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  1. #81
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    Dude, grow up.

  2. #82
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sher Khan View Post
    Okay, so for example if i search something even remotely close to adult content. Their appears a dog and k9 web protection alert. Requiring a password and stating that adult content is restricted. Its been like that since I was 14. My parents have told me they got my uncle an IT specialist to put it on.

    Having said that I can still access social networking sites like Facebook, Instagram etc. where I talked with the girl. It is not possible for my parents to see what I talk about. Of course I delete my browsing history for it. But I use a browser and log out.

    In regards to my ex, she is at my university. We hanged out together and talked on Facebook. My parents cant come to my uni its an hour away from my house. I did it all in secret. But it cost me as I became very invested in her, and she used me up.

    Are you sure you live in Aus ???????/ I cannot believe what I am reading kid.. Your parents have some major issues if what you are saying is the truth> tell them you are GAY and they will crap their pants and encourage you to go out and meet women. There ya go, you get the freedom you want, relief on your parent's face when you bring a female home and everyone is happy...


    "You want Philly, Philly ? " Nicholas Edward Foles

  3. #83
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    Bro, my parents are exactly the same, I'm 21 and from UK.

    First of all, don't listen to the religious advice, especially regarding mullahs, because it won't work. I suspect all of your problems are situational, so you'll feel much better after you're removed from your situation. Since you said you're in uni, why don't you find a Masters course in a far away city so you can move away? That's what I'm trying to do (money is a bit of an issue), and it seems like my only way out.

    I fully understand your thing about izzat and not being able to move out, it's a very hard situation and I really feel for you bro. No matter how bad they may make you feel, it's okay if you don't feel as religious as them, or you don't feel religious at all. We all make our own choices, and all want different things in life. I know I haven't given much advice, but do try and think of as many ways as you can to move out. I don't think you'll get better until you do.

  4. #84
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tubs View Post
    Bro, my parents are exactly the same, I'm 21 and from UK.

    First of all, don't listen to the religious advice, especially regarding mullahs, because it won't work. I suspect all of your problems are situational, so you'll feel much better after you're removed from your situation. Since you said you're in uni, why don't you find a Masters course in a far away city so you can move away? That's what I'm trying to do (money is a bit of an issue), and it seems like my only way out.

    I fully understand your thing about izzat and not being able to move out, it's a very hard situation and I really feel for you bro. No matter how bad they may make you feel, it's okay if you don't feel as religious as them, or you don't feel religious at all. We all make our own choices, and all want different things in life. I know I haven't given much advice, but do try and think of as many ways as you can to move out. I don't think you'll get better until you do.
    Thanks bro. Yes your are right I feel like my condition will get better if I move out. Atleast no one will judge rom put me down bro. Thats good idea, I should try to find a masters course far away. My parents might even let, considering its for my studies and future.
    Last edited by Sher Khan; 19th March 2019 at 16:42.

  5. #85
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    Saddest day of my life! Diagnosed with depression and anxiety

    Quote Originally Posted by UP View Post
    Havent read the thread. People make things complicated for themselves. Live a simple life and do your work in silence. Life is not that difficult if you know what you are doing. You need to think whats best for you. And dont look at other people for approval. I lost my mom at an early age and losing her made me stronger. I made some very bad decisions in her absence but as they say, what doesnt kills you, makes you stronger. Learn from your mistakes and move on in life.

    I also went through an ugly pursuit after a girl who I loved unconditionally. Things fell apart between two parties. This is life - you win some, you lose some. Time is the best healer. I thought my life wont be the same after losing my girl but I have been ok. Im going to work and keeping myself busy. Obviously, I miss her - but you have to keep marching on.
    Stay strong my boy! I know weve been through a lot of mental and emotional torture the recent times, but I suppose life teaches you lessons for your future the hard way. Time might indeed be the best healer, but on a similar note, life is the greatest teacher. Weve a whole life ahead of ourselves, and InshaAllah youll soon see brighter days in life. Sometimes, letting go off the past and accepting ones fate as it is is the first step towards driving from darkness into light.

    "..... If Allah finds any good in your hearts, He will give you something better than what has been taken from you... " - Quran 8:70.

    For the time being, keep yourself busy and distracted. Oh and, dont forget to support the Chennai Super Kings!


    "It sounds like you have a great strength of character and strong will" - Ellyse Perry about me.

  6. #86
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    @Sher Khan

    First of all, more power to you for having the courage to share your personal story here.

    Secondly, since you're 22 I'm assuming you've already graduated. Why don't you look for an odd job that pays well? Like security or taxi. You could earn enough to be able to move out and then find a shared accommodation with decent housemates. If you don't want to do an odd job try to get a job in your field so that you have a set routine for atleast weekdays. Get a gym membership and work on those muscles. Helps a lot with self-confidence and satisfaction. The last thing you wanna do in your current situation is run after girls. Be independent 1st and then think of relationships.

    Lack of family support must be a huge blow, I can understand that but I'm sure you must have that one special best friend who always understands you and helps you out. Try to talk to such people asap so that you don't get deceived again. Other than that, if you're a practicing Muslim then always remember that your creator's love for you is greater than the love of 70 mothers. He is always there for you but he does test you just like he tested his beloved prophets. Don't be discouraged by hardships, rather adapt yourself and your mindset to overcome them. Learn from your hardships, always remember your good times and keep in mind that hard times have passed before hence this too shall pass and hopefully you'll be joking about it here on PP in the near future.

    Best of luck.

  7. #87
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    Thanks everyone for the support. It makes me feel better that their are people around that don't think I'm a loser.

  8. #88
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    Call me cynical but something doesn't add up here.

    You are 21, your web access has protection from adult sites - basically porn - you have no TV etc, but you have a Smartphone or some comms device from which you are posting here?

    So you are depressed and full of anxiety because you cannot access adult material?

  9. #89
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sher Khan View Post
    Okay brother. Thanks for sharing. Now their is more to my story. I have a part time job, but my family member also works there. It’s not easy getting a job here.

    Furthermore, one other thing I’m embarassed about is I had a lot of money saved. Around 10,000 dollars which is one million rupees. But I was in a “relationship” recently. I thought she loved me. She was very attractive, but it’s clear she used me. She took all of the money. I’m broke and regretful now. I ask her for help but she says get another job. She won’t give me money back. I spent on her all of it. Buying her designer stuff.

    So practically I have no money and no hope.
    But you believe that the answer to your troubles lies in going clubbing and getting into more of these "relationships"? Clubbing will only make your depression worse, so will pornography.

    The people who have made you their punching bag are acting pretty awful and I hope they find the sense to help you rather than tease you. However, don't listen to those who are trying to turn you against your parents, they're the ones who've raised you while these posters have done nothing for you.

    Talk to your parents about these relatives and siblings that are harming you. Additionally, like some other people have said, start excercising. However, most importantly, try to get close to Allah (SWT) because ultimately it is He who provides peace. Go to the masjid and befriend one of the young scholars there, talk to them about your troubles and I have no doubt that if you go with the right intention, you'll find what you are looking for. Read more of the Quran, with translation. Befriend your parents, trust me dude, no one will love you as much as they do. The edge-lords that are are asking if you are man enough to cut out the two people who love you most, have bigger issues than you do.

    My final bit of advice and this can be accomplished in a few months if you do the above and make dua for it, is to get married. A real, loving relationship and no, it does not have to cost you an arm and leg. However, go seek advice from an alim and definitely speak to your parents about it first so you don't get conned a second time.

    May Allah ta'ala make it easy for you, man. You're not alone. Materialism and the lack of faith has depressed millions of people in countries like Australia. You'll get out of it!

  10. #90
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bilal7 View Post
    But you believe that the answer to your troubles lies in going clubbing and getting into more of these "relationships"? Clubbing will only make your depression worse, so will pornography.

    The people who have made you their punching bag are acting pretty awful and I hope they find the sense to help you rather than tease you. However, don't listen to those who are trying to turn you against your parents, they're the ones who've raised you while these posters have done nothing for you.

    Talk to your parents about these relatives and siblings that are harming you. Additionally, like some other people have said, start excercising. However, most importantly, try to get close to Allah (SWT) because ultimately it is He who provides peace. Go to the masjid and befriend one of the young scholars there, talk to them about your troubles and I have no doubt that if you go with the right intention, you'll find what you are looking for. Read more of the Quran, with translation. Befriend your parents, trust me dude, no one will love you as much as they do. The edge-lords that are are asking if you are man enough to cut out the two people who love you most, have bigger issues than you do.

    My final bit of advice and this can be accomplished in a few months if you do the above and make dua for it, is to get married. A real, loving relationship and no, it does not have to cost you an arm and leg. However, go seek advice from an alim and definitely speak to your parents about it first so you don't get conned a second time.

    May Allah ta'ala make it easy for you, man. You're not alone. Materialism and the lack of faith has depressed millions of people in countries like Australia. You'll get out of it!
    What do you mean bro? So you think getting close to Allah and becoming religious will help me? How bro? My parents are strict because of the religion factor.

  11. #91
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sher Khan View Post
    What do you mean bro? So you think getting close to Allah and becoming religious will help me? How bro? My parents are strict because of the religion factor.
    I disagree man, nothing will help until you get more freedom.

    Unfortunately in Pakistani (and other South Asian) culture, mental health isn't taken seriously due to the emphasis of religion. Praying won't help, just work on a plan to get out of your current situation (and I don't necessarily mean moving out, while that would be idea, any amount of autonomy will help alleviate your pain).

  12. #92
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    Quote Originally Posted by Technics 1210 View Post
    Call me cynical but something doesn't add up here.

    You are 21, your web access has protection from adult sites - basically porn - you have no TV etc, but you have a Smartphone or some comms device from which you are posting here?

    So you are depressed and full of anxiety because you cannot access adult material?
    I’m not depressed coz I can’t access adult material. I wouldn’t want to either way. But it hurts me and makes me conscious seeing the control settings on my PC. It’s as if my parents don’t trust me. They think I’m a kid.

    Bro, my girlfriend just ran over me and took 10,000 dollars. Maybe if I was more familiar with women and allowed to interact with them and see them. I could have avoided this situation.

  13. #93
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tubs View Post
    I disagree man, nothing will help until you get more freedom.

    Unfortunately in Pakistani (and other South Asian) culture, mental health isn't taken seriously due to the emphasis of religion. Praying won't help, just work on a plan to get out of your current situation (and I don't necessarily mean moving out, while that would be idea, any amount of autonomy will help alleviate your pain).
    Yes bro. I’m considering that idea a poster posted about moving to a different state or country for studies. I’m sure my parents would let. It’s for studies, my future. It will open me up more living by myself and I will become responsible. Like they want.

  14. #94
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sher Khan View Post
    Yes bro. I’m considering that idea a poster posted about moving to a different state or country for studies. I’m sure my parents would let. It’s for studies, my future. It will open me up more living by myself and I will become responsible. Like they want.
    Haha, I believe that poster was me.

    Good luck man, I'm very happy that it's a realistic possibility for you!

  15. #95
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    I have seen many brown parents who thinks depression and anxiety are a phase. Seen that happen to couple of my friends. It's quite sad. Hope you make a full recovery. Depression and anxiety should never be taken lightly.

  16. #96
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    Quote Originally Posted by AFM View Post
    Dude, grow up.
    It takes a lot of courage to seek help for depression, espacially talking about it in an open forum. Why do you feel like you need to kick the man down when he is already down and under? Not cool at all. If you have never experienced depression, nor have you witnessed anyone who has experienced it, it's clearly hard for you to understand.

  17. #97
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    Quote Originally Posted by light View Post
    It takes a lot of courage to seek help for depression, espacially talking about it in an open forum. Why do you feel like you need to kick the man down when he is already down and under? Not cool at all. If you have never experienced depression, nor have you witnessed anyone who has experienced it, it's clearly hard for you to understand.
    The only person who has given the OP sound and good advice is @Bilal7. And the OP just scoffed it.

    Again, OP, grow up.


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