Marketing and PR
Chapter 3: Lollywood and Bollywood
How does one develop a brand? This is a perpetual question that players have pondered for decades now, from the original brand of Don Bradman to the modern day Kohli.
As cricket has evolved in the modern era, player brands have evolved too. It is no longer a gentleman’s game. We’re talking about the Afridis, Akhtars, and Akrams who have scaled the Bollywood social scene to develop relationships with the likes of Shahrukh, and the Azharuddins and Kohlis whose love lives catapulted them from cricket superstars to pop culture celebrities.
That is what we are here to teach you at PPCL Academy. Our focus is on creating a brand, a player lobby, social connections with contacts in the Cricket Board, media lobbies to support you when you are dropped from your team, relationships with tabloids whose reporters you can tip off to defame your competitors, and of course, the ability for you to find your very own Anushka Sharma.
Be sure to accept any and all invitations to post-match “get togethers”. Do not be worried of the consequences of coming home late, whether it is from your coach or if you need to go in to bat the fourth innings of a Test Match the following morning. Lack of performance can always be compensated, however, a player’s reputation is irreplaceable.
Look for pairings where you can be matched with a rising star actress. It is very important to tease the tabloids without explicit confirmation or denial. Some ways of doing this are visiting public occurrences together, donating to the same charity, and appearing in the same Head and Shoulders commercials.
Leak pictures to the press regularly, in addition to spicy information that may make the headlines. Soon, you will develop from star player to star icon. We have covered in our other lectures the great need to purchase your very own private island. You will find this helpful here.
Finally, do not lose hope. You will know it is working when you receive a call from the PCB chairman. If you get sued at any point, PPCL Academy would like to clarify that the contents of this lecture are purely advisory and will not take responsibility for any decisions made.
Do not hesitate to reach out to @
Mueez sir for expert advice.
