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    Why revert sisters are preferred in marriage ?

    Well folks, i would like to discuss something on this forum.

    I have noticed that these days many Muslim men look forward to marry revert Muslim women. Now I do not say that there is anything wrong with it , but my discussing here is of two things.

    1. There are many unmarried " born Muslim " women who are steadily going past marriage age, they are not been preferred......

    2. I wonder if all these Muslim Men would be anxious to marry revert sisters who are not whites but blacks?

    Please Discus.


    Fear the Creator ..... not the created.

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by Justcrazy View Post
    Well folks, i would like to discuss something on this forum.

    I have noticed that these days many Muslim men look forward to marry revert Muslim women. Now I do not say that there is anything wrong with it , but my discussing here is of two things.

    1. There are many unmarried " born Muslim " women who are steadily going past marriage age, they are not been preferred......

    2. I wonder if all these Muslim Men would be anxious to marry revert sisters who are not whites but blacks?

    Please Discus.
    By 'revert', do you mean 'converted to Islam'?

    If yes, then did they convert in order to get married (ie their fiances would not marry them otherwise), or had they already converted to Islam before they met their husbands ?

    Depending upon the above, will give you different answers to your question.


    “In individuals, insanity is rare; but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule”

  3. #3
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    Let's be honest, it's not a coincidence if the majority of converts are women, it's just that the boy who wants to marry a gori (generally, as you said rarely Black or East Asian) and use the Islam card to make it possible ("oh, look, we're both Muslims so you - the societal pressure, family, ... - can't do anything without being haram".)
    The same case with women.
    And I know tons of such IRL cases (not from South Asia though apart from few relatives, the Islamic immigrations here being from North Africa and some Sub-saharan Africa) who don't give a laadu about Islam (partying, drinking, ...) but if they spot someone they like, they rapidly know about their deen enough to legitimize their love relationship.

    Sadly, a lot of our co-religionist think that peoples in the Western world convert "en masse" to Islam through a spiritual ataraxia or a sudden mystical discovery of God, whereas, in reality, it's just about inter-racial marriages.

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    I appreciate the response from the above two posters.

    So , do you think that a Muslim man would marry a revert sister , if he finds out she is not a white , but a black. Will they all be looking to marry reverts with zeal of all colors.


    Fear the Creator ..... not the created.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Justcrazy View Post
    I appreciate the response from the above two posters.

    So , do you think that a Muslim man would marry a revert sister , if he finds out she is not a white , but a black. Will they all be looking to marry reverts with zeal of all colors.
    Surely he will know if she's black or white before he finds out her religion?
    He's not marrying her because she's white or black, but because he likes her enough to want her as his wife.

    You're sounding like a 15 year old chatting to someone on the internet, without knowing whether she's white, black, muslim, non-muslim.... and thinking whether you should marry her or not.


    “In individuals, insanity is rare; but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule”

  6. #6
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    I find it very uncomfortable when you call them sisters and then consider them for marriage...

    they can get married to whoever they want. And most "born muslim" girls can't get married is because they've set their standards too high

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    Quote Originally Posted by Down2Earth View Post
    I find it very uncomfortable when you call them sisters and then consider them for marriage...
    same!

    feels so wrong when someone does that.

    Same for the ppl talking badly about women or giving examples of bad things while calling all the women as sisters.

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    OP, can you provide us with some stats or evidence because this is the first time I'm hearing this.
    Some reverts get married pretty early because it is their spouse who advises them about becoming a Muslim.

    You see more white people and desi or Arab couples over here because the majority of reverts are white.


    لَا إِلٰهَ إِلَّا الله مُحَمَّدٌ رَسُولُ الله

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    In the name of Allaah, Most Merciful and Most Beneficent!


    In most cases, where marriage related plays bigger role for reverting them to Islam. Recently, many girls are reverting to Islam due to their acknowledging Islam as true Religion, and they happen to be in Non Muslim places where finding a right guy can be very tough. I would urge our Muslim brothers to think about them if anyone happen to live in North America, Europe and other Non Muslim nations.

    They are very humble, and in most cases, they are, where they want to live as per according to the Laws of Holy Qur'an. They will make good wife, and however, girls in Asia are very hard to adjust with, and at least, in Pakistan where the maintenance of Asian girls is very high. I feel very bad for those who are stuck to these girls. It's better to marry the knowledgeable girls who happen to be revert than non-knowledgeable girls - their false notions.

    That's my opinion. Allaah knows best. I am sure there are some humble girls in Pakistan. In recent policy of immigration, might be decider for marriage proposals.

    As Salaamu Alaykum!

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    Do they ? The question I have is would you still marry her if she had a "past" before she reverted ?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Atif View Post
    Do they ? The question I have is would you still marry her if she had a "past" before she reverted ?
    Everyone has a past, I don't care how holy one pretends to be. Reverts or "born muslims" all have a past...

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    whats the big deal.. some guys like white women some like brown and some like black

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    I think quite a few women convert to Islam before they marry the Muslim man they have falled in love with.

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    The first point you make isn't an issue. As far as I'm aware, Islam is a religion, not a race. A muslim woman is getting married at the end of the day. So that's one less unmarried muslim woman. Doesn't matter if the muslim was a "born muslim" or not. Unless ofcourse, by "born muslim" you meant Asian woman?

    In regards to your first point, skin colour is down to personal preference.

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    1) They are hot/good looking.

    2) And other not so important stuff like education, personality, blah blah.

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    I don't see the issue with that. If that's what someone prefers, it's their choice - I am not sure if we should care at all. I don't see anyone complaining about women's preference in guys.

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    No general answer here...everyone has their own reasons...

    Reverts are individuals who have chosen to follow Islam rather than simply been brought up with it...at times they are seen as being closer to their faith as a result...

    Reverts may be culturally different...it allows Muslims to marry girls from countries that are not predominantly Muslim...a friend of mine is married to a revert who is half Colombian and half Filipino...some guys like girls who are culturally different...

    As for the black revert thing...your attempting to imply that Muslims only go for white reverts...I do see Asian parents being a lot more receptive to a white revert than a black one...and that is for both men and women...be especially harder for a Muslim Asian girl to marry a black revert generally...also culturally preferences in the Asian world may be more white inclined through social construction and this isn't simply limited to South Asians...

    But essentially it comes down to preferences regardless of how they are built and if a guy prefers a blonde, blue eyed revert then thats his choice...much like a guy who prefers his Pakistani born and brought up Muslim...


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  18. #18
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    If looks are the only criteria that men mentioned in OP are using to find a partner than born muslim or revert Muslim, that marriage is likely to fail.
    Last edited by saadibaba; 19th July 2012 at 00:01.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Javelin View Post
    Surely he will know if she's black or white before he finds out her religion?
    He's not marrying her because she's white or black, but because he likes her enough to want her as his wife.

    You're sounding like a 15 year old chatting to someone on the internet, without knowing whether she's white, black, muslim, non-muslim.... and thinking whether you should marry her or not.

    I have seen many Muslim men telling Imams and there friends that they would be interested in marrying reverts .... They give various reasons for that like some say that they want to help reverts in religious aspects, some say that reverts do not demand much dowry etc etc .............

    So What I was asking is that why is it that they assume that revert has to be a white revert , when the Imam or someone recommends a black revert , the communication is stopped and not much zeal is shown......


    Fear the Creator ..... not the created.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Alexander View Post
    The first point you make isn't an issue. As far as I'm aware, Islam is a religion, not a race. A muslim woman is getting married at the end of the day. So that's one less unmarried muslim woman. Doesn't matter if the muslim was a "born muslim" or not. Unless ofcourse, by "born muslim" you meant Asian woman?

    In regards to your first point, skin colour is down to personal preference.

    Yes , a Muslim women is getting married at the end of the day. Please look at my first post , I already mentioned that there is nothing wrong with the idea of marrying a revert.

    What I wanted is a discussion on why do we on PP think that men do prefer the reverts over born Muslim women and more so on white reverts.


    Fear the Creator ..... not the created.


  21. #21
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    ^^^

    Maybe because they want their kids to have white skin, blue eyes, blond hair etc.

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    I don`t know anyone like that

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    Quote Originally Posted by Justcrazy View Post
    [I]
    I have seen many Muslim men telling Imams and there friends that they would be interested in marrying reverts .... They give various reasons for that like some say that they want to help reverts in religious aspects, some say that reverts do not demand much dowry etc etc .............
    '..they would be interested in marrying reverts..' ??

    My advice to any Muslim woman, whether muslim by birth or by converting to Islam, is to stay clear of such men (perverts?)...run away from them as far as possible...they do not want to marry you because of who you are, but because of who you were (ie a non-Muslim before you converted).
    Last edited by Yossarian; 19th July 2012 at 00:21.


    “In individuals, insanity is rare; but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule”

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    I guess it's less likely for you to find a white revert to Islam and that's what makes it more attractive to some guys. BTW I wouldn't marry a black woman because I am not really attracted to them. (No, I am not a racist... this is just my preference)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Javelin View Post
    '..they would be interested in marrying reverts..' ??

    My advice to any Muslim woman, whether muslim by birth or by converting to Islam, is to stay clear of such men (perverts?)...run away from them as far as possible...they do not want to marry you because of who you are, but because of who you were (ie a non-Muslim before you converted).

    Its a good advice , but then how can someone know what is in someones heart???


    Fear the Creator ..... not the created.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Justcrazy View Post
    Well folks, i would like to discuss something on this forum.

    I have noticed that these days many Muslim men look forward to marry revert Muslim women. Now I do not say that there is anything wrong with it , but my discussing here is of two things.

    1. There are many unmarried " born Muslim " women who are steadily going past marriage age, they are not been preferred......

    2. I wonder if all these Muslim Men would be anxious to marry revert sisters who are not whites but blacks?

    Please Discus.
    (Disclaimer: This is my personal view and perception that could be 100% wrong).

    I think it's quite common among colored males to feel attracted towards a white female. (again, I may be wrong) but take a look for example at "Eric Prydz - Call On Me" in Youtube and read a few comments. You will pretty much agree why you may not feel attracted towards a particular female in this video. Personally I got nothing against anyone.

    So may be, just may be, Muslims or Asian males (predominately colored ones) have this very slight mix of lust when they wish to marry a "white" converted female.
    There are couple of other angles too. For Example, some Pakistani males like Indian females. Also, some Indian males find Pakistani girls very attractive.
    Perhaps, by nature we don't value much for things that are easily available and always lean towards the forbidden fruit

    Personally, I am not a big fan of inter racial marriages specially when it involves a colored and a none colored partner. The product is usually "Na teetar na batair".... but hey .. these days .. whatever works for you. In New York, new terms have started to coin up... Blaxican, Blackinese, Maxipino, etc

    I guess there is also some statistic that white race may perhaps go towards a decline, and together with low birth rates, inter racial marriages is one factor contributing towards it.
    Last edited by FusedBulb; 19th July 2012 at 11:48.

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    White Muslim Girls has a aspect of uniqueness. This i believe makes them more attractive.

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    everyone wants something different to what they grew up around. Pakistani men might see white women as interesting.

    While white men often see exotic tanned women as more interesting then white counterparts

  29. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by FusedBulb View Post
    (Disclaimer: This is my personal view and perception that could be 100% wrong).

    I think it's quite common among colored males to feel attracted towards a white female. (again, I may be wrong) but take a look for example at "Eric Prydz - Call On Me" in Youtube and read a few comments. You will pretty much agree why you may not feel attracted towards a particular female in this video. Personally I got nothing against anyone.

    So may be, just may be, Muslims or Asian males (predominately colored ones) have this very slight mix of lust when they wish to marry a "white" converted female.
    There are couple of other angles too. For Example, some Pakistani males like Indian females. Also, some Indian males find Pakistani girls very attractive.
    Perhaps, by nature we don't value much for things that are easily available and always lean towards the forbidden fruit

    Personally, I am not a big fan of inter racial marriages specially when it involves a colored and a none colored partner. The product is usually "Na teetar na batair".... but hey .. these days .. whatever works for you. In New York, new terms have started to coin up... Blaxican, Blackinese, Maxipino, etc

    I guess there is also some statistic that white race may perhaps go towards a decline, and together with low birth rates, inter racial marriages is one factor contributing towards it.

    You are bang on point.


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  30. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by FusedBulb View Post
    (Disclaimer: This is my personal view and perception that could be 100% wrong).

    I think it's quite common among colored males to feel attracted towards a white female. (again, I may be wrong) but take a look for example at "Eric Prydz - Call On Me" in Youtube and read a few comments. You will pretty much agree why you may not feel attracted towards a particular female in this video. Personally I got nothing against anyone.

    So may be, just may be, Muslims or Asian males (predominately colored ones) have this very slight mix of lust when they wish to marry a "white" converted female.
    There are couple of other angles too. For Example, some Pakistani males like Indian females. Also, some Indian males find Pakistani girls very attractive.
    Perhaps, by nature we don't value much for things that are easily available and always lean towards the forbidden fruit

    Personally, I am not a big fan of inter racial marriages specially when it involves a colored and a none colored partner. The product is usually "Na teetar na batair".... but hey .. these days .. whatever works for you. In New York, new terms have started to coin up... Blaxican, Blackinese, Maxipino, etc

    I guess there is also some statistic that white race may perhaps go towards a decline, and together with low birth rates, inter racial marriages is one factor contributing towards it.

    I have observed it too.

    Tons of white females either choose not to have kids or they marry outside of their race.
    Most white females have kids with Black dudes or they marry an Asian Muslim(not often). White females marry not just African Americans, but also people coming from Haiti, Dominican Republic and other African countries.
    All you have to do is go to a local Walmart and see how many blonde haired, blue eyed black kids there are.
    The dominant race in US after 50yrs might as well be black people. Unless the definition of being black is changed, its impossible for white race to survive.

    IMO, White females are very independent and most do not take their parents advice before they marry someone. Our subcontinent females are the opposite.
    Subcontinent men are greedy. They want to keep all their females and also steal from women from white people
    Last edited by mithun_minhas; 19th July 2012 at 20:28.

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    It seems weird to be talking about religion in such superficial terms. Reverts; perverts; converts...what's the big deal about colour? We are talking about people, it's not a discussion about cross-breeding dogs. At least I don't think it is.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cpt. Rishwat View Post
    It seems weird to be talking about religion in such superficial terms. Reverts; perverts; converts...what's the big deal about colour? We are talking about people, it's not a discussion about cross-breeding dogs. At least I don't think it is.
    Where exactly did you find me derogating Human race? reverts is not a cuss word...


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    Quote Originally Posted by Justcrazy View Post

    Its a good advice , but then how can someone know what is in someones heart???
    There was no 'heart' mentioned in your post. According to you, they professed an 'interest' in marrying a particular type of female. Whereas 'What is in someone's heart' implies that they have already met, and fallen in love, with someone.


    Originally Posted by Justcrazy
    I have seen many Muslim men telling Imams and there friends that they would be interested in marrying reverts .... They give various reasons for that like some say that they want to help reverts in religious aspects, some say that reverts do not demand much dowry etc etc .............
    Hence, in my opinion, by stating that they are 'interested' in marrying someone who has converted to Islam (implying that they are looking for someone who fits these requirements), they are only interested in the fact that their potential future bride was a non-Muslim in her past life, as opposed to who she is now.
    Last edited by Yossarian; 20th July 2012 at 01:03.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Justcrazy View Post

    I have seen many Muslim men telling Imams and there friends that they would be interested in marrying reverts .... They give various reasons for that like some say that they want to help reverts in religious aspects, some say that reverts do not demand much dowry etc etc .............

    So What I was asking is that why is it that they assume that revert has to be a white revert , when the Imam or someone recommends a black revert , the communication is stopped and not much zeal is shown......
    This just sounds made up to me

    So you just happen to be sitting beside people having a chat with the Imam about getting married? Aye right

    If on the extremely slim chance this is true then why don't you ask these people that want to marry white reverts what the appeal is?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Geordie Ahmed View Post
    This just sounds made up to me

    So you just happen to be sitting beside people having a chat with the Imam about getting married? Aye right

    If on the extremely slim chance this is true then why don't you ask these people that want to marry white reverts what the appeal is?

    Very true. This is turning out to be one weird thread.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Geordie Ahmed View Post
    This just sounds made up to me

    So you just happen to be sitting beside people having a chat with the Imam about getting married? Aye right

    If on the extremely slim chance this is true then why don't you ask these people that want to marry white reverts what the appeal is?
    This is not made up , if you keep your eyes and ears open you will also observe.

    Well I did ask , and they give many reasons for that which are not convincing.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Justcrazy View Post
    This is not made up , if you keep your eyes and ears open you will also observe.

    Well I did ask , and they give many reasons for that which are not convincing.
    Reminds me of an old Irish joke, which goes something like this:

    Tommy O’Connor went to confession and said, “Forgive me father for I have sinned.”
    Father: “What have you done, Tommy O’Connor?”
    Tommy: “I had intimate relations with a girl.”
    Father: "Who was it, Tommy?”
    Tommy: “I cannot tell you father, please forgive me for my sin.”
    Father: "Was it Mary Margaret Sullivan?”
    Tommy: “No father, please forgive me for my sin but I cannot tell you who it was.”
    Father: “Was it Catherine Mary McKenzie?”
    Tommy: “No father, please forgive me for my sin.”
    Father: “Well then it has to be Sarah Martha O’Keefe.”
    Tommy: “No father, please forgive me, I cannot tell you who it was.”
    Father: "Okay, Tommy go say 5 Hail Mary’s and 4 Our Fathers and ask for forgiveness, but I cannot abolish you of your sins since you will not tell me her name.”

    Tommy walked out of the church, where his friends Joseph and Sean were waiting for him.

    “Well did the Father abolish your sins?” asked Joseph.

    “No, but he gave me 3 good leads for Saturday night! ”


    “In individuals, insanity is rare; but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule”

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    Personal preference TBH


    A man who stands for nothing will fall for anything.

    Malcolm X

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    Quote Originally Posted by Javelin View Post
    Reminds me of an old Irish joke, which goes something like this:

    Tommy OConnor went to confession and said, Forgive me father for I have sinned.
    Father: What have you done, Tommy OConnor?
    Tommy: I had intimate relations with a girl.
    Father: "Who was it, Tommy?
    Tommy: I cannot tell you father, please forgive me for my sin.
    Father: "Was it Mary Margaret Sullivan?
    Tommy: No father, please forgive me for my sin but I cannot tell you who it was.
    Father: Was it Catherine Mary McKenzie?
    Tommy: No father, please forgive me for my sin.
    Father: Well then it has to be Sarah Martha OKeefe.
    Tommy: No father, please forgive me, I cannot tell you who it was.
    Father: "Okay, Tommy go say 5 Hail Marys and 4 Our Fathers and ask for forgiveness, but I cannot abolish you of your sins since you will not tell me her name.

    Tommy walked out of the church, where his friends Joseph and Sean were waiting for him.

    Well did the Father abolish your sins? asked Joseph.

    No, but he gave me 3 good leads for Saturday night!
    What you want to say ? What are you exactly implying at?


    Fear the Creator ..... not the created.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Justcrazy View Post
    What you want to say ? What are you exactly implying at?
    I'm implying that anyone who starts off a conversation about wanting to get married by stating that he is 'interested' in marrying someone who is a convert to Islam (ie was not previously a Muslim), is more interested in the fact his potential wife should be someone who had a previous life as a non-Muslim.

    Why should he be interested in her previous life as opposed to her current life (as a Muslim)?

    Sounds like strange behaviour to me. Either this is just something you made up, or, in my opinion, any such men are the types who look at women as objects of desire, as opposed to women being human beings.


    “In individuals, insanity is rare; but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule”

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    Quote Originally Posted by Javelin View Post
    I'm implying that anyone who starts off a conversation about wanting to get married by stating that he is 'interested' in marrying someone who is a convert to Islam (ie was not previously a Muslim), is more interested in the fact his potential wife should be someone who had a previous life as a non-Muslim.

    Why should he be interested in her previous life as opposed to her current life (as a Muslim)?

    Sounds like strange behaviour to me. Either this is just something you made up, or, in my opinion, any such men are the types who look at women as objects of desire, as opposed to women being human beings.
    Maybe they just want to help out any new reverts, who would find it difficult to get married. For example, somewhat elderly women or women with a history that will deter potential husbands. Not a lot of detail was given by the OP but there are a lot of reasons behind someone asking to be married to a revert.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Bilal7 View Post
    Maybe they just want to help out any new reverts, who would find it difficult to get married.
    Help out?
    They are choosing a partner, someone to share their life with, someone to love and, if possible, have children with.

    Helping out implies doing the lady a favour. I'm sure a lady, who has probably alienated her entire family by choosing to abandon their faith and take the massive step of changing her life and becoming a Muslim instead, will be chuffed to know that the man who wants to marry her is 'helping out' by doing her a favour!


    “In individuals, insanity is rare; but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule”

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    Quote Originally Posted by Javelin View Post
    I'm implying that anyone who starts off a conversation about wanting to get married by stating that he is 'interested' in marrying someone who is a convert to Islam (ie was not previously a Muslim), is more interested in the fact his potential wife should be someone who had a previous life as a non-Muslim.

    Why should he be interested in her previous life as opposed to her current life (as a Muslim)?

    Sounds like strange behaviour to me. Either this is just something you made up, or, in my opinion, any such men are the types who look at women as objects of desire, as opposed to women being human beings.

    I do not understand why you really think I am making up things? Is it so weird? Brother this is happening , trust me.


    As far as your question why someone would be interested in previous life of a lady rather than in present , that is also my question , but in a different way


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    Quote Originally Posted by Javelin View Post
    Help out?
    They are choosing a partner, someone to share their life with, someone to love and, if possible, have children with.

    Helping out implies doing the lady a favour. I'm sure a lady, who has probably alienated her entire family by choosing to abandon their faith and take the massive step of changing her life and becoming a Muslim instead, will be chuffed to know that the man who wants to marry her is 'helping out' by doing her a favour!
    As brother Bilal mentioned that maybe they are looking out to help out the new reverts , my point is that why only white reverts ........... reverts maybe of any nationality or caste , creed , colour ........ all do need help.



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    Quote Originally Posted by Justcrazy View Post

    I have seen many Muslim men telling Imams and there friends that they would be interested in marrying reverts .... They give various reasons for that like some say that they want to help reverts in religious aspects, some say that reverts do not demand much dowry etc etc .............

    So What I was asking is that why is it that they assume that revert has to be a white revert , when the Imam or someone recommends a black revert , the communication is stopped and not much zeal is shown......
    Slmz, well here in SA it's different. You will see majority of Pakistani men married to black women, who they make muslims to be able to marry them. Only Allah swt knows their intention, whether they're attracted to them or not or they simply marry them for citizenship. Many of them have wives in Pakistan too, but Allah knows best. From what i read in this thread it seems to me that here in SA the white women are more harder to 'revert' than the black women. You won't hear of much white women here who revert, recently an ex- Miss SA reverted in Ghaza( Palestine) and it was/is big news. Most might not admit but the 'apartheid' is still very much in the whites who see themselves as inferior to other races which imo is the main reason why there isn't much white reverts here.

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    Quote Originally Posted by SAPakFan View Post
    Slmz, well here in SA it's different. You will see majority of Pakistani men married to black women, who they make muslims to be able to marry them. Only Allah swt knows their intention, whether they're attracted to them or not or they simply marry them for citizenship. Many of them have wives in Pakistan too, but Allah knows best.
    Look at the part in bold. I think you've answered your own question. It was often a similar situation with the early immigrants from Pakistan, where the young men came to England on their own looking for work, whilst the wives stayed back in Pakistan.

    You will also find that most of these black women who marry already married Pakistani's don't know about their wives in Pakistan, whilst their wives and families back in Pakistan don't know about their new wives in SA.
    From what i read in this thread it seems to me that here in SA the white women are more harder to 'revert' than the black women. You won't hear of much white women here who revert, recently an ex- Miss SA reverted in Ghaza( Palestine) and it was/is big news. Most might not admit but the 'apartheid' is still very much in the whites who see themselves as inferior to other races which imo is the main reason why there isn't much white reverts here.
    I'm sure you mean 'superior' and not 'inferior' to other races.

    As for 'white women being harder to revert than black women', in a society like South Africa, with it's apartheid past, and whites in general still enjoying the privileges in society that the years of apartheid endowed upon them, a white women probably does'nt come into contact with muslims as much as people of other colour, and again, due to historical attitudes in SA, it's a much bigger step for her to convert to Islam as compared to a black women.


    “In individuals, insanity is rare; but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule”

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    Quote Originally Posted by SAPakFan View Post
    Slmz, well here in SA it's different. You will see majority of Pakistani men married to black women, who they make muslims to be able to marry them. Only Allah swt knows their intention, whether they're attracted to them or not or they simply marry them for citizenship. Many of them have wives in Pakistan too, but Allah knows best. From what i read in this thread it seems to me that here in SA the white women are more harder to 'revert' than the black women. You won't hear of much white women here who revert, recently an ex- Miss SA reverted in Ghaza( Palestine) and it was/is big news. Most might not admit but the 'apartheid' is still very much in the whites who see themselves as inferior to other races which imo is the main reason why there isn't much white reverts here.
    That is interesting to know..... That is why these kinds of threads are interesting because they uncover different kinds of things and knowledge , sometimes exceptions which we would not be generally aware of in our daily lives. , Though I do feel that might be immigration may be the factor.

    Off Course Allah ( swt ) is the know er of all ..........


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    Quote Originally Posted by Javelin View Post
    Look at the part in bold. I think you've answered your own question. It was often a similar situation with the early immigrants from Pakistan, where the young men came to England on their own looking for work, whilst the wives stayed back in Pakistan.

    You will also find that most of these black women who marry already married Pakistani's don't know about their wives in Pakistan, whilst their wives and families back in Pakistan don't know about their new wives in SA.
    I'm sure you mean 'superior' and not 'inferior' to other races.

    As for 'white women being harder to revert than black women', in a society like South Africa, with it's apartheid past, and whites in general still enjoying the privileges in society that the years of apartheid endowed upon them, a white women probably does'nt come into contact with muslims as much as people of other colour, and again, due to historical attitudes in SA, it's a much bigger step for her to convert to Islam as compared to a black women.
    jee,maaf i did mean superior. White women do come into contact with muslims, maybe not as much as in other countries but it's also that they are more gullible to the media & how the media portrays islam. Yeah it is a bigger step for them to revert to islam as it's not so common among them.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Javelin View Post
    Help out?
    They are choosing a partner, someone to share their life with, someone to love and, if possible, have children with.

    Helping out implies doing the lady a favour. I'm sure a lady, who has probably alienated her entire family by choosing to abandon their faith and take the massive step of changing her life and becoming a Muslim instead, will be chuffed to know that the man who wants to marry her is 'helping out' by doing her a favour!
    Don't imply anything. Read my post in context. They probably want to help out the new reverts by providing them options to get married pretty early. Like you have said yourself, some of these new reverts have been forsaken by their entire family for accepting the truth and thus are probably in a bad financial and social state. No doubt that the men who want to marry them are not going to act like they are doing the reverts a favour. This is a sort of arranged marriage in which love comes later.

    You need to stop thinking that Muslim men want to turn women into slaves or the 'only interested in their past' thing you keep repeating.


    لَا إِلٰهَ إِلَّا الله مُحَمَّدٌ رَسُولُ الله

  50. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bilal7 View Post
    You need to stop thinking that Muslim men want to turn women into slaves or the 'only interested in their past' thing you keep repeating.
    No, not Muslim men. Only those pretending to be Muslims, and who want to 'help out' a Muslim lady by doing her a favour and 'offering' to marry her because they're 'interested' in reverts!
    As I've already said earlier, I would advise Muslim ladies, Muslim by birth or conversion, who may be looking for a life partner, to stay clear of such men and run as far away from them as you can.
    Last edited by Yossarian; 22nd July 2012 at 03:42.


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    Lol they're not prefered at all, most muslim men go for "born-muslim" women but each to his own i guess though .

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    Quote Originally Posted by Javelin View Post
    No, not Muslim men. Only those pretending to be Muslims, and who want to 'help out' a Muslim lady by doing her a favour and 'offering' to marry her because they're 'interested' in reverts!
    As I've already said earlier, I would advise Muslim ladies, Muslim by birth or conversion, who may be looking for a life partner, to stay clear of such men and run as far away from them as you can.
    Can't see why you keep on saying this. The Imams who give their suggestions to the reverts and interested men would know the intentions of both parties and since he is the middle man, he will make sure that the Muslim man is not 'pretending' to be a Muslim Like I said in my last post, for which you had no new response, the men usually have good intentions.

    There are some bad apples to be honest, but you can't judge the whole community because of one or two idiots.


    لَا إِلٰهَ إِلَّا الله مُحَمَّدٌ رَسُولُ الله

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bilal7 View Post
    Can't see why you keep on saying this. The Imams who give their suggestions to the reverts and interested men would know the intentions of both parties and since he is the middle man, he will make sure that the Muslim man is not 'pretending' to be a Muslim Like I said in my last post, for which you had no new response, the men usually have good intentions.

    There are some bad apples to be honest, but you can't judge the whole community because of one or two idiots.
    No, I'm not ignoring your last post.
    I don't care how you, or anyone else puts it. In my book any man who starts off discussions regarding finding a life partner by saying that he is only 'interested' in marrying a 'revert' (ie someone who is not just a muslim lady, but someone who was previously a non-muslim and became a muslim by conversion to Islam), has totally the wrong intentions, and any Imam with a brain should be telling that man to get out of his sight!
    Last edited by Yossarian; 22nd July 2012 at 04:29.


    “In individuals, insanity is rare; but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule”

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    Cant say i've come accross this myself, but if both parties are happy, then what's the problem ?

    Besides, the way some families are so stubborn (i.e. Guy must have a degree, or must be of xyz "caste") i dont blame guys searching for non-Pakistani's.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Javelin View Post
    No, I'm not ignoring your last post.
    I don't care how you, or anyone else puts it. In my book any man who starts off discussions regarding finding a life partner by saying that he is only 'interested' in marrying a 'revert' (ie someone who is not just a muslim lady, but someone who was previously a non-muslim and became a muslim by conversion to Islam), has totally the wrong intentions, and any Imam with a brain should be telling that man to get out of his sight!

    Brother I do understand your point. But you see an Imam just cannot kick someone out if he wants to marry a particular kind of person, it is his free will.

    Now suppose that man does not say that to Imam but when potential brides are shown to him or interested parties are made in contact to him , he can easily reject the ones he does not like or fancy without any reason ..... or maybe with some silly excuse. So .... I guess an Imam has very less to do.


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    Quote Originally Posted by observer1 View Post
    Cant say i've come accross this myself, but if both parties are happy, then what's the problem ?

    Besides, the way some families are so stubborn (i.e. Guy must have a degree, or must be of xyz "caste") i dont blame guys searching for non-Pakistani's.
    Brother , if both parties agree , there is no problem absolutely.

    The question that was asked was not about when both the parties have agreed , the question was that when a person wants to marry a revert , why does he neglect the black reverts, if he wants to help the reverts , then he should help the black ones as well. ......


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    Quote Originally Posted by Justcrazy View Post
    The question that was asked was not about when both the parties have agreed , the question was that when a person wants to marry a revert , why does he neglect the black reverts, if he wants to help the reverts , then he should help the black ones as well. ......
    Many of the top black sportsmen very often have beautiful blonde blue-eyed white girfriends/wives. Black women have commented upon this many times.
    It would appear to be a status symbol amongst these sportsmen "I have arrived, 'cos I now have a white woman", ie He has achieved obtaining something that was previously out of his reach.

    It would appear that, as you have suggested, it's not just 'reverts', but 'white reverts' that the men you mentioned want, something that they feel would normally be beyond their reach, and getting a 'white' wife would be a status symbol for them.


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  58. #58
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    Quote Originally Posted by Javelin View Post
    Many of the top black sportsmen very often have beautiful blonde blue-eyed white girfriends/wives. Black women have commented upon this many times.
    It would appear to be a status symbol amongst these sportsmen "I have arrived, 'cos I now have a white woman", ie He has achieved obtaining something that was previously out of his reach.

    It would appear that, as you have suggested, it's not just 'reverts', but 'white reverts' that the men you mentioned want, something that they feel would normally be beyond their reach, and getting a 'white' wife would be a status symbol for them.
    Exactly ... That may be one of the reasons.

    You see , I have asked Muslim men who want to marry reverts. They say that the reverts follow Islam better , or sometimes the reason is that they would be guided better by me. But those reasons are also true for black reverts. ......

    If you want to marry a white lady ....... be a MAN and tell that, nothing wrong with that. Why make excuses , whom are you trying to fool?


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    Quote Originally Posted by Justcrazy View Post
    Exactly ... That may be one of the reasons.

    You see , I have asked Muslim men who want to marry reverts. They say that the reverts follow Islam better , or sometimes the reason is that they would be guided better by me. But those reasons are also true for black reverts. ......

    If you want to marry a white lady ....... be a MAN and tell that, nothing wrong with that. Why make excuses , whom are you trying to fool?
    Now you understand why I feel disgusted by these types of hypocritical men and would advise women to not consider any marriage proposals from such men. As you have now figured out, the attraction is not that they are brave women who have taken the massive step of forsaking their previous lives and embracing Islam, but rather the fact that they are 'white'.


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    Justcrazy...

    Lol you had in mind what answer you were looking for clearly...you actually sound like one of those black women who moans about how a black man goes out with white women...

    The trophy element is one possible reason why a man might marry outside of his race but essentially that was the answer you were looking for so you don't seem interested in other perspectives...

    You sound peeved in the EDL way where these reverts are stealing all Muslim men and now deciding that all their relationships are built on negative premises...

    Reverts generally have a good reputation...they have had to sacrifice something most likely to enter the Islamic faith...at some point they realised the futility of their ways and made an educated choice over Islam...when you are born into a faith you rarely have to do that...to change ones faith shows how one prioritises conviction in an idea over what other people may think of them...

    One may not find girls from ones own race as attractive as another...or they may find difference in culture appealing...there might be social constructionist theories as to why these preferences exist but Asians are always very quick to say they don't prefer black women cos its their preference...some might prefer blondes or orientals...its no different from a guy who wants to marry an Indonesian or Malaysian...its a criteria not the only criteria that a Muslim may want...

    But it seems you would prefer to just think every Muslim who marries a revert has a sinister reason or has something to feel ashamed of...its not a new attitude...I have seen this attitude when a Muslim girl dates or marries a black or white Muslim before...


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    Quote Originally Posted by FusedBulb View Post
    Personally, I am not a big fan of inter racial marriages specially when it involves a colored and a none colored partner.
    Sorry.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Javelin View Post
    Now you understand why I feel disgusted by these types of hypocritical men and would advise women to not consider any marriage proposals from such men. As you have now figured out, the attraction is not that they are brave women who have taken the massive step of forsaking their previous lives and embracing Islam, but rather the fact that they are 'white'.

    Yes, I agree with most of what you have said. But the thing is that it is not possible for a revert to know , that the person who is interested in her is only for a certain reason , which he is hiding under cover of many excuses.... he is been sly


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    when i read the title i thought "revert sisters" was some sort of muslim fantasy lol

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    This one of those threads that mix culture with religion

    For the record i can see the attraction but i can see the pitfalls too, the op has been levelled at many ex cricketing captains


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    Quote Originally Posted by shaykh1985 View Post
    Justcrazy...

    Lol you had in mind what answer you were looking for clearly...you actually sound like one of those black women who moans about how a black man goes out with white women...

    That is just an assumption on your part , I am not a woman or a Black


    The trophy element is one possible reason why a man might marry outside of his race but essentially that was the answer you were looking for so you don't seem interested in other perspectives...


    I am interested in other perspectives , that is why I have made this thread....... I am not saying that that is THE REASON....... its just that it is one of the reasons.


    You sound peeved in the EDL way where these reverts are stealing all Muslim men and now deciding that all their relationships are built on negative premises...

    The question is not about Reverts stealing muslim men , the question is about Muslim Men who are interested to marry reverts in first place generally assuming that a revert would be a White , which is not true in all cases.


    Reverts generally have a good reputation...they have had to sacrifice something most likely to enter the Islamic faith...at some point they realised the futility of their ways and made an educated choice over Islam...when you are born into a faith you rarely have to do that...to change ones faith shows how one prioritises conviction in an idea over what other people may think of them...

    It is true also the other way, for a Born Muslim to keep himself / herself in the fold of Islam and not to become a a non practicing Muslim also requires a lot of effort and sacrifices.



    One may not find girls from ones own race as attractive as another...or they may find difference in culture appealing...there might be social constructionist theories as to why these preferences exist but Asians are always very quick to say they don't prefer black women cos its their preference...some might prefer blondes or orientals...its no different from a guy who wants to marry an Indonesian or Malaysian...its a criteria not the only criteria that a Muslim may want...

    But it seems you would prefer to just think every Muslim who marries a revert has a sinister reason or has something to feel ashamed of...its not a new attitude...I have seen this attitude when a Muslim girl dates or marries a black or white Muslim before...

    I have never said that a person who marries a revert should be ashamed ...... I was just asking here about the reasons why reverted sisters are preferred, and then it is assumed that they would be white.


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    The thread looks like it is closed


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    No one around any more ?


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    Trying to revive a forgotten thread


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    Quote Originally Posted by Justcrazy View Post
    Trying to revive a forgotten thread
    Aptly proving your username:Just Crazy

  70. #70
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    What is crazy about reviving a thread ???


    Fear the Creator ..... not the created.

  71. #71
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    Justcrazyyyy says hello to the thread


    Fear the Creator ..... not the created.

  72. #72
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    Personally, I think this is something that should be discussed so I am glad it is unlocked. We all have our preferences but it doesn't hurt to dig a little deeper into our psyche and examine WHY we prefer such things.

    Most non-white men hold white women in high regard, as they are the universal standard of beauty (per the global media). Just look into every minority community, all of the successful female celebrities look like white women. Muslim men are still men, and will still fall into the mentality of thinking white women are a prize. It is ingrained into humanity now, religion doesn't free one from this type of thinking.

  73. #73
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    My perception was overall women who have converted to Islam aren't preferred by Muslims. Although I acknowledge the fact that many Muslim men do regard white women in a high colossus, I believe the main reason for this is the general consensus that they have more beauty (because of the media's portrayal of them and are thought of as being more exclusive than black reverts. However, I am of the view that in Muslim communities, the family is a closely-knit affair. Therefore, when the Muslim man is going to get married he often consults upon his family and often marries who his parents want him to marry. (Note that I am not referring to arranged marriages but instead ones which involve the participant's choice being approved of by the parents.) As a consequence, I believe that many Muslim parents desire to marry their child in a respectable family and ones who are born Muslims rather than reverts. I think the main reason why Muslim parents do not wish for their children to be married to black women reverts is because black people are usually perceived as being poor, people who sell drugs, violent and people who have relations to gangs. I find that this isn't just a Muslim viewpoint but one that society has endowed upon itself by allowing the media to indoctrinate people with these judgmental perceptions and allowed them to incite hatred. On the other hand, I believe that Muslim parents do not want their child to get married to a white revert because white women, especially in South Asian Muslim mindsets, are perceived as having a troubled past of the usual malarkey (e.g. numerous boyfriends, drinking, partying). Furthermore, as per South Asian Muslim customs, the marriage often has an obligation of two participating families. Therefore, often if the women side of the family disagrees (because her family has different views on inter-racial marriages etc), the marriage will not take place as it is the majority of traditional South Asian parents that the woman's parents are considered to be responsible for the woman.

    Despite this, I find that many Muslim men choose to go against the family's rulings and these are the people who become extremely isolated from any external family. This is because the dominant male in a family often believes that through the non-participation of them in their son's marriage, they have brought shame upon the family and the usual sorts of similar statements begin to appear.

    On to the point that several have made that white women are more desirable, I believe it is because white women are seen more as a shrine of beauty rather than black women. In addition, many have declared that some Muslim men choose to marry the women because they 'want to help them'. In my opinion, I don't believe this is really a plausible suggestion because if the men really want to help these women reverts, they should do it on a equal basis between black and white women and no personal preference of beauty should come into place. Anyway, I find that converts (of any faith) are more likely to be more devout in their religion than the majority of born Muslims because they have been so attracted by the religion or have completely agreed with its viewpoints, that they want to follow the religion in every aspect.

  74. #74
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    Quote Originally Posted by Justcrazy View Post
    Well folks, i would like to discuss something on this forum.

    I have noticed that these days many Muslim men look forward to marry revert Muslim women. Now I do not say that there is anything wrong with it , but my discussing here is of two things.

    1. There are many unmarried " born Muslim " women who are steadily going past marriage age, they are not been preferred......

    2. I wonder if all these Muslim Men would be anxious to marry revert sisters who are not whites but blacks?

    Please Discus.
    Why call them sisters in the context of marrying them ?


    Laughing Faces Don't Mean Absence Of Sorrow. It Means That They Have The Ability To Deal With It

  75. #75
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    Quote Originally Posted by Garuda View Post
    Why call them sisters in the context of marrying them ?
    Exactly the thought which came to my mind. Why would anyone marry someone whom he calls "sister"?

  76. #76
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nitin Tomer View Post
    Exactly the thought which came to my mind. Why would anyone marry someone whom he calls "sister"?
    Its pervert not revert.


    They drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience!!

  77. #77
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    In the UK around 70%+ people who convert to islam are women, and its a huge misconception that most of them convert due to wanting to be with a muslim man they love. In fact at uni during islamic awareness week there were many lectures on islam open to the public and most of the non muslims who attended the lectures were women, they just happen to be more open minded then men. Also i have a mate who married a gori and he did not insist on his wife converting to islam but she did so with her own will after studying the faith.

    I dont know anything of the popularity of reverts being preffered in marriage, but one would say that reverts can be the best of muslims these days hence why men prefer to marry them over women who are born muslim.


    Ah, so this is what it feels like

  78. #78
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nitin Tomer View Post
    Exactly the thought which came to my mind. Why would anyone marry someone whom he calls "sister"?
    Its sister in islam its just a way of showing respect and a way of preventing intimacy betweem opposite sex, but obvious of they want to marry its cool not as if they are brother and sis in real life :/ bloody ell bro


    Ah, so this is what it feels like

  79. #79
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    Quote Originally Posted by Supporter of Pak legends View Post
    My perception was overall women who have converted to Islam aren't preferred by Muslims. Although I acknowledge the fact that many Muslim men do regard white women in a high colossus, I believe the main reason for this is the general consensus that they have more beauty (because of the media's portrayal of them and are thought of as being more exclusive than black reverts. However, I am of the view that in Muslim communities, the family is a closely-knit affair. Therefore, when the Muslim man is going to get married he often consults upon his family and often marries who his parents want him to marry. (Note that I am not referring to arranged marriages but instead ones which involve the participant's choice being approved of by the parents.) As a consequence, I believe that many Muslim parents desire to marry their child in a respectable family and ones who are born Muslims rather than reverts. I think the main reason why Muslim parents do not wish for their children to be married to black women reverts is because black people are usually perceived as being poor, people who sell drugs, violent and people who have relations to gangs. I find that this isn't just a Muslim viewpoint but one that society has endowed upon itself by allowing the media to indoctrinate people with these judgmental perceptions and allowed them to incite hatred. On the other hand, I believe that Muslim parents do not want their child to get married to a white revert because white women, especially in South Asian Muslim mindsets, are perceived as having a troubled past of the usual malarkey (e.g. numerous boyfriends, drinking, partying). Furthermore, as per South Asian Muslim customs, the marriage often has an obligation of two participating families. Therefore, often if the women side of the family disagrees (because her family has different views on inter-racial marriages etc), the marriage will not take place as it is the majority of traditional South Asian parents that the woman's parents are considered to be responsible for the woman.

    Despite this, I find that many Muslim men choose to go against the family's rulings and these are the people who become extremely isolated from any external family. This is because the dominant male in a family often believes that through the non-participation of them in their son's marriage, they have brought shame upon the family and the usual sorts of similar statements begin to appear.

    On to the point that several have made that white women are more desirable, I believe it is because white women are seen more as a shrine of beauty rather than black women. In addition, many have declared that some Muslim men choose to marry the women because they 'want to help them'. In my opinion, I don't believe this is really a plausible suggestion because if the men really want to help these women reverts, they should do it on a equal basis between black and white women and no personal preference of beauty should come into place. Anyway, I find that converts (of any faith) are more likely to be more devout in their religion than the majority of born Muslims because they have been so attracted by the religion or have completely agreed with its viewpoints, that they want to follow the religion in every aspect.
    Good post, showing the other side of the argument.

  80. #80
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nitin Tomer View Post
    Exactly the thought which came to my mind. Why would anyone marry someone whom he calls "sister"?
    The Abrahamic faiths tend to acknowledge males and females as "brothers and sisters" in the eyes of God. Yes we are talking about individuals that we would potentially marry, but placing the title "sister" or "brother" upon them is supposed to make it so that you acknowledge this individual in the Godly sense first. I hope that makes sense lol...


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