Host: Lightning Hawks CC's captain, Kingusama92 will be arriving soon to address any questions regarding the bus attacks and the following PPCL investigation results.
*Kingusama92 walks in*
Sky Sports: Let's get into the meaty stuff right away, what do you have to say about the statements from PPCL concerning your involvement in the attacks?
KU: Lalit Modi would be proud of some of the statements that have come out. Logic has flown out the window and now we are watching a flop bollywood script unfold in front of us. Even, Yash Chopra would say, "I am disappoint".
I had no role in getting myself or my team attacked.
Times of India: What do you have to say about Sachin Tendulkar?
KU: Can someone get this clown thrown out of here? What does that have to do with anything?
Cricinfo: PPCL organizers have suggested they have various financial reports backing their claims. Do you have an answer for those?
KU: Please use your common sense. I allegedly made a Rs. 100,000 deal for only Rs. 92. Is that even remotely realistic? Even the chaiwala on the streets laughs at that kind of money, you think Skynet would accept?
Times of India: Sir, can you please tell me about your thoughts on Sachin Tendulkar's Ferrari?
KU: Yes, I wish he drove it through the Times of India building, mate.
BBC: Are you Feeling the Heat from all the Losses?
KU: It's not a pleasant situation. We were expecting to do a lot better, but things have not panned out. Nonetheless, I did not resort to having my own team bus attacked.
Geo: The investigation was supposedly led by Asif Ali Zardari. Kya Yeh Khula Tazaad Nahin?
KU: Sums it up doesn't it? I believe this is a conspiracy against my team. I am a known supporter of PTI and this might be a political move to put me down. A sad attempt by the Jewish, Hindu and American agencies.
Times of India: Sir, are you a fan of Arjun Tendulkar?
KU: Who gave this man a media pass?! You are worse than any bus attack.
Times of India: But, Sir did you like the way Sachin's guard dog walks?
*Cricinfo, BBC, Geo and Sky Sport reporters are now seen beating the Times of India reporter senseless.*
Host: Well, that should wrap up proceedings then.