farid1
16th February 2005, 20:34
Best show....ever :oD
Homer: "I need a present for my son's birthday!"
Clerk: "I have this Krusty the Clown doll."
Homer: "That's good!"
Clerk: "But I must warn you, the doll is cursed!"
Homer: "That's bad!"
Clerk: "But it comes with a free froghurt."
Homer: "That's good!"
Clerk: "The froghurt is also cursed."
Homer: "That's bad!"
Clerk: "But it comes with a free choice of toppings!"
Homer: "That's good!"
Clerk: "The toppings contain potassium benzoate."
Homer: " "
Clerk: "That's bad..."
Homer: "Can I go now?"
========
Homer: "Now, what is a wedding? Webster's dictionary defines it as 'the process of removing weeds from one's garden'."
=======
Lionel Huntz: "This is the greatest case of False Advertising I've seen since I sued the movie The Never Ending Story"
======
Hutz: Mrs Simpson, what did you and your husband do after you were ejected from the restaurant?
Marge: We pretty much went straight home.
Hutz: Mrs Simpson, you're under oath.
Marge: We drove around until 3am looking for another 'All You Can Eat' fish restaurant.
Hutz: And when you couldn't find one?
Marge: We went fishing. (Marge bursts into tears)
Hutz: (To the jury) Do these sound like the actions of a man who had 'all he could eat'?
=======
Professor Frink: (Pointing to a square on a blackboard) "This is an ordinary square.
Chief Wiggum: "Whoa Whoa - slow down egghead"
========
Ned Flanders; " No, I'am not gay, I wouldn't even eat a vegetable thats more than two inches long"
=========
Hi Super Nintendo Chalmers
Me fail English? That's unpossible.
That's where I saw the Leprchaun. He tells me to burn things
Ralph Wiggum^^^
=========
Mr. Burns: You're fired.
Marge: You can't fire me just because I'm married. I'm gonna sue the pants off of you.
Mr. Burns: You don't have to sue me to get my pants off.
(Growls)
===========
Lisa and Homer's Mum in the living room singing: "How many roads must a man walk down, before you can call him a man?"
Homer walks in to the room: "SEVEN!"
Lisa: "No dad, it's a rhetorical question"
Homer: "Rhetorical, eh? .... EIGHT!"
============
Bart (to Milhouse, after claiming he never cried): "Yes you do _ you cry when you do long division and have a remainder left over!"
=============
Homer & Ned driving down the road together...
Flanders: "I think you hit something Homer!"
Homer: "Hope it was Flanders! Hehehe!"
============
Australian: That's not a knife. That's a knife!
Bart: That's a spoon.
Australian: Ah, I see you've played knifey Spooney before then!
===========
Bart: [walking into TV room] Hey, guys? Just so you don't hear any
wild rumors, I'm being indicted for fraud in Australia.
Homer: That's no reason to block the TV.
=========
Homer: "Hello, my name is Mr Burns. I believe you have a letter for me..."
Clerk: "Ok Mr Burns, what's your first name?"
Homer: "I... don't know."
===========
Homer: "I need a present for my son's birthday!"
Clerk: "I have this Krusty the Clown doll."
Homer: "That's good!"
Clerk: "But I must warn you, the doll is cursed!"
Homer: "That's bad!"
Clerk: "But it comes with a free froghurt."
Homer: "That's good!"
Clerk: "The froghurt is also cursed."
Homer: "That's bad!"
Clerk: "But it comes with a free choice of toppings!"
Homer: "That's good!"
Clerk: "The toppings contain potassium benzoate."
Homer: " "
Clerk: "That's bad..."
Homer: "Can I go now?"
========
Homer: "Now, what is a wedding? Webster's dictionary defines it as 'the process of removing weeds from one's garden'."
=======
Lionel Huntz: "This is the greatest case of False Advertising I've seen since I sued the movie The Never Ending Story"
======
Hutz: Mrs Simpson, what did you and your husband do after you were ejected from the restaurant?
Marge: We pretty much went straight home.
Hutz: Mrs Simpson, you're under oath.
Marge: We drove around until 3am looking for another 'All You Can Eat' fish restaurant.
Hutz: And when you couldn't find one?
Marge: We went fishing. (Marge bursts into tears)
Hutz: (To the jury) Do these sound like the actions of a man who had 'all he could eat'?
=======
Professor Frink: (Pointing to a square on a blackboard) "This is an ordinary square.
Chief Wiggum: "Whoa Whoa - slow down egghead"
========
Ned Flanders; " No, I'am not gay, I wouldn't even eat a vegetable thats more than two inches long"
=========
Hi Super Nintendo Chalmers
Me fail English? That's unpossible.
That's where I saw the Leprchaun. He tells me to burn things
Ralph Wiggum^^^
=========
Mr. Burns: You're fired.
Marge: You can't fire me just because I'm married. I'm gonna sue the pants off of you.
Mr. Burns: You don't have to sue me to get my pants off.
(Growls)
===========
Lisa and Homer's Mum in the living room singing: "How many roads must a man walk down, before you can call him a man?"
Homer walks in to the room: "SEVEN!"
Lisa: "No dad, it's a rhetorical question"
Homer: "Rhetorical, eh? .... EIGHT!"
============
Bart (to Milhouse, after claiming he never cried): "Yes you do _ you cry when you do long division and have a remainder left over!"
=============
Homer & Ned driving down the road together...
Flanders: "I think you hit something Homer!"
Homer: "Hope it was Flanders! Hehehe!"
============
Australian: That's not a knife. That's a knife!
Bart: That's a spoon.
Australian: Ah, I see you've played knifey Spooney before then!
===========
Bart: [walking into TV room] Hey, guys? Just so you don't hear any
wild rumors, I'm being indicted for fraud in Australia.
Homer: That's no reason to block the TV.
=========
Homer: "Hello, my name is Mr Burns. I believe you have a letter for me..."
Clerk: "Ok Mr Burns, what's your first name?"
Homer: "I... don't know."
===========