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MIG
3rd May 2005, 10:48
What is the best time to talk to kids about this subject ? ( Assuming that they havent "heard" of it approx 10 years ago !)

Whats the Islamic line on this ?

Should we wait until they pick incomplete and potentially harmful information from peers or let the school teachers ( in the West ) let them guide your child ?

Officer Barbrady
3rd May 2005, 10:49
By birds and bee's you mean sex education ?

MIG
3rd May 2005, 10:50
naheeeeennnnn !!!! you said that - I must do my wudooo again.....


Yes.

Officer Barbrady
3rd May 2005, 10:59
Well I learnt everything in school as did everyone I knew (by 7th grade we knew a lot; by 8th we were genuine PHDs).

MIG
3rd May 2005, 11:04
In Pakistan, there is no concept of sex edu in schools, is that right ? and the religious angle is a total no no - so the choices are simple - your friends and other publications (ahem) are your guides. Also Pak parents are very uptight about the issue - is that changing now ?

Officer Barbrady
3rd May 2005, 11:07
No at least not in most schools, there may be exceptions. Yes friends and publications and the internet (they are all linked) are the guides. Parents usually don't get involved I guess.

MIG
3rd May 2005, 11:13
But parent should get involved - I think its silly - I believe from an Islamic point of view ( someone pls correct me on this) , both boys and girls should be told of their responsibilities as they attain puberty.

zushy_786
3rd May 2005, 11:14
In Pakistan, there is no concept of sex edu in schools, is that right ? and the religious angle is a total no no - so the choices are simple - your friends and other publications (ahem) are your guides. Also Pak parents are very uptight about the issue - is that changing now ?

Miggy, my parents never talked about birds and bees ever, so I found out about it in sex-ed in school when we moved to Canada in 1994.....

The funny thing is even now we are all older, that topic is taboo....My mom changes the channel even when two people are kissing for god sakes, so its pretty hard to even bring it up....Pretty much we are left on our own to figure out for ourselves :)?

Officer Barbrady
3rd May 2005, 11:18
I don't really know mig. We found out on our own and we were fine! I can't say what would generally be the right thing to do.

As for the religious side of things at least in Pakistan it was highly unlikely that a 11/12/13 yr old would find a partner and erm have sex....other than that there isn't much to it after all.

Daoud
3rd May 2005, 11:21
My parents didnt actually tell me. I found out when I was in Year 7 when we first did sex-ed. I think I was the only person in my class who didnt know :))
My brother on the other hand seemed to know when he was in Year 3, and even then he complained that he was the last person to know :))

But I guess I was spared an embarrasing talk like what the father in American Pie did, so in a way Im grateful

catwoman
3rd May 2005, 11:28
I think it's for important for every parent to talk about it with their children and sex-ed should a part of the curriculum in Pakistan. It shouldn't be such a taboo subject.

MIG
3rd May 2005, 11:29
My parents didnt actually tell me. I found out when I was in Year 7 when we first did sex-ed. I think I was the only person in my class who didnt know :))
My brother on the other hand seemed to know when he was in Year 3, and even then he complained that he was the last person to know :))

But I guess I was spared an embarrasing talk like what the father in American Pie did, so in a way Im grateful

:D

zushy_786
3rd May 2005, 11:34
I think it's for important for every parent to talk about it with their children and sex-ed should a part of the curriculum in Pakistan. It shouldn't be such a taboo subject.

Mona,

Unfortunetly it is...And my mom is same way eventhough she doesn't live in Pakistan anymore......

Officer Barbrady
3rd May 2005, 11:35
It would certainly have been quite embarassing (especially if I already knew about it)

catwoman
3rd May 2005, 11:40
I think it's for important for every parent to talk about it with their children and sex-ed should a part of the curriculum in Pakistan. It shouldn't be such a taboo subject.

Mona,

Unfortunetly it is...And my mom is same way eventhough she doesn't live in Pakistan anymore......

It's not such a big taboo in my family especially with my mom.

MIG
3rd May 2005, 11:42
Well I know that my son was taught this in school so I checked up on what they had been told - after some minutes of embarassing non eye contact type conversations, happy to report that its done in a very innocent yet matter of fact way. But its good to start "mentioning" it a younger age before it enters the realms of a total no no when they get to the teens ! Also in this age of Aids/Hiv its so important that the children are well informed - makes it imperative for parents to be involved - IMHO!

zushy_786
3rd May 2005, 11:47
Well I know that my son was taught this in school so I checked up on what they had been told - after some minutes of embarassing non eye contact type conversations, happy to report that its done in a very innocent yet matter of fact way. But its good to start "mentioning" it a younger age before it enters the realms of a total no no when they get to the teens ! Also in this age of Aids/Hiv its so important that the children are well informed - makes it imperative for parents to be involved - IMHO!Miggy,

Good to see that you are talking it over with your child about an important subject....If only other parents were as understanding as you !

Officer Barbrady
3rd May 2005, 11:50
It is indeed extremely embarassing. Whether the schools have a policy or not rest assured they know all about it before they get to the teens. Some detailed info on hiv is all that may be missing.

MIG
3rd May 2005, 12:12
Yaar - more I read about people with HIV and how they got it - it just takes one momentary lapse of judgement and you are condemned forever - no parent should ever see that in their lifetime - a little embarassment now versus a lifetime of suffering - which one would u choose ?

Officer Barbrady
3rd May 2005, 12:17
Yes well keep the conversations short and few imo!

MIG
3rd May 2005, 12:23
Yes well keep the conversations short and few imo!

As people who deal with me on a daily basis know - NO conversation is ever brief !

feather
3rd May 2005, 12:25
I am little freaked out about this issue even though as it would have seriously freaked me out had one my parents even tried talking to me about it and I would have tough time doing the same but this is something I would seriously want to discuss with my children.

I believe kids who really aren't tought about these things think it is something like jaddo ki puria or something that they really need to find out and sometime kids make mistakes and go on trying these things.

I think now days this would be something all the parents should do...I am not sure about you guys but now days you can simply forget about 12-14 yrs old learning these things but more like 6-7 yrs old kids knowing fully well what is going on.

I use to think I learned all this from a very young age but now days things freak me out.

I wouldn't say it is really hard to find a partner with in Pakistan than again I could be wrong but somebody needs to put a stop to that doctor doctor thingy...

adi 101
3rd May 2005, 12:56
By birds and bee's you mean sex education ?
:)) :)) :))

Love and Theft
3rd May 2005, 17:54
It is not just about diseases. Sexuality is an important part of a human being and it is the responsibility of parents to talk about it with their kids in a friendly and frank manner.

octavian
4th May 2005, 00:48
I still cant think , what is the connection between sex education and Birds and Bees ??

HAFRIDI
4th May 2005, 00:57
:)?

Schiller
4th May 2005, 05:24
Migsy, no need to overdo the communiation with kids
they will learn from their peers and it wont do much harm either, you can advise indirectly re stds but no need to overdo it

zushy_786
4th May 2005, 06:53
Migsy, no need to overdo the communiation with kids
they will learn from their peers and it wont do much harm either, you can advise indirectly re stds but no need to overdo itYep, a shining example of that is Umar :).....

Schiller
4th May 2005, 07:43
:))2 :))2

Officer Barbrady
4th May 2005, 08:24
Migsy, no need to overdo the communiation with kids
they will learn from their peers and it wont do much harm either, you can advise indirectly re stds but no need to overdo it

If not, you'll embarass the hell out of them to the point that they ll be wearing burkaas around the house.

Daoud
4th May 2005, 08:34
Now that would be disturbing as he has 2 boys :))

MIG
4th May 2005, 10:48
I still cant think , what is the connection between sex education and Birds and Bees ??

Have a look at this :



http://www.takeourword.com/TOW164/page2.html
From Donald Cox:

I have been searching everywhere and have been unable to locate any origin of the euphemism the birds and the bees for talking about sex with children. Any ideas?

Sex education of less enlightened days often consisted of a few oblique references to birds laying eggs and bees pollinating flowers. The parent, satisfied that an unpleasant duty had been accomplished, then left the child to make his own dubious inferences regarding reproduction as it applied to the human species.

[And then the parents wondered why their child suddenly refused to eat either eggs or honey.]


Also look at:


http://www.screenonline.org.uk/film/id/709057/#