Hair Jokes.

[W63L35]

Since most of us have been venting here about what Hair did a week ago. I also saw a few PSed pictured which were pretty funny. I thought, some of the PPers may want to come up with some Hair jokes and make everybody laugh. I'll start with a few. Please feel free to add to the list!

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After Hair changed the ball and gave Pakistan five runs penalty, Inzi comes up to Hair and says, "Boys want to know if there is a penalty for thinking." Darrel Hair says, "No." Inzi says, "Well we think you're a fcking bas-tard, then."

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After September hearing, Hair is convicted and goes to jail. In the prison, a cricket match is arranged and Hair gets to be the honerable umpire. MAtch starts and the fast bowler whizzed down a screamer which just missed, but a bail gently toppled off.

'Not out,' protested the batsman, 'it was the wind.'

'Wind or not,' said Hair, 'you're out on bail!'

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Conversation between Andrew Strauss and his wife after he goes home at the end of Oval Test.

Wife: 'Who's Darrell Hair?'
Andrew: 'He saved us from losing last week.'
Wife: 'Really? Is he a batsman or a bowler?'
Andrew: 'Neither. He's the umpire.'

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Shoaib was disgusted by several of the Hair's decisions in one of the test match.
'Have you got a minute?' he asked.
'Yes,' said Hair.
'Well, tell me all you know about cricket.' Replied Shoaib.
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Umpire
Scholars have determined that the word "Umpire" comes from the Latin terms, "Um" and "Pire," "Um" being to hesitate and "Pire" being a stake upon which people are burnt. The Latin word "Umpire," then, literally means "A hesitant burning stake." An umpire (Homo unsapiens cieca) is a creature of the night that lacks the power of vision, officiates at baseball and cricket games, and feeds on human blood.

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Billy was at school this morning in the outback and the teacher asked all the children what there fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came out, Fireman, Policeman, Salesman, Chippy, Captain of Industry etc, but Billy was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father. "My father is an exotic dancer in a gay club and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes if the offer is really good, he'll go out with a man, rent a cheap hotel room and let them sleep with him. "The teacher quickly set the other children some work and took little Billy aside to ask him if that was really true. "No" said Billy, "He is an international cricket umpire and his name is Darrell Hair but I was just too embarrassed to say it."

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After Hair changed the ball in Oval test, Inzi, Asif, Younis and Afridi started kicking and punching Hair up. Seeing this, Doctrov starts going to back to the pavillion. A spectator said to Doctrov, 'Aren't you going to help?'

Doctorv replied 'No, those 4 should be enough.'
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After Darrell Hair retires, he goes to Sri Lanka for vacation.......and there a guy named John who was on his way to work. He got on his bus and sat down. After a while there is a small bump.
John; "What was that?"
Driver; "It was a cat"
John; "Why did you run it over?"
Driver; "Well it was either that or swerve into the tree at the side of the road and kill us all!"
John; "Oh, fair enough"
A little farther down the road the bus swerves suddenly and a bigger bump shakes the bus.
John; "What was that!!?"
Driver; "It was a dog"
John; "Why did you run it over?"
Driver "I couldn't help it, I tried to swerve but I hit it by accident"
John; "That's awful but I suppose you did try to swerve"
The bus continued on its journey but later on it swerved again and there was a small bump followed by a large thud.
John; "What is it this time?"
Driver; "I hit Darrell Hair"
John; "Oh my god. Is he alright?
Driver; "No he's lying in a pool of blood by the side of the road."
John; "I can't believe this! Why did this have to happen on my journey."
The driver called for an ambulance and the bus set off again. When John got off the bus, he asked the driver:
"If the big bump was Hair, what was the small one?"
The driver simply replied "I had to go on the pavement to get him!"

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Darrell Hair at the barber's shop. "I want a hair cut please".
"Which one?" replies the barber.
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Two junior doctors were involved in a fight in the hospital. The senior surgeon
had to pull them apart.
"What's this all about?"
"It's Darrell Hair in General ward.. he's only got two days to live".
"He had to be told," said the second doctor.
"I know." said the first, "but I wanted to be the one to tell him!"
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[the_game]

:))) I love the first one!

[ShowStopper]

Yeah the first one is good:91::91::91:, But it would have been even better if you had written it in the Enzi style English.

[Zeenix]

THe first one is an absolute beauty

[in_cutter]

Pakistan Soothing Lotion Cost: $500,000...Warning, may result in Hair loss :)

[Easa]

The first one is just :))) :)))

[iZeeshan]

First one is awsome :)))

Inzi English would have made it awsomer! :)

[Easa]

EDIT.

[Raz]

:))):)))The first one is a true classic!!!

[Rickz]

The first one is just brilliant. :))) :)))

[infamous9383]

:)) :)) :))

[Farhad]

After Hair changed the ball and gave Pakistan five runs penalty, Inzi comes up to Hair and says, "My players want to know if there is a penalty for thinking." Darrel Hair says, "No." Inzi says, "Well we think you're a fcking bas-tard, then."

Fantastic! :))) :)))

[infamous9383]

I still am lauging at the last one

[Faisal Akhtar]

Hahaha good jokes! :)))

Heres one

Darrell Hair was on his death bed.

A priest was preparing Darrell Hair for his long journey into the night.

Whispering firmly, the priest said, "Denounce the devil! Let him know how little you think of his evil."

Darrell Hair said nothing.

The priest repeated his order. Still Darrell Hair said nothing.

The priest asked, "Why do you refuse to denounce the devil and his evil?"

Darrell Hair said, "Until I know where I'm heading, I don't think I ought to aggravate anybody."

[zMario]

:)))

:))) :))) :))) :)))

[Easa]

The one that was just included in the OP is just :)))

[W63L35]

Hair and Speed doing a TV commercial!!!


Here it goes....
The faces of a grumpy looking Darrell Hair and a cheerful Malcolm Speed
flash across the television screen as a voice announces

"Embarrassed about prickly and smelly armpit HAIR"
"Look no further, SPEED to the rescue"
"Introducing anti-perspirant deodorant malcolm SPEED stick for non stop
protection"
"And a feeling worth half-a-million bucks"

"Available in three invigorating scents
Lankan Diabolique, Kiwi Cowie and Attar-i-Inzamam"

[vortex619]

:)) :)) :)) great jokes

[W63L35]

:)) :)) :)) great jokes

.....no, these are Hair Jokes! :P