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View Full Version : For 24 fans....Top 24 Jack Bauer Facts...



MIG
27th February 2006, 19:45
If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. Only Jack came down. Jill was a bloody terrorist.

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1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.

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Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.

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Jack Bauer sleeps with a gun under the pillow. But he could kill you with the pillow.

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There were originally five horsemen of the apocalypse. Jack Bauer said he would travel by foot.

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The only reason you're conscious right now is because Jack Bauer doesn't want to carry you.

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After running out of ammo, Jack stood in the line of fire, took 3 shots to the chest, and used them to reload.

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[Too graphic ! to post]
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Jack Bauer has no friends, because as a child when he would play cops and robbers, the robbers would all be interogated and killed.

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It took God six days to get His job done; Jack has 24 hours.

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Nostradamus once predicted in his journal: "In the century 21st, the one known as Jacques will be the savior of the world... five seasons in a row." Moments later, Jack Bauer knocked down the door, shot Nostradamus in the kneecaps, and yelled "WHO ARE YOU WORKING FOR?!"

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Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.

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Taco Bell used to close at midnight, until Jack Bauer decided he wanted to have burritos at 2 am.

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Jack Bauer is the reason Waldo is hiding.

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On Jack Bauers Tax Returns, he has to claim the entire world as his dependants.

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Jack Bauer's poker face is so good he once won a game of poker with monopoly money, an eight card from uno, a joker, a visa card, a tissue, and an iPod nano.

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You can't compare Jack Bauer to Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ only came back to life once.

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Jack Bauer has been to Mars. Thats why there's no life on Mars.

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Chuck Norris told Jack Bauer that he only killed 15 people cause he ran out of bullets. Jack told him he only killed 93 people cause he ran out of people. Then Jack snapped Chuck Norris' neck into 24 pieces.

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Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.

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Superman has Jack Bauer pajamas.

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Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.

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Ken Jennings won every game of Jeopardy because he put "Jack Bauer" as the answer to Final Jeopardy, and Jack Bauer is never wrong.

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:))) Hilarious !

Cartman
27th February 2006, 19:50
:))

Slugger
27th February 2006, 20:15
hahahaha

Oxy
27th February 2006, 20:17
I have NEVER seen an episode of this...

Toony™®
27th February 2006, 21:00
Oxy ur missing out..its so unbelievable what a man can go through in 24 hrs.

Cartman
27th February 2006, 22:52
they say its real time.. yet Jack never has to go to the bathroom to take a crap.. I bet he has a builtin disposable system that takes care of all the waste materials.

Geordie Ahmed
27th February 2006, 23:14
they say its real time.. yet Jack never has to go to the bathroom to take a crap.. I bet he has a builtin disposable system that takes care of all the waste materials.

how do we know tho?

What if he goes to the toilet whilst they are showing whats happening with the other characters?

Geordie Ahmed
27th February 2006, 23:15
Oxy ur missing out..its so unbelievable what a man can go through in 24 hrs.

so true - the 5th series has been class so far (been following it on Sky One)

Cartman
27th February 2006, 23:16
Geordie.. you got a point.. maybe the dont want to show him taking a crap so they cut to another character.. i agree.. i missed that one.. i guess i should go back to viewing it.. by the way the sultan rahi/chuck norris style jokes Miggy posted are right on the money.

hatch101
27th February 2006, 23:24
:))) :)))

those are the funniest one i've ever read!

octavian
28th February 2006, 04:36
hey GA, not surprised at your posts at all.

after all, he is your role model :91:

Geordie Ahmed
28th February 2006, 16:59
hey GA, not surprised at your posts at all.

after all, he is your role model :91:

You damn right - Jack Bauer kicks @ss :27:

Amir
28th February 2006, 17:37
Mind me for not understanding british related humour, but can anyone care to explain who is Jack Bauer to me?

MIG
28th February 2006, 18:33
JB is the main character of a hit ( almost cult) American series called 24 - you need to see it to know what it is.

Here is a link:

http://www.fox.com/24/

Cartman
28th February 2006, 20:27
I am in the US and I have never seen a full episode of ER, 24, CSI and all these other "cult" hits.. surprising isnt it.. American Idol, Dancing with the stars, Beauty and the geek, yeah any of them.. I do like Bones however.

smoothcriminal
28th February 2006, 23:22
lol i have seen those. those are absolutely hilarious. for me jack bauer is the best character on tv right now hands down. for those of you who have not seen 24 yet, i urge you to just watch 1 episode and you will be instantly hooked. its simply one of the best tv shows out right now. anyone watching season 5, i just saw last night 4pm to last 5pm. amazing stuff!

Geordie Ahmed
1st March 2006, 00:16
lol i have seen those. those are absolutely hilarious. for me jack bauer is the best character on tv right now hands down. for those of you who have not seen 24 yet, i urge you to just watch 1 episode and you will be instantly hooked. its simply one of the best tv shows out right now. anyone watching season 5, i just saw last night 4pm to last 5pm. amazing stuff!

Well here in the UK 11am - 12pm was aired last week

BTW avoid spoiling the show for anyone that hasnt seen it, if you want to make a comment then mention in bold writing that it is a "spoiler" post

Bitman
1st March 2006, 00:42
:))) :)))

smoothcriminal
1st March 2006, 03:02
Well here in the UK 11am - 12pm was aired last week

BTW avoid spoiling the show for anyone that hasnt seen it, if you want to make a comment then mention in bold writing that it is a "spoiler" post

just for your info, i did not post any spoiler. i was very careful on that. and if you think AMAZING STUFF is a spoiler, then i feel sorry for you because 24 is nothing but amazing stuff each second. and i am sure you know that as much as i do :)

smoothcriminal
1st March 2006, 03:04
JB is the main character of a hit ( almost cult) American series called 24 - you need to see it to know what it is.

Here is a link:

http://www.fox.com/24/


MIG are you a fan of 24?

smoothcriminal
1st March 2006, 03:06
okay this one's kind of vulgar but its still funny


jack bauer had a cat named chuck norris. why? cause chuck's a pu$$y

MIG
1st March 2006, 09:39
MIG are you a fan of 24?

Oh very much so - waiting for the next series to be available to the video rental in the next few weeks !

AT1
1st March 2006, 12:55
awsome stuff haha