Breaking News...New Pacer Found!!!

[Monsee]

I am willing to step in...

By Katha Choona New’s correspondent Mr. Butt’s Chutnee / Chutnee’s Butt and his new Assistant Mr. Bhootiya Biryani Waala (Some angry people do start his name with the next letter of the alphabet)




In a late development, Pakistan's long serving son aka Malshiya Extraordinaire, One Mr. Arshad Khan...has announced his plans to return to the National team as a 'FAsT Bowler' to fill the voyage left by Shoaib’s earned vacation!

Speaking to Chutnee Bhootiya team, he said "I know Pakistan team is suffering and since I have been free these days from my Malshiya responsibilities, I have been secretly training and have developed a long run up and high arm action. I have also worked on my physique and can proudly say that I am looking more and more like Shoaib each day"



Arshad: Clearly inspired by Shoaib’s work ethic and Grand Physique




Upon hearing that news, Inzi said, ‘The Youngster deserve a chance and we can check him out in the next game, in place of Samina…who has an eye rash after staring at all the SA players during the test series’



Arshad the Youngster...





Upon heraing this news and after seeing him in the nets...Bob declared him as one of the best Line-n-length bowlers he has seen in a long time and said that now we have a complete team with two bowlers who can bowl long spells when Mr. ‘CoughFAsTCoughUNFITCoughCough' gets selected again



Bob has been impressed by Arshad's work ethic





Mr. Chief Selector aka Wasim Sathiya Bari also immediately gave an interview and had this to say ‘I have seen his recent record and this young boy’s record speaks for itself; he has been one of the most impressive bowlers on the circuit and can serve us for a long time.’

When pointed by pointed by Mr. Bhootiya that it was his old record as a spinner from 2 years ago…Bari accidentally replaced the ‘B’ with ‘C’ (in reporter's name) and said listen ‘I know when I see a good player and I am sure he will blow the others team away…and also Taufeeq will be making a come back soon, after scoring monstrously in the local ‘Galli Mohalla’ leagues’ (he gave credit to a Youngster Miggy Laal Bahadur for this news)



Bari talking with Bhootiya Biryani team and others





Mr. Bakwaas Nawaz, not to be left behind, also issued a statement saying ‘I worked with Arshad for two hours and taught him all there is to know about Fast Bowling…including RS, In Swing, Out Swing, etc. and also showed him the advantages of eating ‘Shataala’ (Horse Feed)’


Mr. Shataala Man (Ghoraa)





He further said, ‘Oye Bhootni di Butt, I have been eating Shataala for ages and look how my command and knowledge of things have improved…it is a must for fast bowlers…Arshad with his good height will be a really dangerous bowler unlike the little pesky Sreesanth who is finished as a bowler’



Sarfraz worked with Arshad and showed him benefits of eating Shataala too





These accolades from all and sundry continued with 'Sheikh Tuunn Moin Khan Joruu Beater' adding the following...'I think Arshad is a great new find and that if Pak needs a better goal keeper than Akmal…I am willing to make a comback’

(This was stated from his cell number 420 from the famous Laaloo Khait Jail in Karachi)



Moin talking from Jail





Biryani Butt team also revealed that Inzi has been secretly working hard for the role too…he has developed a new action and a run up which requires him slowly lunging forward and take a grand total of two steps before delivering the ball…some have reported that Inzi was bowling in excess of 95 MPH and was geared up to break Mr. FAsT Man’s record soon ...



Inzi reportedly bowling 'Phaast berry berry Phaast





Please stay tuned for further late breaking developments on this issue…

[Amir]

haha lovely piece monsee

[PlanetPakistan]

aray Mansoor bhai what on earth is wrong with you

[Monsee]

Originally Posted by PlanetPakistan aray Mansoor bhai what on earth is wrong with you

Kiya hua mian...Mr. Butt Bhootni di Biryani to nahin kha li aap nain

[PlanetPakistan]

Originally Posted by Monsee Kiya hua mian...Mr. Butt Bhootni di Biryani to nahin kha li aap nain

jee abhee waheen say too aa raha hoon...Butt kee Biyani sath molla jatt kee firnee!

[khalidali7070]

lol
nice work man

I wonder how his runup would be like

[khalidali7070]

MUSHI THE cone head kulfi wala will be looking forward for arshad to join the pakistani camp so he can start working on him...................

[shan]

brilliant

[Amoeba]

Top piece!
Need to change my avator - that really is a great picture of our hero!
As long as the youngster keeps working hard - especially in the eating departement then I'm sure he can one day emulate Shoaib's legendary fitness status.

[Sultan Yusuf]

How do you fill a voyage???

well done monsee, you really are a funny guy, the kapil one was the best, do that again!

[iZeeshan]

Brillaint!

[Monsee]

Thanks guys!



Khalidali...I am sure he must have learnt a thing or two from the Ferrari Man; with a similar physique and work ethic, I am quite sure he will be able to to bowl 3-4 overs at top speed (complete with that run up)



Amoeba...that really is a Great Pic of Mr. Shataala Man; looks every bit a top 'Maaan Da Hero' (as they say in Punjabi). I am sure the youngster will be alright with all these top physically fit athletes around him to look up to; anyway, breaking down after every half/quarter of an innings can't be that difficult?



Naved, are you Kapil by any chance ; why don't you do Kapil from now on since I have left him alone. In fact, from now on it will be Shiri Naved Kapil for me

[shahid afr3d]

how long did it take to type that message. inzi bowling...fast!!!!... theres a better chance that kamran akmal will never drop a catch in his life than INZI BOWLING FAST lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[shahid afr3d]

Originally Posted by khalidali7070 lol nice work man I wonder how his runup would be like

He wouldn't need a runup... there would be no point

[Sultan Yusuf]

Originally Posted by Monsee Naved, are you Kapil by any chance ; why don't you do Kapil from now on since I have left him alone. In fact, from now on it will be Shiri Naved Kapil for me

Oh you're just too good at kapil ones! Come on, one more kapil, do that again!

[SlowRightArm]

Excellent nutcase scenario, and I think it should be tried just because no batsman would know what to expect, a big clueless expression of constermation flexing on their brow as Inzi rumbles in, like a steamroller on sedatives...

[Monsee]

I am sure this youngster Arshad Khan must be pondering as to why he didn't get a call up ahead of an old and 'Due to Deliver' (For years now) person like Azhar?

Of all the wrongs I see with today's society...this takes the cake!

Arshad the Youngster, with his Beera like Height and Shoaib like: Action, run up, commitment, and not to forget the primed Shoaib like Physique...would be too much of an intimidating factor for SA batsmen to face

[Monsee]

One last bump before this master piece goes to the next page

[WasimG]

Shouldn't this be in Off Topic / Time Pass? Or maybe in a new forum called 'Time Waste'?

[Foozee]

Butt’s Chutnee

tastes like **** probably

[Monsee]

Originally Posted by HunkyPunky Shouldn't this be in Off Topic / Time Pass? Or maybe in a new forum called 'Time Waste'?

Thanks for the kind words...do I know you from somewhere, you do sound familiar



Foozee, you are unique man

[sneekysneeky]

monsee aaj kal full form main!

[Monsee]

Originally Posted by sneekysneeky monsee aaj kal full form main!

What's up Bhai sahab...how is Hassan?

Is he still up to his daily healthy diet

[sameer]

buhat hi farigh hy mashaallah

[Monsee]

Originally Posted by sameer buhat hi farigh hy mashaallah

Hein

Kii Pushto boll diti jaay Paa Jee

[SameerM]

i think he said .. u have to much free time..
(farig as in free)

[Monsee]

Originally Posted by SameerM i think he said .. u have to much free time.. (farig as in free)

I got that much too but then he said 'Mashallah' at the end?

That threw me off...it seems by that remark that he thinks it's a good thing to have so much time?

[Asim2Good]

Monsee you disoppinted me yaar

I thought it would be about new Indian Shoaib Akhter known as Eshaan or Ishaan who is supposed to b more than 6 feet and ready to go

[Monsee]

Originally Posted by Asim2Good Monsee you disoppinted me yaar I thought it would be about new Indian Shoaib Akhter known as Eshaan or Ishaan who is supposed to b more than 6 feet and ready to go

Usually all of them NEW Indian pacers start at: 7' foot or around it, monsterously well built, bowling at F3 Tornado category speeds (i.e. 150-200 MPH), and able to take wickets while having one hand tied behind their backs...

A few weeks/months at the MRF Spinner's Academy...and they look like this

[iZeeshan]

Monsee bhai, you are simply a genius. This one I say, was your best ever.

[Monsee]

Try the 'ICC issues a statement one'...the one that is closed

[Monsee]

I guess time to bump this thread, so we can use the services of this young-isssssh Fast Bowler who is just dying to serve his country

he is the answer to all our prayers during this current crises

[FAM]

Genious!!

[12thMan]

I hope he is not injured. Send him in or maybe test him in Dentonic commercial first to see if he will be good enough and progress to pepsi

[Monsee]

Originally Posted by 12thMan I hope he is not injured. Send him in or maybe test him in Dentonic commercial first to see if he will be good enough and progress to pepsi

I am more worried about his aggression...we shall let him hang out around the A team; if he hits a few with bat, it means he is ready for the Senior Team!

What shall we call him though: Maalshiya Express?

[12thMan]

maybe "Liyari Jet". karachi has talent too

[Monsee]

Originally Posted by 12thMan maybe "Liyari Jet". karachi has talent too

How about LalooKhait Tayaraa

[Oxy]

Originally Posted by Monsee How about LalooKhait Tayaraa

Isnt that offensive to LalooKhaitis?

[12thMan]

Originally Posted by Monsee How about LalooKhait Tayaraa

Tayaraa is nice. I was stuck with Jet and Shuttle

[Mercenary]

You need to be overweight, huff and puff anytime you bowl more than 2 overs on the trot, never complete a series, miss half the matches, be willing to assualt team members (or the coach) and have Samurai level skills with a blade made of willow!

Do you fit the bill?

[12thMan]

Originally Posted by Monsee How about LalooKhait Tayaraa

wait a min! why urdu for Karachi pacer and English for Punjab? Express should be tezgaam first. I like my Jet better

[Monsee]

Originally Posted by Mercenary You need to be overweight, huff and puff anytime you bowl more than 2 overs on the trot, never complete a series, miss half the matches, be willing to assualt team members (or the coach) and have Samurai level skills with a blade made of willow! Do you fit the bill?

I don't know about Mr. Lalookhait Tezgaam but I myself might be fit to apply for that position soon

[Monsee]

Originally Posted by 12thMan wait a min! why urdu for Karachi pacer and English for Punjab? Express should be tezgaam first. I like my Jet better

So are you saying it is a Bias from a Punjabi against a Sindhi...I am sure Altaf Bhai would like to demonstrate against this injustice too

OK, if you must insist, how about Lalookahitiya Foker it is...jet is going a bit too far here

[Monsee]

Originally Posted by Oxy Isnt that offensive to LalooKhaitis?

To them everything is offensive...that is why they always keep a good supply of 'Eents and Pathars' readily available for any last minute demonstration

[12thMan]

Orangi 2 Korangi aik hi nara hey "Lalukhet hamara hey"

[Monsee]

Originally Posted by 12thMan Orangi 2 Korangi aik hi nara hey "Lalukhet Tezgaam hamara hey"

[P4K1 #1]

Monsee smashed it man.. lolll