach that stage,again we crave for at least some sensitiveness when we think of some good things which happened in the young age(lol what do,god has designed man's brain like that).And as long as my words or deeds make anyone smile on any day,it is good to hear.

[Krishnan]

Dedicated to my beautiful homeland...Pakistan.
Too many words ending with "-and" but whatever,lol.

To be frank i dont understand any nuances of poem writing,or way these are constructed.But i felt the 2nd stanza(invite stuff) and the later part of 5th stanza was very nice.

And one clarification.Why did you use alps there for the mountains?just like that?

[blinding light]

Awwww really?:O
Thank you so much.:):D

Yes really!! Continue with the good work girl!! :)

At Blinding_Light: Genuine write-up and pretty professional as well. Keep up the good work.

Note: The terms 'batera' and 'shoda' fit perfectly for Umar Akmal. Well-thought out!

Thank you brother Hassam! :) Hope to be so good some day, I'd be writing professional articles here at the PP :D

Akmal's got a bright, colourful personality - one he's not afraid of displaying publicly - thats why it was fun to write about him! :D



@blinding-Ya you are very right about the insensitive part as age increases,but sometimes when we reach that stage,again we crave for at least some sensitiveness when we think of some good things which happened in the young age(lol what do,god has designed man's brain like that).And as long as my words or deeds make anyone smile on any day,it is good to hear.

Yep, very true. We may sometimes cringe at someone's behaviour, labelling it as "antics" while something of similar nature happens to us, and we want to break down crying and be shown mercy. It happens.. :)

[1137moiz]

Collection of true incidents in daily life

Hahah very pithy stuff there :19:

[1137moiz]

Dedicated to my beautiful homeland...Pakistan.
Too many words ending with "-and" but whatever,lol.

Brilliant work MashaAllah! A really fine poem. I don't generally like poems but some of the ones on this thread are crackers

[1137moiz]

HERE IT IS! :D

Please don't kill me - I will continue X's heartbreak as soon as my exams end. And furthermore, I've the perfect angle on Salman Butt and Aamer! Its crazy how adolescent hormones can make you subject to such entertaining displays :D

Anyway, here's what I wrote on Umar Akmal - enjoy :)

Heehee I enjoyed that. I find him kinda annoying (short, loud and green lipstick) but in a likeable way

[blinding light]

Heehee I enjoyed that. I find him kinda annoying (short, loud and green lipstick) but in a likeable way

Thanks brother!! He's comes across as a likeable guy - just the "early fame" getting to him, or maybe he is like that all the time? :))

[Passion4Pakistan]

Any creative writers here? What kind of writing do you do? Anyone got published?

I like to write fantasy and adventure stories. Haven't had anything published yet. Simply because I haven't turned anything in yet. I always feel it's not perfect and then I get back to re-writing and the it's not the same. The last couple of years, I've even had trouble concentrating for long and therefore don't really get much done.

Anyone else who has been successful in this area? Any tips for me to overcome my focus/attention problems?

Hmm. You can Write at some of the World's Leading Article Publishing Websites..

http://ezinearticles.com/

http://shvoong.com

I used to Write Articles there Back in 2008 and Got Published also.. But Now a days Don't have time that much to think about Creative Topics to Keep Writing Articles.

And Yes. Next Month, I will start designing my own Website Based on Sharing Knowledge and Experiences on various Aspects of Human life.

[Passion4Pakistan]

Nice!

The problem with me is, that there are a lot of ideas in my mind but when I sit down to write, I can't seem to know where to start. Once I start, it comes out in a flow and I tend to finish a part of it. Like a chapter. But then the next day when I re-visit it, I always seem to be dissatisfied and that turns me off of continuing it. This is frustrating! Because the ideas stay in my head but I guess I am too much of a perfectionist and that hinders my creativity.

Nope. Perfectionists are those people who can intact all the Ideas they have in their Mind. And you seem to be loosing them and unable to set them in one frame.

When you start writing Don't think too many things at a time. It can make you confused where to start from. If you get a topic to write on, At first, Do research about its History. Try to collect enough data on the topic, Which will help you to stay on the right track while writing about the topic.

And Another thing is very useful while writing. You said after you writing down an article when you read them, you found them like only a chapter of that topic. Well, You can at first Just, Point out the chapters that what sort of things are related to the Topic you are going to right on.

Then Set them on a serial and Write in details about every chapter you have pointed out.

If you start like this, You will be able to point in all the chapters in one article.. :)

Hope my Words will help you. :)

Thanks.

[blinding light]

^ Would you like to share something with us? :)

[Maula Jutt]

Wow. This thread seems to have progressed during my absence. Took me a while to catch up!

Great write ups, Noor, Super Sixer and Krishnan. The pieces are getting better and better as the thread moves on!

Thanks, Passion4Pakistan. That is great advice and very much appreciated. How about a contribution to this thread now, eh? :13:

[blinding light]

What about you? Its ur turn! :P

[Maula Jutt]

What about you? Its ur turn! :P

lol, you're right. I'll post the last part of my previous two pieces about my stay at my cousin's in California. But tomorrow. I'm off for now. Take care, Panday. G'night.

[blinding light]

lol, you're right. I'll post the last part of my previous two pieces about my stay at my cousin's in California. But tomorrow. I'm off for now. Take care, Panday. G'night.

*drops dead*