Instagram

An evening with Shahid Afridi and Younis Khan

Sohail Speaks Yasir's Blog Fazeer's Focus

User Tag List

Page 3 of 3 FirstFirst 123
Results 161 to 201 of 201
  1. #161
    Debut
    Jan 2010
    Runs
    30,597
    Mentioned
    530 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)
    Youre too much of a beg & coming across as a stalker.

    Go on tinder worldwide find someone who looks like her & this time be more likr Bond, James Bond .


    Lions don't lose sleep over the opinions of Sheep

  2. #162
    Debut
    Feb 2006
    Runs
    27,950
    Mentioned
    252 Post(s)
    Tagged
    5 Thread(s)
    I literally have disowned all my khalas, phuppos and uncles. When I first came to Canada 6 years ago, I was very open minded, loving, non judgemental and would call and stay in touch with everyone a few times every week and was okay with talking about everything under the sun with them.

    But these people have only destroyed my confidence, self esteem with constantly reminding me of every negative thing going on in my life ie being unemployed when I didn't have a job in my field, not earning a high salary, struggling, and the constant references to my age and the taunts of "best one's get taken early".

    These people behind the scenes constantly lobby to my folks about girls in their immediate, distant families or friends circle in Canada or the US who are in their late 20's, early to mid 30's whose parents have been desperately trying to find rishtas for them. These guys know that I am only interested in someone else which is 99% not happening but they don't really give a **** about my emotional well being or state of mind, they just want to desperately try to convince my folks to force me to agree to the girls in their families with absolutely zero regard for me not being interested

    I have cut these people off big time and no longer pick up their phone calls and only meet them whenever there are family gatherings

    Of late I am now realizing that maybe I need to rethink my perspective on getting involved with goris especially if Pakistani girls are always tough to pursue. I mean Imran Khan and Wasim Akram did it, why should I restrict myself?

  3. #163
    Debut
    Sep 2007
    Venue
    Unknown
    Runs
    7,099
    Mentioned
    17 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Savak View Post
    I literally have disowned all my khalas, phuppos and uncles. When I first came to Canada 6 years ago, I was very open minded, loving, non judgemental and would call and stay in touch with everyone a few times every week and was okay with talking about everything under the sun with them.

    But these people have only destroyed my confidence, self esteem with constantly reminding me of every negative thing going on in my life ie being unemployed when I didn't have a job in my field, not earning a high salary, struggling, and the constant references to my age and the taunts of "best one's get taken early".

    These people behind the scenes constantly lobby to my folks about girls in their immediate, distant families or friends circle in Canada or the US who are in their late 20's, early to mid 30's whose parents have been desperately trying to find rishtas for them. These guys know that I am only interested in someone else which is 99% not happening but they don't really give a **** about my emotional well being or state of mind, they just want to desperately try to convince my folks to force me to agree to the girls in their families with absolutely zero regard for me not being interested

    I have cut these people off big time and no longer pick up their phone calls and only meet them whenever there are family gatherings

    Of late I am now realizing that maybe I need to rethink my perspective on getting involved with goris especially if Pakistani girls are always tough to pursue. I mean Imran Khan and Wasim Akram did it, why should I restrict myself?
    Its good that you have cut off negative people from your life. Only bitter/gire hue neech relatives taunt their cousins on regular basis - think them as bully. Its a major desi problem where everyone feels its their right to interfere in someone’s life. I mean you are not a kid anymore and them taunting you about being single or whatever was pure evil and uncalled for. I like the concept of individualistic society where you are responsible for your life and second person rarely pings you.

    And about meeting a gori or kaali doesn’t matter unless both parties click and take off.

  4. #164
    Debut
    Feb 2015
    Venue
    Karachi/NYC
    Runs
    22,430
    Mentioned
    1246 Post(s)
    Tagged
    7 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Savak View Post
    I literally have disowned all my khalas, phuppos and uncles. When I first came to Canada 6 years ago, I was very open minded, loving, non judgemental and would call and stay in touch with everyone a few times every week and was okay with talking about everything under the sun with them.

    But these people have only destroyed my confidence, self esteem with constantly reminding me of every negative thing going on in my life ie being unemployed when I didn't have a job in my field, not earning a high salary, struggling, and the constant references to my age and the taunts of "best one's get taken early".

    These people behind the scenes constantly lobby to my folks about girls in their immediate, distant families or friends circle in Canada or the US who are in their late 20's, early to mid 30's whose parents have been desperately trying to find rishtas for them. These guys know that I am only interested in someone else which is 99% not happening but they don't really give a **** about my emotional well being or state of mind, they just want to desperately try to convince my folks to force me to agree to the girls in their families with absolutely zero regard for me not being interested

    I have cut these people off big time and no longer pick up their phone calls and only meet them whenever there are family gatherings

    Of late I am now realizing that maybe I need to rethink my perspective on getting involved with goris especially if Pakistani girls are always tough to pursue. I mean Imran Khan and Wasim Akram did it, why should I restrict myself?
    Nice to see you cut off negative energy

    But lol at Pakistani girls being tough to pursue but gori girls being not.

  5. #165
    Debut
    Jul 2006
    Venue
    Dubai, UAE
    Runs
    1,083
    Mentioned
    5 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    With regards to the age gap, I will make a generalization. Girls who are interested in older men are so because they are attracted to their maturity. However, despite being older than her you don't come across as mature at all. It is probably one of the reasons why you get along well with girls younger than you. You come across as someone who is very immature and do not know how women folk think / work (not that there is a general formula). It's either that or you troll everyone on PP every six months ;)

    With regards to your question? How can you force someone to marry you. Educated families dont just marry of their daughters to someone if a very good rishta comes through arranged route. At the end of the day, as parents happiness of their daughter trumps the good status of potential groom. Hence they will not go for it if the girl says she is not interested.

  6. #166
    Debut
    Aug 2018
    Runs
    68
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Sir listen first, you always wnt to marry a gud girl nah ? Do you really want to marry a gurl who rejects wedding offers ? These Western people who push their bad views such as girl having a say in marriage doesn't suit our lifestyle.

  7. #167
    Debut
    Aug 2018
    Runs
    68
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by kaayal View Post
    I don’t understand why Savak thinks that these 22yr old’s should “like him” like the way he does?? They also have a life, they might be attracted towards more younger handsome established males than him. He is thinking only from his point of view and is projecting her as some trophy wife/a catch than a life partner. Sorry to say but you deserve to be get dumped here. Respect the girl’s opinion too sometimes.
    DO you not watch South Indian movies ? Its a guy's job to harass women till they fall in love, he never takes "no" for an answer. Guy twice the age of the actress ? CHECK, guy UGLY as heck and has no chance in real life ? CHECK. Only problem here is Savak might not be macho enough and I'd suggest Savak creates an impression of him that he isn't on FB and Instagram, post macho pictures, takes few pictures with random white girls and makes himself look like a cool guy. I'm ugly as heck, if it works for me, it should for for him. BRB got 4th tinder date in 9th day today.

  8. #168
    Debut
    Feb 2006
    Runs
    27,950
    Mentioned
    252 Post(s)
    Tagged
    5 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Little Master View Post
    With regards to the age gap, I will make a generalization. Girls who are interested in older men are so because they are attracted to their maturity. However, despite being older than her you don't come across as mature at all. It is probably one of the reasons why you get along well with girls younger than you. You come across as someone who is very immature and do not know how women folk think / work (not that there is a general formula). It's either that or you troll everyone on PP every six months ;)

    With regards to your question? How can you force someone to marry you. Educated families dont just marry of their daughters to someone if a very good rishta comes through arranged route. At the end of the day, as parents happiness of their daughter trumps the good status of potential groom. Hence they will not go for it if the girl says she is not interested.
    You can't just judge someone's intellect or maturity level just based on his struggles or issues with the opposite sex. In fact if you put aside that for a second, vast majority of people in my friends circle and family consider me very intellectual on historical, political and general affairs.

    There is no hard and fast rule as far as women are concerned, i know of couples who dated for 6 plus years but ended things when one partner was unable to convince her/his parents and eventually both gave up and moved on.

    I also know of a few girls who weren't super interested in the guy whose parents, intermediaries suggested them to the girls parents but the girls in question were not at liberty to say no or dismiss the guys without actually giving the folks a very good reason or speaking/meeting the guy first.

    Then i have friends who were as clueless about girls as i was but were blessed with the good fortune where they got help from others who hooked them up selflessly with their love interests or where the girl immediately reciprocated.

    Unfortunately it appears i am indeed cursed

  9. #169
    Debut
    May 2010
    Venue
    Australia
    Runs
    1,056
    Mentioned
    8 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Savak View Post
    You can't just judge someone's intellect or maturity level just based on his struggles or issues with the opposite sex. In fact if you put aside that for a second, vast majority of people in my friends circle and family consider me very intellectual on historical, political and general affairs.

    There is no hard and fast rule as far as women are concerned, i know of couples who dated for 6 plus years but ended things when one partner was unable to convince her/his parents and eventually both gave up and moved on.

    I also know of a few girls who weren't super interested in the guy whose parents, intermediaries suggested them to the girls parents but the girls in question were not at liberty to say no or dismiss the guys without actually giving the folks a very good reason or speaking/meeting the guy first.

    Then i have friends who were as clueless about girls as i was but were blessed with the good fortune where they got help from others who hooked them up selflessly with their love interests or where the girl immediately reciprocated.

    Unfortunately it appears i am indeed cursed
    I think what he means is your lack of intelligence when it comes to social awareness. Which is how you come across in your posts, even in your last post you say you are cursed rather then understanding the fault in your views held on marriage and women in general.

  10. #170
    Debut
    Feb 2006
    Runs
    27,950
    Mentioned
    252 Post(s)
    Tagged
    5 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by humzy View Post
    I think what he means is your lack of intelligence when it comes to social awareness. Which is how you come across in your posts, even in your last post you say you are cursed rather then understanding the fault in your views held on marriage and women in general.
    Women are indeed a mystery to me, they do things which do not make sense to the logical mind. For instance why would a girl dump a nice sweet respectful guy and choose to marry a guy who is bossy, disrespectful to her and even physically beats her up?

    Things like this will not make sense to anyone on planet earth

  11. #171
    Debut
    May 2010
    Venue
    Australia
    Runs
    1,056
    Mentioned
    8 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Savak View Post
    Women are indeed a mystery to me, they do things which do not make sense to the logical mind. For instance why would a girl dump a nice sweet respectful guy and choose to marry a guy who is bossy, disrespectful to her and even physically beats her up?

    Things like this will not make sense to anyone on planet earth
    its pretty basic when looking at it in evolutionary terms.

    Men were protectors whilst women were nurturers of the children.

    If war or other tribes came then only the stronger males would have the ability to fight back.

    Strongest males = Alpha males = had the pick of the women

    This is imprinted in a females DNA, women unconsciously look for the strongest most fearless men.

    Niceness and sweetness is not a trait which helps with protection. However a bossy/arrogant and physically impressive man holds the traits needed to protect a family and be a leader amongst other men.

    Women don't love you, they love your traits that will help protect them and what they truly love (their children).

  12. #172
    Debut
    May 2010
    Venue
    UK
    Runs
    23,743
    Mentioned
    208 Post(s)
    Tagged
    6 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Savak View Post
    I literally have disowned all my khalas, phuppos and uncles. When I first came to Canada 6 years ago, I was very open minded, loving, non judgemental and would call and stay in touch with everyone a few times every week and was okay with talking about everything under the sun with them.

    But these people have only destroyed my confidence, self esteem with constantly reminding me of every negative thing going on in my life ie being unemployed when I didn't have a job in my field, not earning a high salary, struggling, and the constant references to my age and the taunts of "best one's get taken early".

    These people behind the scenes constantly lobby to my folks about girls in their immediate, distant families or friends circle in Canada or the US who are in their late 20's, early to mid 30's whose parents have been desperately trying to find rishtas for them. These guys know that I am only interested in someone else which is 99% not happening but they don't really give a **** about my emotional well being or state of mind, they just want to desperately try to convince my folks to force me to agree to the girls in their families with absolutely zero regard for me not being interested

    I have cut these people off big time and no longer pick up their phone calls and only meet them whenever there are family gatherings

    Of late I am now realizing that maybe I need to rethink my perspective on getting involved with goris especially if Pakistani girls are always tough to pursue. I mean Imran Khan and Wasim Akram did it, why should I restrict myself?
    The goris are going to judge you on standards same as desi ones will. Only difference being you won't be able to browbeat them into submission through family or social pressure because they are less susceptible to those things as arranged marriage is not part of their culture. But if you can impress a super hot younger gori, then why don't you just go ahead and do it? Usually they aren't going to be interested in the needy low confidence type either though, so be patient.


    I for one welcome our new In____ overlords - Kent Brockman

  13. #173
    Debut
    Mar 2010
    Runs
    25,653
    Mentioned
    4517 Post(s)
    Tagged
    23 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Savak View Post
    I literally have disowned all my khalas, phuppos and uncles. When I first came to Canada 6 years ago, I was very open minded, loving, non judgemental and would call and stay in touch with everyone a few times every week and was okay with talking about everything under the sun with them.

    But these people have only destroyed my confidence, self esteem with constantly reminding me of every negative thing going on in my life ie being unemployed when I didn't have a job in my field, not earning a high salary, struggling, and the constant references to my age and the taunts of "best one's get taken early".

    These people behind the scenes constantly lobby to my folks about girls in their immediate, distant families or friends circle in Canada or the US who are in their late 20's, early to mid 30's whose parents have been desperately trying to find rishtas for them. These guys know that I am only interested in someone else which is 99% not happening but they don't really give a **** about my emotional well being or state of mind, they just want to desperately try to convince my folks to force me to agree to the girls in their families with absolutely zero regard for me not being interested

    I have cut these people off big time and no longer pick up their phone calls and only meet them whenever there are family gatherings

    Of late I am now realizing that maybe I need to rethink my perspective on getting involved with goris especially if Pakistani girls are always tough to pursue. I mean Imran Khan and Wasim Akram did it, why should I restrict myself?
    Goris are seen as high maintenance in the UK at times especially by their own, you see many older white guys order brides from east asia. Meanwhile all the black guys pull the goris that are left and the two are generally very attracted to each other until the gori ends up as a single mom. Pakistani's have enjoyed a lot of success with goris, but the black man is more over in the present time period. Perhaps in the US and Canada it's different. Beyond that, I wouldn't say they are easy to seduce then again not everyone is; have you ever been interested in Indian women?


    Ah, so this is what it feels like

  14. #174
    Debut
    Aug 2018
    Runs
    68
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Savak View Post
    Women are indeed a mystery to me, they do things which do not make sense to the logical mind. For instance why would a girl dump a nice sweet respectful guy and choose to marry a guy who is bossy, disrespectful to her and even physically beats her up?

    Things like this will not make sense to anyone on planet earth
    First of all brother, women and men are different people. Men in general are attracted by looks, while the women are attracted to strong characters.. For 100,000s of years women were depended on men for survival. The strongest and boldest men had the best survival rate, this is the men that women had children with. The ability to fend of a lion is not necessary, but you should stand up for yourself, be bold, approach any man or women without no fear it shows confidence and this is what women are attracted to.

    Look at Imran Khan, he is an alpha, he is a leader, powerful, humble and very well respected. In the jungle, Imran Khan would have done well. Now look at someone like Forrest Gump character, he wouldn't have survived in the jungle. Girls like bad boys, because they have the necessary attractive trait, confidence, risk taking ability, generally tall and big.

  15. #175
    Debut
    Aug 2018
    Runs
    68
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Cpt. Rishwat View Post
    The goris are going to judge you on standards same as desi ones will. Only difference being you won't be able to browbeat them into submission through family or social pressure because they are less susceptible to those things as arranged marriage is not part of their culture. But if you can impress a super hot younger gori, then why don't you just go ahead and do it? Usually they aren't going to be interested in the needy low confidence type either though, so be patient.
    As a brown guy, white girls are the easiest to pick up. This is because they almost always judge you based on your race, any thing mild you out of your assigned race traits(sounds cringy I know) will make you look cool.

  16. #176
    Debut
    Aug 2018
    Runs
    68
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by shaz619 View Post
    Goris are seen as high maintenance in the UK at times especially by their own, you see many older white guys order brides from east asia. Meanwhile all the black guys pull the goris that are left and the two are generally very attracted to each other until the gori ends up as a single mom. Pakistani's have enjoyed a lot of success with goris, but the black man is more over in the present time period. Perhaps in the US and Canada it's different. Beyond that, I wouldn't say they are easy to seduce then again not everyone is; have you ever been interested in Indian women?
    Yup, black guys are chopping white, asian, south asian and Latino women as of right now. Only Middle-Eastern men are safe at the moment. I swear black guys get a way with lot of things that we can't do.
    Black guy checking a girl out = He was eyeing be down
    Brown guy checking a girl out = He was creeping me out

  17. #177
    Debut
    Feb 2006
    Runs
    27,950
    Mentioned
    252 Post(s)
    Tagged
    5 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Realromeo View Post
    First of all brother, women and men are different people. Men in general are attracted by looks, while the women are attracted to strong characters.. For 100,000s of years women were depended on men for survival. The strongest and boldest men had the best survival rate, this is the men that women had children with. The ability to fend of a lion is not necessary, but you should stand up for yourself, be bold, approach any man or women without no fear it shows confidence and this is what women are attracted to.

    Look at Imran Khan, he is an alpha, he is a leader, powerful, humble and very well respected. In the jungle, Imran Khan would have done well. Now look at someone like Forrest Gump character, he wouldn't have survived in the jungle. Girls like bad boys, because they have the necessary attractive trait, confidence, risk taking ability, generally tall and big.
    So does this mean every guy on this planet who managed to find a girl by himself is an Alpha Male in comparison to those who didn't?

    This alpha male talk cannot be completely true.

    Also IK was not a very social animal. If you analyze his body language in ceremonies, functions you can see he is very shy. But he was blessed with incredible once in a life time global good looks that women were enticed to come to him. His superstar status in the sport and natural leadership qualities helped no doubt as well.

    There can only be one IK

  18. #178
    Debut
    Aug 2016
    Venue
    Islamabad, Pakistan.
    Runs
    6,245
    Mentioned
    132 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    @Savak honestly speaking, I would suggest that you forget about this girl, block her from your Facebook and all other social media and try to distance yourself a shame much as you can from the mere thought of her existence.

    As someone with considerable experience of mingling with the opposite sex, I would suggest that the best nets thing for you to do as of now would be to firstly get rid off this boogeyman that you have when it comes to approaching girls. Stop being scared. You're living in the Western world, you have the access of dating websites, social events, rapid fire dating programs and most of all, Tinder. Believe you me, Tinder is going to Ben your best friend right now. Set up a profile on Tinder and try to match with as many girls as you can. It is not necessary that you get into sexual relationships with these girls but going on dates and making conversation is going to help you BIG time, especially in the long run.

    Secondly, you have a lot going for you, you come from a well-off family, you're in the peak age of the male bravado where the testosterone in men really kicks in and this is when we look best, you have a good job, you sound like an intelligent guy and you frequent the gym. Understand that you are not below anyone. Your personality and victim attitude is the only thing pulling you back HOWEVER, that can not change, it is not permanent.

    Thirdly, if you don't already, start dressing up properly, fix your posture, focus a lot on what you wear, always smell good, carry a good EDC with you and most of all, style your hair everyday. Men who consider themselves not so good looking can make a change worth galaxies by these simple things. Google and the internet will be your best coach, so please don't waste money on scammers.

  19. #179
    Debut
    Jan 2010
    Runs
    9,688
    Mentioned
    46 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Since you started this nearly 3 weeks ago... have you explicitly asked the girl?

    I presume it's a no. Therein lies your problem, get it over with and stop wasting your time.

    I find that you have no empathy for girls who are around your age group. You are very dismissive and have been very disparaging about them in this thread and also in the past. To me it seems that this is your best option and is staring you in the face but you are adamant on going on a wild goose chases continuously and failing. Have you ever delved deeply into your thought process and why you want girls that are much much younger? If the answer is looks then you should know that looks fade over time but the personality does not.

    You need help, take advice of @Donal_Cozie and seek out a qualified therapist.

  20. #180
    Debut
    Aug 2018
    Runs
    68
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Savak View Post
    So does this mean every guy on this planet who managed to find a girl by himself is an Alpha Male in comparison to those who didn't?

    This alpha male talk cannot be completely true.

    Also IK was not a very social animal. If you analyze his body language in ceremonies, functions you can see he is very shy. But he was blessed with incredible once in a life time global good looks that women were enticed to come to him. His superstar status in the sport and natural leadership qualities helped no doubt as well.

    There can only be one IK
    You don't need to be an alpha to get women bro. It is never about what you say, it is about how you say brother. Look at the body language of Jasprit Bumrah and Pujara, they look soft, nerdy and very awkward if they weren't cricketers, you think girls will have any attraction towards them ? Now look at someone like Rahul Dravid, he is also very quiet, but he is no softie, Ms Dhoni is a very quiet shy guy, but he walks and moves around like a cool guy, Brian Lara is another example. You can be quiet, soft and still have manly traits. Everyone knows rowdy boys are attracted to soft, quiet girls, but some reason everyone think that soft quiet girls only like soft quiet boys.

  21. #181
    Debut
    Aug 2018
    Runs
    68
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by ExpressPacer View Post
    @Savak honestly speaking, I would suggest that you forget about this girl, block her from your Facebook and all other social media and try to distance yourself a shame much as you can from the mere thought of her existence.

    As someone with considerable experience of mingling with the opposite sex, I would suggest that the best nets thing for you to do as of now would be to firstly get rid off this boogeyman that you have when it comes to approaching girls. Stop being scared. You're living in the Western world, you have the access of dating websites, social events, rapid fire dating programs and most of all, Tinder. Believe you me, Tinder is going to Ben your best friend right now. Set up a profile on Tinder and try to match with as many girls as you can. It is not necessary that you get into sexual relationships with these girls but going on dates and making conversation is going to help you BIG time, especially in the long run.

    Secondly, you have a lot going for you, you come from a well-off family, you're in the peak age of the male bravado where the testosterone in men really kicks in and this is when we look best, you have a good job, you sound like an intelligent guy and you frequent the gym. Understand that you are not below anyone. Your personality and victim attitude is the only thing pulling you back HOWEVER, that can not change, it is not permanent.

    Thirdly, if you don't already, start dressing up properly, fix your posture, focus a lot on what you wear, always smell good, carry a good EDC with you and most of all, style your hair everyday. Men who consider themselves not so good looking can make a change worth galaxies by these simple things. Google and the internet will be your best coach, so please don't waste money on scammers.
    He doesn't need a therapist, he just needs to understand that just like how he isn't attracted older girls, girls in general aren't attracted to him.

  22. #182
    Debut
    Feb 2006
    Runs
    27,950
    Mentioned
    252 Post(s)
    Tagged
    5 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Eagle_Eye View Post
    Since you started this nearly 3 weeks ago... have you explicitly asked the girl?

    I presume it's a no. Therein lies your problem, get it over with and stop wasting your time.

    I find that you have no empathy for girls who are around your age group. You are very dismissive and have been very disparaging about them in this thread and also in the past. To me it seems that this is your best option and is staring you in the face but you are adamant on going on a wild goose chases continuously and failing. Have you ever delved deeply into your thought process and why you want girls that are much much younger? If the answer is looks then you should know that looks fade over time but the personality does not.

    You need help, take advice of @Donal_Cozie and seek out a qualified therapist.
    I havent contacted her for the last 2 weeks, i will try to reach out to her around November after giving her some time, space. She has done this in the past where she ignored me when i was continously messaging her, but responded to me when i reached out to her again after a couple of months. I don't want to send her a message expressing my interest in her just like that but want to do it as part of a regular conversation. I have nothing to lose anyways given that i know it is a dead end.

    I am open to girls in all age groups. If i find a girl my age, older than me whom i am attracted too i will go for it, just like how right now i am attracted to a girl a decade younger than me.

    And let me correct you. A girl in my age group or older to me is not my best option. If i wanted to marry just for the heck of it like my parents, elders, friends are suggesting i would have done that a long time ago and could do that any day. I already said no to my 22-23 year old first cousin whom most neutral observers would say is very pretty and be like "What the hell are you doing?", but i am not into her that way and also because i have seen the disasterous consequences first cousin marriages have caused to children, my cousin is severely autistic, my second cousin has Aspergers Syndrome and i too have Aspergers Syndrome and in such a highly competitive world i refuse to do injustice to my future offsprings.

    Lastly, lets not kid ourselves, it is natural for guys to notice looks first. No body just focuses on looks alone, you then look for other things in the girl as well.

  23. #183
    Debut
    May 2012
    Runs
    1,795
    Mentioned
    67 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)
    My gut reaction would be to say that it’s over and you should move on because it’s pretty clear that she’s not interested in you at all and your parents don’t approve either.

    But you seem pretty adamant in perusing her even though she will most probably decline you.

    My advice would be to keep your expectations very low when you do end up confessing your feelings to her, because I really don’t think it can be any clearer that she will say no.

    Additionally, know that when you do come clean to her, most your family will find out. It’s not as if she’ll keep this information to herself, she’ll definitely tell some one eventually. All family’s gossip so this will happen.

    There’s also a possibility that some of your family members already know you frequently talk to her.

    I think you also said that you were really badly effected by the last time you asked a girl. Know that it will most probably happen again if things don’t go as planned.

    Main thing I would like to say to you is that don’t take things too personally when she or any girl in future say no to you, because it looks like you do take things to heart very easily which are effecting your everyday life.

  24. #184
    Debut
    Jul 2006
    Venue
    Dubai, UAE
    Runs
    1,083
    Mentioned
    5 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Savak View Post
    You can't just judge someone's intellect or maturity level just based on his struggles or issues with the opposite sex. In fact if you put aside that for a second, vast majority of people in my friends circle and family consider me very intellectual on historical, political and general affairs.

    There is no hard and fast rule as far as women are concerned, i know of couples who dated for 6 plus years but ended things when one partner was unable to convince her/his parents and eventually both gave up and moved on.

    I also know of a few girls who weren't super interested in the guy whose parents, intermediaries suggested them to the girls parents but the girls in question were not at liberty to say no or dismiss the guys without actually giving the folks a very good reason or speaking/meeting the guy first.

    Then i have friends who were as clueless about girls as i was but were blessed with the good fortune where they got help from others who hooked them up selflessly with their love interests or where the girl immediately reciprocated.

    Unfortunately it appears i am indeed cursed
    Maturity is not same as intelligence. To me (this is my personal opinion) maturity revolves around humility, curiosity and empathy. Now I don't know you but judging purely from your posts (in this thread) I don't find any of these qualities in you.

    With regards to humility, you consider yourself to be better than others and expect girls to agree to marry you purely based on qualities / attributes you have contributed nothing to i.e. your Canadian passport, status of your parents etc. People who exhibit humility let their work and personalities speak.

    Curiosity refers to your interest in getting to know another person. You are falling in love with a girl based on her looks, you literally know nothing about her except for what you have heard from others. You have zero interest in getting to know another person and that requires a level of maturity which goes well beyond physical looks.

    Empathy is intersection of humility and curiosity and is the quality that brings you closer to people, makes people understood and will make you feel less lonely from inside.

    I do not mean any offense to you and I am just making this observation based on what you have written here. I could be completely wrong and / or you could be just trolling us over here. I am just giving my 2 cents. As others have said in the thread, chasing after ideas/dreams in your head is not going to get you anywhere. You need to work on yourself and make a life others want to be part of. Trust me, forcing others to be part of your life through arranged marriage or quick fixes will not bring you any contentment.

  25. #185
    Debut
    Feb 2006
    Runs
    27,950
    Mentioned
    252 Post(s)
    Tagged
    5 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Little Master View Post
    Maturity is not same as intelligence. To me (this is my personal opinion) maturity revolves around humility, curiosity and empathy. Now I don't know you but judging purely from your posts (in this thread) I don't find any of these qualities in you.
    You can't judge someone just by their posts at the end of the day

    With regards to humility, you consider yourself to be better than others and expect girls to agree to marry you purely based on qualities / attributes you have contributed nothing to i.e. your Canadian passport, status of your parents etc. People who exhibit humility let their work and personalities speak.
    In any arranged marriage situation, the girls parents will ask these questions about the guy i.e. What does he do for a Living? What kind of family does he come from? What are his career goals?, What is his lifestyle like?, Cn he provide for our daughter?

    And then when you share your dilemma with people and then they realize you are aiming for a girl out of your league, then they bring in things like "What do you bring to the table in comparison to guys who are much better looking than you, earn more money than you, come from richer or more prestigious families than you?

    Why should i continue to live like a cat in a dogs world and why should i continue to accept being treated like a doormat?.

    I don't consider myself better than anyone and treat all people equally but will not stand it when people ** with me and show arrogance towards me.

    Curiosity refers to your interest in getting to know another person. You are falling in love with a girl based on her looks, you literally know nothing about her except for what you have heard from others. You have zero interest in getting to know another person and that requires a level of maturity which goes well beyond physical looks.
    Again a falacy, i have been following this girl for very long and have interacted way more with her compared to an arranged marriage situation where 2 people are complete strangers to each other. I know more about her than anyone gives me credit for. [/QUOTE]

    Empathy is intersection of humility and curiosity and is the quality that brings you closer to people, makes people understood and will make you feel less lonely from inside.
    I wish a gazzilion people could show empathy towards me on a professional and personal level, but this is not a perfect world and have come to accept it with time and just let people be. But people should practice what they preach and will not tolerate unempathetic people lecturing me on empathy

    I do not mean any offense to you and I am just making this observation based on what you have written here. I could be completely wrong and / or you could be just trolling us over here. I am just giving my 2 cents. As others have said in the thread, chasing after ideas/dreams in your head is not going to get you anywhere. You need to work on yourself and make a life others want to be part of. Trust me, forcing others to be part of your life through arranged marriage or quick fixes will not bring you any contentment.
    Like i said, we only have one life on this planet, i believe one should make the most of the opportunities you get so that one can have no regrets down the line. And yes, i don't see anyone taking offense to my immediate, extended relatives and others conspiring and scheming with my parents to force, convince me to marry girls that they prefer for me even though i have zero interest in them.

  26. #186
    Debut
    Feb 2006
    Runs
    27,950
    Mentioned
    252 Post(s)
    Tagged
    5 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by j_kazmi View Post
    My gut reaction would be to say that it’s over and you should move on because it’s pretty clear that she’s not interested in you at all and your parents don’t approve either.

    But you seem pretty adamant in perusing her even though she will most probably decline you.

    My advice would be to keep your expectations very low when you do end up confessing your feelings to her, because I really don’t think it can be any clearer that she will say no.

    Additionally, know that when you do come clean to her, most your family will find out. It’s not as if she’ll keep this information to herself, she’ll definitely tell some one eventually. All family’s gossip so this will happen.

    There’s also a possibility that some of your family members already know you frequently talk to her.

    I think you also said that you were really badly effected by the last time you asked a girl. Know that it will most probably happen again if things don’t go as planned.

    Main thing I would like to say to you is that don’t take things too personally when she or any girl in future say no to you, because it looks like you do take things to heart very easily which are effecting your everyday life.
    I am not a very religious person but Surah An fal states "People plan, Allah plans and surely Allah is the best of planners". We can't fight destiny but no harm in atleast trying and giving a 100% in every endeavor we undertake in life.

    I don't want any regrets in life

  27. #187
    Debut
    Jan 2010
    Runs
    9,688
    Mentioned
    46 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    @Savak why should this girl choose you?

  28. #188
    Debut
    May 2010
    Venue
    Australia
    Runs
    1,056
    Mentioned
    8 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Eagle_Eye View Post
    @Savak why should this girl choose you?
    Bro give up at least 20 people have given him solid advice but somehow he has a rebuttal where he plays the victim card.
    He needs to get professional help and that’s not me being a jerk. I sense depression and self victimisation in his posts which is never a good mix

  29. #189
    Debut
    Feb 2006
    Runs
    27,950
    Mentioned
    252 Post(s)
    Tagged
    5 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Eagle_Eye View Post
    @Savak why should this girl choose you?
    This is the trick question which is similar to the question you get asked in a job interview for a coveted position with a thousand applicants "Why should we hire you?", "What is so special about you?", "What do you bring to the table which others don't?", where you know that you cannot afford to give the same boring natural cliched responses of "I am hard working", "I have excellent related work experience" e.t.c.

    If the girl were to ask me, i know i cannot afford to say i find her attractive alone. What i do feel deep down is that she and i share a lot of things in common where we both are introverts and shy, we both were bullied as children in high school, we both have led fairly guarded lives, i admire how inspite of her weaknesses she works hard and tries her best to be the best version of herself, i like the fact that in addition to being attracted to her looks, the fact that she is sensitive, where she likes to give back to society my volunteering at NGO's and continously highlighting social causes and that i like these traits.

    I would tell her about my own childhood where i was bullied badly by my peers, high school teachers, where i had to battle severe learning disabilities where at the time my teachers categorically said he cannot cope with the demands of professional education but have had to fight my way through to graduate from the top business school in Pakistan and then challenged myself to pursue the top most accounting qualification in addition to struggling in a very tough competitive job market and that i know what it is like to struggle with bad experiences, bad outcomes, battling low confidence, Aspergers Syndrome. Basically giving the message that i know where she is coming from.

  30. #190
    Debut
    Aug 2018
    Runs
    68
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Savak View Post
    This is the trick question which is similar to the question you get asked in a job interview for a coveted position with a thousand applicants "Why should we hire you?", "What is so special about you?", "What do you bring to the table which others don't?", where you know that you cannot afford to give the same boring natural cliched responses of "I am hard working", "I have excellent related work experience" e.t.c.

    If the girl were to ask me, i know i cannot afford to say i find her attractive alone. What i do feel deep down is that she and i share a lot of things in common where we both are introverts and shy, we both were bullied as children in high school, we both have led fairly guarded lives, i admire how inspite of her weaknesses she works hard and tries her best to be the best version of herself, i like the fact that in addition to being attracted to her looks, the fact that she is sensitive, where she likes to give back to society my volunteering at NGO's and continously highlighting social causes and that i like these traits.

    I would tell her about my own childhood where i was bullied badly by my peers, high school teachers, where i had to battle severe learning disabilities where at the time my teachers categorically said he cannot cope with the demands of professional education but have had to fight my way through to graduate from the top business school in Pakistan and then challenged myself to pursue the top most accounting qualification in addition to struggling in a very tough competitive job market and that i know what it is like to struggle with bad experiences, bad outcomes, battling low confidence, Aspergers Syndrome. Basically giving the message that i know where she is coming from.
    You are making lot of assumptions. This is a girl you think you know. You don't know a girl unless you actually get to know her. Even people in relationships break up after years, but you have no idea about her.

    No girl like a bully, but girls are more likely to be attracted to the bully than the guy getting bullied. Girls want a born superstar, not a wimp that from zero to hero. All your achievements are impressive for what it is, but if a girl doesn't find your character then she won't want to be with you. I'm speaking from my own experience. While I may not been bullied(surprisingly) or have been extreme introvert but I was a legit wimp and a nice guy.

  31. #191
    Debut
    Jul 2018
    Runs
    218
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Are we ignoring the fact she’s 17 and he’s 27? He’s must of liked her for a while for it to get to this stage, say 2.3 years. He’s liked a girl who’s 14 at the age of 24. Is no one gonna address this? That’s sickening.

  32. #192
    Debut
    Jun 2017
    Runs
    867
    Mentioned
    44 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by ChuckLee View Post
    Are we ignoring the fact she’s 17 and he’s 27? He’s must of liked her for a while for it to get to this stage, say 2.3 years. He’s liked a girl who’s 14 at the age of 24. Is no one gonna address this? That’s sickening.
    You got it wrong he said she was 17 when they first met now the girl must be 23 - 24 year old

  33. #193
    Debut
    Jul 2018
    Runs
    218
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by introvert View Post
    You got it wrong he said she was 17 when they first met now the girl must be 23 - 24 year old
    So he was attracted to a minor? That’s still illegal and falls under classification of the pedophilia.

  34. #194
    Debut
    Feb 2006
    Runs
    27,950
    Mentioned
    252 Post(s)
    Tagged
    5 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by ChuckLee View Post
    So he was attracted to a minor? That’s still illegal and falls under classification of the pedophilia.
    Mike Tyson knew his current wife when she was 12 years old, but he ended up marrying her when she was in her mid 20's and when he was 40.

  35. #195
    Debut
    Jun 2017
    Runs
    867
    Mentioned
    44 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by ChuckLee View Post
    So he was attracted to a minor? That’s still illegal and falls under classification of the pedophilia.
    Inaccurate generalization. 17 year old girl is not a kid , "ephebophilia" is a right word in this situation & if it is not involving abuse,molestation,creepy fantasies etc. Then it is just an innocent attraction that can happen with anyone.
    Only that girl has a right to judge OP's intentions.

  36. #196
    Debut
    Jul 2018
    Runs
    218
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Savak View Post
    Mike Tyson knew his current wife when she was 12 years old, but he ended up marrying her when she was in her mid 20's and when he was 40.
    Sure, use a convicted rapist to justify yourself.

  37. #197
    Debut
    Feb 2006
    Runs
    27,950
    Mentioned
    252 Post(s)
    Tagged
    5 Thread(s)
    After a gap of 2 months in which i avoided speaking to her, i reached out to her and she has started speaking to me and responding to my messages and chats.

    Today i told her about my Aspergers Syndrome/Autism Spectrum diagnosis and Social Awkwardness issues and she reacted very supportingly.

    I don't know why i am over thinking things and struggling to say the magic words to her. I keep thinking of the following

    - Would it be right or selfish of me to just ambush her without getting to know if she genuinely likes someone else that she is fighting for with her folks?

    - Is she heart broken, upset over a previous failed relationship?

    - How do i say the magic words without looking desperate, needy or lacking in quality options?

  38. #198
    Debut
    Sep 2016
    Runs
    3,884
    Mentioned
    69 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Savak View Post
    After a gap of 2 months in which i avoided speaking to her, i reached out to her and she has started speaking to me and responding to my messages and chats.

    Today i told her about my Aspergers Syndrome/Autism Spectrum diagnosis and Social Awkwardness issues and she reacted very supportingly.

    I don't know why i am over thinking things and struggling to say the magic words to her. I keep thinking of the following

    - Would it be right or selfish of me to just ambush her without getting to know if she genuinely likes someone else that she is fighting for with her folks?

    - Is she heart broken, upset over a previous failed relationship?

    - How do i say the magic words without looking desperate, needy or lacking in quality options?
    what magic words? loool don't say "i love you" that is so cringey and you barely know her and aren't even in a relationship, just keep talking casually and see where things go. You might drop a few hints of interest by giving the odd compliment but don't tell her how you feel until you can gauge what wavelength she's on.

    That's really it.


    "Peace is only made with the powerful"

  39. #199
    Debut
    Feb 2015
    Venue
    Karachi/NYC
    Runs
    22,430
    Mentioned
    1246 Post(s)
    Tagged
    7 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Savak View Post
    After a gap of 2 months in which i avoided speaking to her, i reached out to her and she has started speaking to me and responding to my messages and chats.

    Today i told her about my Aspergers Syndrome/Autism Spectrum diagnosis and Social Awkwardness issues and she reacted very supportingly.

    I don't know why i am over thinking things and struggling to say the magic words to her. I keep thinking of the following

    - Would it be right or selfish of me to just ambush her without getting to know if she genuinely likes someone else that she is fighting for with her folks?

    - Is she heart broken, upset over a previous failed relationship?

    - How do i say the magic words without looking desperate, needy or lacking in quality options?
    what are these magic words lol?


    #MPGA

  40. #200
    Debut
    Dec 2011
    Runs
    2,311
    Mentioned
    13 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    What a gem of a thread

  41. #201
    Debut
    Feb 2006
    Runs
    27,950
    Mentioned
    252 Post(s)
    Tagged
    5 Thread(s)
    Shared a few pics of a peak prime Mike Tyson with her and asked for her opinion on whether she would be interested in painting him.

    I feared she would get offended. But she actually liked it and was like while it wasn't her subject, she doesn't mind doing something different


Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •