CricketBuff
8th April 2007, 06:03
Here is a nice article from Dawn, Pak:
Morality is the name of the game
By Mustansar Hussain Tarar
Some years back I was sitting in a transporter’s office in Gilgit trying to arrange a jeep for Tarshing, which in my opinion is the most spectacular and breathtaking village in Pakistan, surrounded by the snows of killer mountain Nanga Parbat. In the meantime a German tourist arrived who booked a jeep for the Khunjrab Pass. He paid the advance money and said, “Please make sure that the driver is competent as the mountain road is rather precarious.”
“All the mountain drivers are competent, otherwise they would have perished a long time ago,” Mr Baig, the transporter, assured him smilingly.
“Then make sure that the driver is not very young,” the German was also amused and while getting up to leave he said, “I want the jeep at my hotel exactly at six clock in the morning.”
“InshaAllah,” Mr Baig muttered.
The German, slightly taken aback, pointed a finger at Mr Baig and said in a somber tone, “No InshaAllah, I want my jeep at six in the morning.”
“Sir, it will be there at six, InshaAllah.”
The German was agitated, “Look here I have told you that I want my jeep at six in the morning without an InshaAllah.”
When I intervened to settle the matter, the German disclosed that it is his experience in Pakistan that when an InshaAllah is added to a statement it means maybe or maybe not, so he wants his jeep at six in the morning without it.
When the Pakistan cricket team was leaving to compete in the World Cup, the captain and most of the players declared that they will win the World Cup, adding InshaAllah. After all I am also a true believer of sorts, having penned a travelogue of Haj and a night spent in Ghar-e-Hira and truly believe in InshaAllah, but there were so many of them that I had my doubts. It was less of a maybe and more of a maybe not, so I was not disappointed by their dismal performance at all. However, the rest of the nation wondered that if the female students of Hafsa Madressa are still not out, how come our equally pious and bearded players got out.
Whenever our cricket or hockey teams come back after winning some prestigious tournament which used to happen quite frequently in the distant past, they always declared they owed their success to the prayers of qaum. Now if they are back rather ignobly defeated, it is the qaum who should be reprimanded for not praying hard enough, the players are not to be blamed at all.
During the benevolent reign of Ziaul Haq, the Pakistani contingent after “competing” in the Olympics returned empty-handed, without winning even a bronze to console the grieving nation. They were invited for a presidential dinner during which Ziaul Haq very kindly enquired from each team member as to what was the main cause of their total failure.
The hockey wallas complained about the hockey sticks which had somehow shrunk due to the weather conditions. The athletes said that the other competing athletes were so ill-mannered that they just kept running while they were catching their breath and they did not wait for them to catch up. Besides, their meters were longer than Pakistani meters, etc., and then the President asked the manager of swimming contingent as to why they had not won any event.
He replied grudgingly, “Mr President, you are talking about winning a swimming event, you should thank God that all of us are back alive and none of us was drowned there.”
Therefore, we should also thank Almighty that the cricket team has come back alive, look what happened to Woolmer.
But seriously, who are these nuts who are burning effigies of the players and stoning their houses and abusing them left, right and centre, what are their credentials as a nation? One of the most corrupt nations in the world – is that the credential? What have they achieved on the world level except notoriety and religious bigotries, and they expect their team to win the World Cup?
They have never burned a single effigy of a person who was responsible for the loss of half of their country, nor of those rolling stone lotas who gather a lot of moss while rolling from one party to the other without any shame. No sir, they do not indulge in such dignified reactions, instead they hurl stones at the helpless players who were definitely, but temporarily, inefficient to say the most.
Mind you, it is easier to become a minister in this country than to achieve a national and international status in the cricket field. You have to have exceptional talent and lifelong devotion to achieve that. You do fail at times, and who does not.
However, there was this ray of sunshine in this dark episode, the failure of the boys was not attributed for once to their lecherous morals as most of the team is supposed to be very pious and “thanks to Allah” type. Nevertheless, the question is, do our brand of morals matter to achieve a victory in the field of sports or war? The Australian players, from our standards, are the most lecherous and immoral to say the least. Every other day some lady of questionable virtue walks into the hotel where the Australians are staying, with a baby in her lap and enquiring where the father is or maybe who amongst them is the father. And even then they are unbeatable on the cricket field.
Mr Shane Warne, easily the most outstanding bowler of our age, has a reputation which, at least, I envy very much. I doubt if any of them has even peeped inside a church during their present immoral life. It holds true for South Africans, Kiwis and the Brits.
It will be interesting to note that in years gone by, the Pakistani cricket teams which won laurels for their country were also slightly ‘immoral’. Without naming anyone, there was this cavalier dashing batsman of Pakistan who was totally merry when he went in to bat.
Then another star batsman, very popular with the crowd, would puff away at a cigarette refilled with some sort of grass while waiting for his turn. And when his turn came, he will get up, take a few steps towards the pitch and then come back and request his friend, who would be holding his cigarette, “Yaar aik soota aur lagwado”. And he always performed.
About our dear Imran Khan, now reformed perhaps, the less said the better. Our cricket team, which created history by leveling the series on their first tour of England by winning the Oval Test, created another record. When they returned home, three of them were accompanied by their recently acquired English wives. At least one of them was married in a church ceremony.
I am sure people of my age remember a photograph of Fazal Mehmud, without doubt the most dashing and handsome cricketer the like of which was never seen again, holding and hoisting a glass of bubbly champagne after the Oval victory. It is another matter that afterwards he turned towards religion, not out of fashion but out of conviction, and wrote some very thought provoking books about religion. This only happened when his cricketing days were over, so no harm was done.
I do sympathies with the much-abused Pakistani cricket team because after a dismal failure, they do not have the options of politicians to roll over and change sides by establishing their patriotism and their empires. If we can forgive the politicians and the generals, why can’t we forgive these poor souls?
Morality is the name of the game
By Mustansar Hussain Tarar
Some years back I was sitting in a transporter’s office in Gilgit trying to arrange a jeep for Tarshing, which in my opinion is the most spectacular and breathtaking village in Pakistan, surrounded by the snows of killer mountain Nanga Parbat. In the meantime a German tourist arrived who booked a jeep for the Khunjrab Pass. He paid the advance money and said, “Please make sure that the driver is competent as the mountain road is rather precarious.”
“All the mountain drivers are competent, otherwise they would have perished a long time ago,” Mr Baig, the transporter, assured him smilingly.
“Then make sure that the driver is not very young,” the German was also amused and while getting up to leave he said, “I want the jeep at my hotel exactly at six clock in the morning.”
“InshaAllah,” Mr Baig muttered.
The German, slightly taken aback, pointed a finger at Mr Baig and said in a somber tone, “No InshaAllah, I want my jeep at six in the morning.”
“Sir, it will be there at six, InshaAllah.”
The German was agitated, “Look here I have told you that I want my jeep at six in the morning without an InshaAllah.”
When I intervened to settle the matter, the German disclosed that it is his experience in Pakistan that when an InshaAllah is added to a statement it means maybe or maybe not, so he wants his jeep at six in the morning without it.
When the Pakistan cricket team was leaving to compete in the World Cup, the captain and most of the players declared that they will win the World Cup, adding InshaAllah. After all I am also a true believer of sorts, having penned a travelogue of Haj and a night spent in Ghar-e-Hira and truly believe in InshaAllah, but there were so many of them that I had my doubts. It was less of a maybe and more of a maybe not, so I was not disappointed by their dismal performance at all. However, the rest of the nation wondered that if the female students of Hafsa Madressa are still not out, how come our equally pious and bearded players got out.
Whenever our cricket or hockey teams come back after winning some prestigious tournament which used to happen quite frequently in the distant past, they always declared they owed their success to the prayers of qaum. Now if they are back rather ignobly defeated, it is the qaum who should be reprimanded for not praying hard enough, the players are not to be blamed at all.
During the benevolent reign of Ziaul Haq, the Pakistani contingent after “competing” in the Olympics returned empty-handed, without winning even a bronze to console the grieving nation. They were invited for a presidential dinner during which Ziaul Haq very kindly enquired from each team member as to what was the main cause of their total failure.
The hockey wallas complained about the hockey sticks which had somehow shrunk due to the weather conditions. The athletes said that the other competing athletes were so ill-mannered that they just kept running while they were catching their breath and they did not wait for them to catch up. Besides, their meters were longer than Pakistani meters, etc., and then the President asked the manager of swimming contingent as to why they had not won any event.
He replied grudgingly, “Mr President, you are talking about winning a swimming event, you should thank God that all of us are back alive and none of us was drowned there.”
Therefore, we should also thank Almighty that the cricket team has come back alive, look what happened to Woolmer.
But seriously, who are these nuts who are burning effigies of the players and stoning their houses and abusing them left, right and centre, what are their credentials as a nation? One of the most corrupt nations in the world – is that the credential? What have they achieved on the world level except notoriety and religious bigotries, and they expect their team to win the World Cup?
They have never burned a single effigy of a person who was responsible for the loss of half of their country, nor of those rolling stone lotas who gather a lot of moss while rolling from one party to the other without any shame. No sir, they do not indulge in such dignified reactions, instead they hurl stones at the helpless players who were definitely, but temporarily, inefficient to say the most.
Mind you, it is easier to become a minister in this country than to achieve a national and international status in the cricket field. You have to have exceptional talent and lifelong devotion to achieve that. You do fail at times, and who does not.
However, there was this ray of sunshine in this dark episode, the failure of the boys was not attributed for once to their lecherous morals as most of the team is supposed to be very pious and “thanks to Allah” type. Nevertheless, the question is, do our brand of morals matter to achieve a victory in the field of sports or war? The Australian players, from our standards, are the most lecherous and immoral to say the least. Every other day some lady of questionable virtue walks into the hotel where the Australians are staying, with a baby in her lap and enquiring where the father is or maybe who amongst them is the father. And even then they are unbeatable on the cricket field.
Mr Shane Warne, easily the most outstanding bowler of our age, has a reputation which, at least, I envy very much. I doubt if any of them has even peeped inside a church during their present immoral life. It holds true for South Africans, Kiwis and the Brits.
It will be interesting to note that in years gone by, the Pakistani cricket teams which won laurels for their country were also slightly ‘immoral’. Without naming anyone, there was this cavalier dashing batsman of Pakistan who was totally merry when he went in to bat.
Then another star batsman, very popular with the crowd, would puff away at a cigarette refilled with some sort of grass while waiting for his turn. And when his turn came, he will get up, take a few steps towards the pitch and then come back and request his friend, who would be holding his cigarette, “Yaar aik soota aur lagwado”. And he always performed.
About our dear Imran Khan, now reformed perhaps, the less said the better. Our cricket team, which created history by leveling the series on their first tour of England by winning the Oval Test, created another record. When they returned home, three of them were accompanied by their recently acquired English wives. At least one of them was married in a church ceremony.
I am sure people of my age remember a photograph of Fazal Mehmud, without doubt the most dashing and handsome cricketer the like of which was never seen again, holding and hoisting a glass of bubbly champagne after the Oval victory. It is another matter that afterwards he turned towards religion, not out of fashion but out of conviction, and wrote some very thought provoking books about religion. This only happened when his cricketing days were over, so no harm was done.
I do sympathies with the much-abused Pakistani cricket team because after a dismal failure, they do not have the options of politicians to roll over and change sides by establishing their patriotism and their empires. If we can forgive the politicians and the generals, why can’t we forgive these poor souls?