Monsee
7th February 2006, 21:02
Source: Haathi Aata News Bureau (www.anythingbutnews.com)
Writer: Mr Koo Koo Sidhsayal Singh
ICC issues an important statement:
We have just learned that ICC has secretly received a lot of complaints about the recent dodgy poses of a certain World Class Batsman; he seems to be 'Trying to squat on the pitch' and hence destroying the playing area for good!
Authorities from a playing country have shown pictures of the pitch area where now there is no grass and the Nuclear commission has cordoned off that area due to excessive radiation and stink :31:
Upon learning of this, a certain country's whole population went in to overdrive to show their love for that player by burning down effigies of people from the Nuclear commission. Some of the supporters called it a conspiracy against that Mahan yet Vertically challenged player.
Supporters said "He is a class act and can squat when and where ever he might wish for...it is all a conspiracy to deny the only joy and purpose of our existence"...when told that whenever he performs, their team still looses. They said "That is due to the D/L system and all the matches lost since he made his debut were cause of this system...even where there was no run rate involved"
Further more, ICC revealed that this Squatting Habit' of said player have been going on for a while and they had received similar complaints from other countries too; in fact one country was so full of radiation that ICC took away it's status. That country was a personal favorite of this player and he had scored many a runs there
Reaction from the cricketing world is quite mixed, some are shocked, some are clueless about how to respond and some other countries have ordered 'Testing of their grounds for radiation', where this player has played before.
Stay tuned for further updates...
I am putting the Latest Update here for those who only read the first few posts
Further Updates: From our correspondent 'The Dirt in Pocket Meister'
ICC just released a news update about this ongoing situation and asked all member countries to check their playing centres for further radiation!
The following pictures were released which shows the Keebler Man caught right in the act of 'Squatting'; actually after watching these pics, he is now famously come to have known as 'The *Grand Squatter'.
Ready:
http://www.cricinfo.com/db/PICTURES/CMS/58600/58675.jpg
Set:
http://www.cricinfo.com/db/PICTURES/CMS/58600/58678.jpg
GO...
http://www.cricinfo.com/db/PICTURES/CMS/58600/58679.jpg
Upon condition of anonymity, the ICC maali told us that 'In all my years, I have never seen the ground to have become barren all of a sudden...just like in a flash. Now you see a nice pitch and grass and now you see a radiation filled site; it was like some aliens had landed there and left a crater where their ship landed"
Our correspondent, the Dirt meister further said "ICC is said to be very concerned for the future generations. ICC president, Mr. Slowman is concerned that if this 'Squatting Act' catches on and becomes the rage, a whole new generation of squatters will be putting all cricket grounds out of business...not to forget the stench and radiation left behind"
ICC is said to have started on a future plan on how to nip this 'Squatter in the bud' and they have contacted one 'Koo Koo Singh' in a mental Asylum, who is said to have some plans about how to handle this situation. When contacted, he said "Squatters are like rabbits, they breed faster than a Mahaan player nearing his 100...we must retaliate fast or Aliens will take over soon"
This just in, plans are under way to provide all the spectators, present in a ground with Gas Masks, when this 'Grand Squatter' comes in to play his evil game of squatting...
Please stay tuned for further updates!
Writer: Mr Koo Koo Sidhsayal Singh
ICC issues an important statement:
We have just learned that ICC has secretly received a lot of complaints about the recent dodgy poses of a certain World Class Batsman; he seems to be 'Trying to squat on the pitch' and hence destroying the playing area for good!
Authorities from a playing country have shown pictures of the pitch area where now there is no grass and the Nuclear commission has cordoned off that area due to excessive radiation and stink :31:
Upon learning of this, a certain country's whole population went in to overdrive to show their love for that player by burning down effigies of people from the Nuclear commission. Some of the supporters called it a conspiracy against that Mahan yet Vertically challenged player.
Supporters said "He is a class act and can squat when and where ever he might wish for...it is all a conspiracy to deny the only joy and purpose of our existence"...when told that whenever he performs, their team still looses. They said "That is due to the D/L system and all the matches lost since he made his debut were cause of this system...even where there was no run rate involved"
Further more, ICC revealed that this Squatting Habit' of said player have been going on for a while and they had received similar complaints from other countries too; in fact one country was so full of radiation that ICC took away it's status. That country was a personal favorite of this player and he had scored many a runs there
Reaction from the cricketing world is quite mixed, some are shocked, some are clueless about how to respond and some other countries have ordered 'Testing of their grounds for radiation', where this player has played before.
Stay tuned for further updates...
I am putting the Latest Update here for those who only read the first few posts
Further Updates: From our correspondent 'The Dirt in Pocket Meister'
ICC just released a news update about this ongoing situation and asked all member countries to check their playing centres for further radiation!
The following pictures were released which shows the Keebler Man caught right in the act of 'Squatting'; actually after watching these pics, he is now famously come to have known as 'The *Grand Squatter'.
Ready:
http://www.cricinfo.com/db/PICTURES/CMS/58600/58675.jpg
Set:
http://www.cricinfo.com/db/PICTURES/CMS/58600/58678.jpg
GO...
http://www.cricinfo.com/db/PICTURES/CMS/58600/58679.jpg
Upon condition of anonymity, the ICC maali told us that 'In all my years, I have never seen the ground to have become barren all of a sudden...just like in a flash. Now you see a nice pitch and grass and now you see a radiation filled site; it was like some aliens had landed there and left a crater where their ship landed"
Our correspondent, the Dirt meister further said "ICC is said to be very concerned for the future generations. ICC president, Mr. Slowman is concerned that if this 'Squatting Act' catches on and becomes the rage, a whole new generation of squatters will be putting all cricket grounds out of business...not to forget the stench and radiation left behind"
ICC is said to have started on a future plan on how to nip this 'Squatter in the bud' and they have contacted one 'Koo Koo Singh' in a mental Asylum, who is said to have some plans about how to handle this situation. When contacted, he said "Squatters are like rabbits, they breed faster than a Mahaan player nearing his 100...we must retaliate fast or Aliens will take over soon"
This just in, plans are under way to provide all the spectators, present in a ground with Gas Masks, when this 'Grand Squatter' comes in to play his evil game of squatting...
Please stay tuned for further updates!