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MIG
3rd February 2005, 07:17
Wah, Wah ICC, kamal dikhadya !! Now this ?

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Inzamam fined for Slow thinking by ICC
By our ICCC reporter

Lahore: Pakistan's captain, Inzamam-ul-Haq, has been fined 100% of his match fee, after being found guilty of breaching the ICC Code of Conduct for his "Slow thinking" rate in their victory over West Indies on Tuesday.

Chris Broad, the ICC's match referee, found Inzamam guilty of breaching Clause C12.7.8.9, para 6 of the Code of Conduct, which states that players shall at all times think fast on their feet and that, in particular, captains are responsible at all times for ensuring that this is adhered to.

According to the charge sheet, read very slowly by Chris Broad, Inzi had taken approx 2.9809 sec / decision on the field, thereby violating ICCs set limit of 1 sec /decision. In one instance, Inzi took all of 3.9080secs to scratch his head and put his cap on - unacceptable to the ICC and the cricketing world in particular.

Chris Broad, himself an experienced cricketer carried on to say that in his days, decisions were taken much faster than in this so called age of computers - he recalled one such instance where he took the decision to abuse Umpire Shakoor Rana and his mother , even before Shakoor had said anything - thus demonstrating his lightening fast reflexes . He also recalled Mike Gattings thunderbolts to Pakistani fielders and the rate of finger waving at Shakoor Rana - another example of the superiority of the White Race ( err off the record pls ) . He said that Inzi should improve the rate of his thoughts by doing what all good English and Ausrtralian cricketers have done in the past, drink a can of Fosters before and after each thought.

Reaction in Pakistan, was understandably that of violent indignation. As gangs of Inzi supporters burnt out effigies of Chris Broad in a slow and painful manner, they slowly shouted abuse at him. Sarfraz Nawaz , a Pakistani hero from the past, was at hand to organize the burning of effigies. In his typically slow delivery, he said "I do not understand why Inzi is being targetted by ICC when coach Bob Woolmer ( PAKISTANS purely FOREIGN AND ENGLISH coach ) is allowed to go Scotland free ? I mean where is the justice"

When asked for his comments, the Chairman of selectors Wasim Bari , replied that Taufeeq Umar was being sent to Australia and that was the end of the matter. When pointed out that Taufeeq was already in Australia, and his presence had no bearing on the matter at hand, Bari is supposed to have started crying and cursed Zaheer Abbas for a dropped catch (??) He was then carried away by his supporters to Mayo hospital where he remains under observation.

[TheSourceNews]

Officer Barbrady
3rd February 2005, 07:25
:oD :oD :oD |-U

MIG this is quality stuff!

zulfiqar
3rd February 2005, 07:41
MiG I think you are copying this off from somewhere... there can't possibly be this much genius in one person's mind :P :):):)

MIG
3rd February 2005, 07:45
You are right, I admit this - look at the Inzi fined for Slow Over rates thread and you will see what I mean !!

Thanks for your encouragement !!

Sheikh_Ji
3rd February 2005, 07:54
good stuff dude....!
|-G |-U |-U |-U |-G

Officer Barbrady
3rd February 2005, 09:20
I nominate this for inclusion to the Satire section.

Riya
3rd February 2005, 12:11
:oD :oD :oD :oD

MIG u are the best!!!! This is really good stuff. Continue writing and please don't let anybody discourage... :-)

MIG
3rd February 2005, 12:13
Many thanks Riya.

Riya
3rd February 2005, 12:26
MIG u are welcome i wish i had ur gift of satire... Do u know that one of ur articles was posted on pakistanimedia.com the one about parents not wanting pak to win etc.. and those people there thought it was real and were arguing about how pak journalists are and from is this source etc... it was hilarious!!! Finally someone told them that it was a fun article not to be taken seriously.... :-)

MIG
3rd February 2005, 12:40
Amazing ? I think I better go underground unless they come looking for me :oD !!

But , seriously , many thanks. You wont believe it but I read these out to my 2 sons ( 11 and 8 ) and they really get a kick out of reading them as well !

MIG
3rd February 2005, 12:50
I just read that article as posted on that site and the reactions are absolutely hilarious :oD - The stuff a satirists dream are made of !

However, I am a bit disappointed in the AhmedTheGreat chap for not giving credit to the author ! But thats life ! I must thank Razzler for trying to explain the fact that it was a joke - but the reactions there are just out of this world.

Thanks a lot Riya !

Riya
3rd February 2005, 13:02
:oD :oD :oD

MIG Iam not a member there, hence could'nt post and let them know... ALso after reading the first post i thought to myself that this can only get better :oD Did'nt know that raz goes there too.. It's sad that the poster did not give credit to u... Why don't u make a fictious name and write as an author or atleast post it in the member's only forum so that these gem of articles don't get posted at every other forum and all and sundry taking credit for them. Just a suggestion...

feather
3rd February 2005, 13:07
MIG><Barney...combination of true talent!

MIG
3rd February 2005, 13:08
Thanks Riya - too much work I am afraid - for the moment, I will lurk around and derive satisfaction for providing this public service - thanks again!

MIG
3rd February 2005, 17:49
B :oD ump....

Gasherbrum
3rd February 2005, 19:32
buhaha MIG dude, love the Wasim Bari - Taufeeq solution to all problems line ...

Saj
3rd February 2005, 20:13
top stuff MIG. A very enjoyable read.

3rd February 2005, 20:20
One of the best yet.
Top Stuff

Saj
3rd February 2005, 20:55
one for the satire section definitely.

MIG
7th April 2005, 10:09
Inzi at it again...and Chris Broad too...

Rob H
7th April 2005, 11:10
Great stuff MIG, How do you think of it

ImranR
7th April 2005, 11:20
great stuff