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  1. #81
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    I will recommend you to watch these videos and share them with your wife:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ByXfQQIUu4

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a6M8RxA1Uv4

    It's always better to seek help from Quran and Hadith regarding these type of sensitive issues.

  2. #82
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    Quote Originally Posted by Energy View Post
    Have seen strange divorce reasons but people suggesting divorce here for being called a motu is next level.

    As someone who is relatively newly married, I will advise you to just have a friendly chat with your wife. Tell her things that work out, things that don't and I am sure she will understand. It could be vice-versa, she may not like certain things about you but she appears to be more vocal in nature that's all.

    There is a compromise that needs to be made by both parties because two people are not born with the same personality traits. If both sides want to make the marriage work out, the adjustment will be easier.
    Good advice. In my experience, many divorces occur due to lack of communication from one or both the parties aided by their ego which Ultimately makes even small issues into a much bigger one.

    Congratulations on your new marriage BTW. Hope you guys have long, prosper and happy life ahead

  3. #83
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    Quote Originally Posted by blackanhyellow View Post
    This has nothing to do with cultural differences. More to do with personality differences.

    1) either she is blunt and calls it as she sees it.

    2) she thinks she is just harmlessly teasing you.

    I don't know the tone she's saying these comments in, it may be the case you are bit of a snow flake and she doesn't realize that about you. So she may think she is bantering but you are getting your feelings hurt.

    Did you tell her you don't like it when she calls you motoo?

    Either way have an open conversation with her and let her know how you feel. It seems like that is what she wants anyways.

    If you are still shy around her, have the conversation through the phone.
    Quote Originally Posted by IAJ View Post
    Canít believe people are asking you to divorce here just like that. This is marriage we are talking about and not some computer game you are fed up with. Divorce is the last soulution.

    The best start is to have a sincere talk to her where you simply tell her what you feel and if you are hurt YOU need to tell her. What you have told so far here are not big things which just can end a relationship, then I am afraid you or some posters here havenít knowledge/experience of how tough marriages can get and even then people get along.

    And if things get serious you need to talk to family members and friends you trust and even seek professional help. And before even thinking about divorce you can also speak to a reliable scholar who also can give you advice.

    And also remember she has given up everything (parents, family, friends) and come to a total new place. This could also explain her behaviour.

    Wish you all the best bro. It will in sha Allah get sorted out.
    Quote Originally Posted by Salman View Post
    Happily married nearly 18 years to my wife who was from originally Pakistan and i am still advising to quit if not happy in the relationship if in this very early stages of married life as the OP seems to be . People need to start being realistic and quit the moral high ground which is linked embarrassments of going through a divorce or separation, it's not like the Arab world where the luxury of a 2nd or 3rd wife is the answer to all the problems as this is nor financially possible or socially acceptable in the west.

    The OP needs to look after No.1 first which is himself but also have the mental strength to cope with the situation and back his decisions.
    Thank you for the advice, Some posters have asked why im on a public forum discussing marriage problems, well firstly none of you have met me in person therefore unlikely to have a biased view of me, also as we have seen there are plenty of people on here with various forms of experience so are fully qualified to give me advice on matters such as this. Also If i talk to my parents about these issues then they will unnecesarilly get upset, especially my mum so dont want to give her any stress, maybe even my friends too, I dont want them to know that not all is well in paradise.

    I agree that divorce should not be thought of so hastily, but I would lie if i said it hasnt crossed my mind as I am thinking of many "what if" scenarios in my head. The problem with divorce is that as with many asian families, marriage is almost between two families, it would end up hurting a lot of people involved however I wouldnt be teh first person IF it did happen and what I have to think of is do I want to remain unhappy for the rest of my life, as one of the posters said marriage is 50% deen, should that 50% be unhappy?

  4. #84
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    Quote Originally Posted by princeuk View Post
    Thank you for the advice, Some posters have asked why im on a public forum discussing marriage problems, well firstly none of you have met me in person therefore unlikely to have a biased view of me, also as we have seen there are plenty of people on here with various forms of experience so are fully qualified to give me advice on matters such as this. Also If i talk to my parents about these issues then they will unnecesarilly get upset, especially my mum so dont want to give her any stress, maybe even my friends too, I dont want them to know that not all is well in paradise.

    I agree that divorce should not be thought of so hastily, but I would lie if i said it hasnt crossed my mind as I am thinking of many "what if" scenarios in my head. The problem with divorce is that as with many asian families, marriage is almost between two families, it would end up hurting a lot of people involved however I wouldnt be teh first person IF it did happen and what I have to think of is do I want to remain unhappy for the rest of my life, as one of the posters said marriage is 50% deen, should that 50% be unhappy?
    do you live with your parents after marriage? if yes then is your mom a bit of my way or highway and you always side with your mom? the issue might be between your mom and your wife; mom can be cruel some times towards the new wife and you wife is may be just showing her frustration; has there been arguments between your mom and wife?

  5. #85
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    Quote Originally Posted by Savak View Post
    This thread epitomizes the white knight wannabe nature of educated, middle class, upper middle class, elite Pakistani men. Not a single thread has condemned the deliberate behaviour of the guy's wife against him, he has for the most part been told to suck it up and to continue to linger on in an unhappy marriage. I can bet my bottom dollar if we reverse the roles here if it was the guy constantly mocking, making fun of his wife, calling him ajeeb, making fun of her weight, the entire female brigade would be telling her to leave her evil oppressive husband. But here you have guys condescending, making merry of the guys predicament.

    To the OP, life is to short to keep wasting on a spouse you cannot tolerate, only you know your situation best and what is the level of love and compatibility with your spouse and how she feels about you.

    If you leave an inappropriate behaviour, attitude uncorrected, it will always be fester. Hence for starters you need to take charge and tell her to cut the **** out. She probably feels and takes for granted that you don't have any other options hence she can continue to treat you like crap hence you need to start giving her ultimatums that if she doesn't start correcting her behavior you will not hesitate to chuck her out of your life and if your folks tell you otherwise you tell them that this is how it's going to be from now on.

    You never know, there might be someone else out there who will be hundred percent more compatible for you and will also love you. Sticking with this woman who is making your life hell will deprive you off that. My mamu spent 18 years in an emotionally and physically abusive marriage which he wanted to end 5-6 times but was stopped by his parents, siblings under the pretext of guzzara Karo. His major source of depression now is the fact that had he had the guts to take this step when he was in his thirties, he could have found a more compatible, second spouse
    I absolutely love the posts that you have put up in this thread and cant help agreeing to a lot of waht you have said. First of all im sorry to hear that about your mamu, my heart just sank when i read that story but then its also sad that family talked him out of it 5-6 times, if the conversation has cropped up THAT many times about them seperating/divorcing then you have to wonder if the family have done him any favours.

    Thank you for seeing things from my point of view, now im not saying im 100% right but no individual is. IF you ask my friends and parents im the most patient guy going, they would perhaps even say that I am too laid back, my friends even joked that i may be "under the thumb" of my wife. She said a number of things to begin with and I let it go and maybe for a time period i did let things fester but at the weekend i did talk to her about the whole "motto" thing, can i re-iterate i talked to her not "confront" her, and she told me it was just a term of endearment which i thought she might say but i said ok if you call me it now and then then its ok but i have heard it 500 times in the past 5 days alone, how am i supposed to feel? she then backed off a bit and said she wont use it, so lets see if that situation is resolved, however she did let slip that word again a few times later on but i think its because she was so used to saying it she let it "slip" but most of the time she hasnt since that conversation.

    If people think im being sensitive just because of "motoo" then they have missed the point, I clearly did mention in my previous posts the other things she has said to me and how she puts me down. just at the weekend there my dad was complimenting me in front of her saying that my sense of direction and map reading is quite good, how when i was younger and my dad was travelling to London I guided him on the routes and how to get to London on time and if it werent for me he probably wouldnt have made it. She then turns round and says "I didnt realise he was THAT talented". I mean wow, the tone of hers was just so condescending, and this is not the first time, when a compliment has been made towards me she has stepped in and said something to try and negate it. I really feel like telling everyone else around me please dont compliment me about anything in front of my wife otherwise she will turn round and say something to "negate" it, the situation has become like this that I dont want to accept compliments from other people when she is around. This second time at the weekend she was looking at my food and say dont eat too much, my mum said its only extra vegetables and then she turned round and said, "mum is defending her son in this". I mean I have dealt with one thing her calling me fat constantly and now it is this.

    Quote Originally Posted by predictablyunpredictable View Post
    I think I know people like your wife. I have this colleague from the university, she recently got married and cropped her husband out of the wedding picture. Her husband seems like a nice person, he comments on her pictures telling how good she looks and her replies are like I know and also pictures of her honeymoon were mostly her pictures. When husband asked where his pictures were, she was liike post your pictures on your timeline. All this is happening in public, social media. It is very cringy, to say the least. She used to be a decent person but something happened to her during the last year of medical school. She got kinda arrogant and started behaving wierdly. I hope your wife ain't as bad as her.
    Dude that is so sad, nobody deserves that treatment, i hope his situation gets better.

    Quote Originally Posted by j_kazmi View Post
    Itís not necessarily impossible. Not everyone is confident in having these sort confrontational conservations. You may be some one whoís comfortable with confrontation but not everyone is.

    Plus, relationships are complicated, he may not want to have this conversation due to fear of the reaction heíll get. He only recently committed to this marriage so heís probably not sure what to do because it wonít look good if he breaks off the marriage so quickly.
    This is exactly the problem sometimes, I dont want to confront anyone straight away as I fear the reaction could be worse but of course when one crosses the line then the conversation get necessary, I wish I was better at dealing with situations like these but im getting better, some people are just naturally confident about confronting someone.

    I have put up with "put down" humour that sometimes friends use with each other and its fine, I think its funny, its enjoyable and nobody crosses the line ever, despite me knowing them for many years. So its certainly not a case of me being overly sensitive. Am I senstive person yes, nothing wrong with that but never OVERLY SENSITIVE, I know how to take humour in its stride.

  6. #86
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    Quote Originally Posted by srh View Post
    do you live with your parents after marriage? if yes then is your mom a bit of my way or highway and you always side with your mom? the issue might be between your mom and your wife; mom can be cruel some times towards the new wife and you wife is may be just showing her frustration; has there been arguments between your mom and wife?
    No, Nothing of the sort, my mum is like me, if there is conflict, we would rather walk away from it in the hope that the situation sorts itself out, only if it gets out of hand then either one of us would step in, ive very much adopted my mums behaviour.

  7. #87
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    Quote Originally Posted by princeuk View Post
    No, Nothing of the sort, my mum is like me, if there is conflict, we would rather walk away from it in the hope that the situation sorts itself out, only if it gets out of hand then either one of us would step in, ive very much adopted my mums behaviour.
    This conclusion could be from biased perspective as she has raised you. You'll have to look from a neutral perspective such as from your cousins or as such. Only then you can make a correct assessment taking both the sides into account.

  8. #88
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    Your dad said you're talented and she said I didn't know he's THAT talented. Holy crap. Is it just me or does anyone else also agrees with me to the fact you have no idea how to take banter or jokes? It's clear banter how can you not see that.

    This is totally ridiculous. No offence.
    Last edited by Pakpak; 9th September 2019 at 21:01.

  9. #89
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    Quote Originally Posted by cricketerB94 View Post
    I will recommend you to watch these videos and share them with your wife:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ByXfQQIUu4

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a6M8RxA1Uv4

    It's always better to seek help from Quran and Hadith regarding these type of sensitive issues.
    The most pointless advice award goes to...

    The issue isn't complicated. It seems the OP has no idea what joking looks like.

  10. #90
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    I read the whole thread again.

    It seems like the parents of OP is very defensive about their son.

    And she has a very opposite persona who probably believes in standing on your own feet.

    When she sees her husband getting comforted by his parent in every little things, it makes her frustrated and hence the reaction.

    In short, she does think OP is a mommas boy and that's why she uses the condescending tone in order to bring out some anger so that he could start speaking on his own without any aid from his parents.

    Rough road ahead.

  11. #91
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    One word of caution to the OP. Be very aware of the financial implications of divorce in the worst case scenario. My dad mentioned the same thing to my elder brother a few months ago that he has to do whatever he can to make the marriage work because in the west, your spouse can bleed you dry and be entitled to half of what you own unlike Pakistan which is why people lol in the west are encouraged to think ten times more carefully before deciding on who to marry.

    Another advice to the OP. Confide in your parents to get their opinion on this, even if they don't talk to your wife, they may discuss with her parents and then her parents will counsel her to cut the **** out. But don't be scared to speak your mind, if something upsets you or is not to your liking then don't be shy about speaking your mind.

  12. #92
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    Quote Originally Posted by Itachi View Post
    I read the whole thread again.

    It seems like the parents of OP is very defensive about their son.

    And she has a very opposite persona who probably believes in standing on your own feet.

    When she sees her husband getting comforted by his parent in every little things, it makes her frustrated and hence the reaction.

    In short, she does think OP is a mommas boy and that's why she uses the condescending tone in order to bring out some anger so that he could start speaking on his own without any aid from his parents.

    Rough road ahead.
    I would like to see her reaction and how she feels when the OP starts giving her some tough love of his own.

    Women object to guys being mama boys but expect the guy to give full respect, consideration and care to her parents and for her parents to always pamper her.

    One of my chachas handled it beautifully. My chachi always threw a fit and refused to allow my daadi to stay over at her place for more than a week making life hell for my chacha. The moment she in turn started demanding that my chacha sponsor her parents from Pakistan to Canada and allow them to live with them for 4-5 months in the year, he told her to f off and when she threw an emotional sissy fit again, he told her to f off again without any emotions.

    This is how men need to start treating hypocritical women, with these women respect cannot be earned, it has to be demanded

  13. #93
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pakpak View Post
    Your dad said you're talented and she said I didn't know he's THAT talented. Holy crap. Is it just me or does anyone else also agrees with me to the fact you have no idea how to take banter or jokes? It's clear banter how can you not see that.

    This is totally ridiculous. No offence.
    I don't think you should be judging the OP. You aren't in his shoes and don't have to deal with his spouse. You probably have a decent spouse whom you can easily deal with and hence are automatically assuming that the OP will be dealing with a similar person or similar type of person.

    It's not just you though. Have seen many people do this, they just cannot put themselves empathetically in another person's shoes.

  14. #94
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    OP should have confronted her from day one. The fact he hasn't is what has allowed the behaviour to carry on uncorrected. A lot of people make this mistake of not addressing early on under the assumption that things will correct and fix on its own

  15. #95
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    Quote Originally Posted by Savak View Post
    I would like to see her reaction and how she feels when the OP starts giving her some tough love of his own.

    Women object to guys being mama boys but expect the guy to give full respect, consideration and care to her parents and for her parents to always pamper her.

    One of my chachas handled it beautifully. My chachi always threw a fit and refused to allow my daadi to stay over at her place for more than a week making life hell for my chacha. The moment she in turn started demanding that my chacha sponsor her parents from Pakistan to Canada and allow them to live with them for 4-5 months in the year, he told her to f off and when she threw an emotional sissy fit again, he told her to f off again without any emotions.

    This is how men need to start treating hypocritical women, with these women respect cannot be earned, it has to be demanded
    To care for your parent and being a mamma boy are two different aspects.

    Mamma boy doesn't means he respects the parents. Rather he is depended on them.

  16. #96
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    Quote Originally Posted by Savak View Post
    OP should have confronted her from day one. The fact he hasn't is what has allowed the behaviour to carry on uncorrected. A lot of people make this mistake of not addressing early on under the assumption that things will correct and fix on its own
    Yes, you're right completely here.

    But I am sorry what it sounded like is banter and he's unable to recognise it. Which as I said before he should have told her about it.

  17. #97
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    Quote Originally Posted by Itachi View Post
    Good advice. In my experience, many divorces occur due to lack of communication from one or both the parties aided by their ego which Ultimately makes even small issues into a much bigger one.

    Congratulations on your new marriage BTW. Hope you guys have long, prosper and happy life ahead
    Many thanks, man.

  18. #98
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    Quote Originally Posted by Itachi View Post
    To care for your parent and being a mamma boy are two different aspects.

    Mamma boy doesn't means he respects the parents. Rather he is depended on them.
    Being dependent is a reality to now. Times have changed from the 70's to early 2000's. Inflation, cost of living has skyrocketed and Salaries have just not gone up via the same proportion.

    Just to give an example, the salary for an entry level CPA student for the last 20-30 years was always around $37-45,000 and it is still the same or even lower now but can you imagine how much the cost of living has gone up by in the last 2-3 decades in comparison?

    The vast majority of my friends living in Pakistan except for those who either had to relocate for work purposes are all living in joint family systems with their spouses, kids etc. Making a conscious decision to live separately means another Rs 80-100k in expenses. A guy on a salary will never be able to buy property, even with a working spouse it is very difficult.

    Women will always complain about guys no matter what you do for them both in a joint family and outside a joint family system.

  19. #99
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pakpak View Post
    Yes, you're right completely here.

    But I am sorry what it sounded like is banter and he's unable to recognise it. Which as I said before he should have told her about it.
    Again I repeat. How can you judge it was banter? Were you there to witness her tone, the fact she made the comment 500 times previously to him? Don't you think it is a big red flag that the girl is daring to put the guy down in front of his parents?

    I have a friend who lives in a joint family system and even he is very very particular about things between him and his spouse not getting leaked to either of their parents.

    I agree it's very hard to live by these hard and fast rules but I get annoyed by the fact that people make it a duty to judge, give harsh opinions when they cannot empathize.

  20. #100
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    Quote Originally Posted by Savak View Post
    Again I repeat. How can you judge it was banter? Were you there to witness her tone, the fact she made the comment 500 times previously to him? Don't you think it is a big red flag that the girl is daring to put the guy down in front of his parents?

    I have a friend who lives in a joint family system and even he is very very particular about things between him and his spouse not getting leaked to either of their parents.

    I agree it's very hard to live by these hard and fast rules but I get annoyed by the fact that people make it a duty to judge, give harsh opinions when they cannot empathize.
    I am married for a long time so I can empathise. The way she said it a lot of Pakistanis do banter like that. He seems like a snowflake. At worst he can say 'don't joke infront of my parents'.

    As for joint system, things will leak. If that's a problem get your own house.

  21. #101
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    Quote Originally Posted by Itachi View Post
    Good advice. In my experience, many divorces occur due to lack of communication from one or both the parties aided by their ego which Ultimately makes even small issues into a much bigger one.

    Congratulations on your new marriage BTW. Hope you guys have long, prosper and happy life ahead
    Thank you for the wishes.

    Quote Originally Posted by Savak View Post
    I would like to see her reaction and how she feels when the OP starts giving her some tough love of his own.

    Women object to guys being mama boys but expect the guy to give full respect, consideration and care to her parents and for her parents to always pamper her.

    One of my chachas handled it beautifully. My chachi always threw a fit and refused to allow my daadi to stay over at her place for more than a week making life hell for my chacha. The moment she in turn started demanding that my chacha sponsor her parents from Pakistan to Canada and allow them to live with them for 4-5 months in the year, he told her to f off and when she threw an emotional sissy fit again, he told her to f off again without any emotions.

    This is how men need to start treating hypocritical women, with these women respect cannot be earned, it has to be demanded
    Quote Originally Posted by Savak View Post
    OP should have confronted her from day one. The fact he hasn't is what has allowed the behaviour to carry on uncorrected. A lot of people make this mistake of not addressing early on under the assumption that things will correct and fix on its own
    Yes and Yes. You have hit the nail on the head (Again), She herself has admitted to me that she has been pampered by her family, not just her but her two other sisters have been pampered as well, so theirin lies the problems itself. And no I wouldnt think she would like it if i spoke to her like that but being pampered she feels that she can.

    I agree I should have addressed the issue from day one rather than let it pass, but I didnt and hence why issues started to arise, I guess I was just shocked cos I just personally dont speak to people like that and unlike one of the posters here who suggested I was a snowflake, he hasnt seen the rolling of the eyes she does, her little smirk she has when making a comment, her whole demeanour, her body language, if they did then they would know what im on about.

  22. #102
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    princeuk salam bro. Its sad to hear you are having marital problems but everyone has them some more worse than others.

    Marriage is like a lottery IMO especially for us desis, arranged or self arranged as living with a person is a total new ball game.

    It is how you cope and how thick skin you can be.

    It is good to see you are trying to talk to her which is great. But with the snide comments from your partner you need to firm saying you didnt like that comment then and there. If the person still continues with it just tell yourself its just words. People after a certain age dont change especially women. I have found that the more educated and succesful women become a bit rude tbh. Many think men can be vicious, but IMO women can be equally criminal with their tounge alone. But if a man wants a marriage to work they have to learn to cope and comprise, but being firm and direct and ofcourse loving too.

    The incident at the party about you eating food shows love and care. Yes her choice of words were not appropirate but IMO I feel that is why she said it. Also in our desi culture you will notice that many people use negative methods to encourage someone to do something.

    You also need to lay down your boundaries early in your marriage so the person realises what your expectations and likes dislikes are. You have to be firm on these things. Maybe your partner is testing you and she is taking advantage of your laid back and polite nature.

    I see you want this marriage to work and I hope it does inshahAllah.

  23. #103
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    The advice people have given in the thread is very contradictory and confusing where they are like talk to her, compromise, tell her, be firm, but if she still doesn't listen or mend her ways, then suck it up, deal with it, learn to cope with it. Is the new generation of Pakistani men and society actually wusses where they are scared of extricating themselves from an unhappy situation?

    I understand that the budhhas, buzurg in our society promote compromises, being unhappy but accepting it, coming to terms with it for the greater good but there are a few select people who actually live life to the fullest, do exactly what they want and do not compromise on their happiness one bit and there is nothing wrong with the later

  24. #104
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    Quote Originally Posted by Savak View Post
    The advice people have given in the thread is very contradictory and confusing where they are like talk to her, compromise, tell her, be firm, but if she still doesn't listen or mend her ways, then suck it up, deal with it, learn to cope with it. Is the new generation of Pakistani men and society actually wusses where they are scared of extricating themselves from an unhappy situation?

    I understand that the budhhas, buzurg in our society promote compromises, being unhappy but accepting it, coming to terms with it for the greater good but there are a few select people who actually live life to the fullest, do exactly what they want and do not compromise on their happiness one bit and there is nothing wrong with the later
    Agreed. Emotional health is often overlooked in Pakistani culture.

  25. #105
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    People who feel the need to comment negatively on others often suffer from inferiority complex and the only way they can feel better about themselves is by bringing others down.

    Marriage and moving to a totally different country is a big change- I wonder how your wife is coping with all of this.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Savak View Post
    The advice people have given in the thread is very contradictory and confusing where they are like talk to her, compromise, tell her, be firm, but if she still doesn't listen or mend her ways, then suck it up, deal with it, learn to cope with it. Is the new generation of Pakistani men and society actually wusses where they are scared of extricating themselves from an unhappy situation?

    I understand that the budhhas, buzurg in our society promote compromises, being unhappy but accepting it, coming to terms with it for the greater good but there are a few select people who actually live life to the fullest, do exactly what they want and do not compromise on their happiness one bit and there is nothing wrong with the later
    What is happiness to you?

    You didn't comprimise on your high standards and are now in your mid 30s, single and presumably never touched a woman.

    I am not saying this to put you down or be mean.

    However, normally people find a way to work out their problems, that is how relationships are formed.

    This man needs to learn to communicate with his new wife.

    Has he had a conversation with her regarding his feelings? Not even once, this should be attempted multiple times.

    You are wrong about this new generation, in actuality this new generation thinks divorce is a joke, and that at the slightest hint of marital problems one should run for the hills, as only that can lead to happiness. This is why divorce rates are rising.

    Ever think if he learns to work things out with his wife, he could be happy too?

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    Quote Originally Posted by blackanhyellow View Post
    What is happiness to you?

    You didn't comprimise on your high standards and are now in your mid 30s, single and presumably never touched a woman.

    I am not saying this to put you down or be mean.

    However, normally people find a way to work out their problems, that is how relationships are formed.

    This man needs to learn to communicate with his new wife.

    Has he had a conversation with her regarding his feelings? Not even once, this should be attempted multiple times.

    You are wrong about this new generation, in actuality this new generation thinks divorce is a joke, and that at the slightest hint of marital problems one should run for the hills, as only that can lead to happiness. This is why divorce rates are rising.

    Ever think if he learns to work things out with his wife, he could be happy too?
    Not sure about Pakistan but in the West, i have seen a few desi's talk about avoiding the divorce option because legally in the west in the event of a divorce your assets are split up 50-50 and the guy has to give half of everything he has to his spouse.

    In Pakistan, i have never ever heard of any guy pay a significant amount to his ex spouse apart from the token haq mehr amount. I know of a potential rishta between two Pakistani families collapsing because the girls side of the family objected to the haq mehr amount proposed by the guys family and were demanding that the amount be significantly revised and even be meant to include a property or two.

    As far as your naive assertion i have never touched a woman, i can assure you that has never been a problem lol. My standards are still high, the only compromise i have made is that i agree to interact with anyone recommended to me, but apart from that i get to make the final call.

    I agree the guy needs to communicate with his wife, he needs to read her the riot act to change her attitude and behavior otherwise he will not hessitate to chuck her out of his life and go for someone else who is a better fit for him.

    I am a very practical person. Yes couples have arguments but deep down they love each other and work things out. It is also a reality where couples don't love each other and badly resent each other but stick together because of the kids and this is something that needs to be avoided.


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