TSN Rankings: Pakistan continues its steady rise in rankings

[MIG]

Now, this is what we really like to hear ! (With apologies to Gulli Danda fans....)

Pakistan continues its steady rise in rankings By our village idiot reporter London – As sober looking English crowds retreated in shock from Edgbaston on Monday night, pursued by jubilantly hysterical Pakistani supporters, it was announced that the Pakistan cricket team had gained 10 more points to take second position in global rankings. The rankings, maintained and polished by the International Gulli Danda Associaton (IGDA) now show Pakistan as 2nd in this sport, still lagging behind Sheikhupura GD Club. In an exclusive yet secret interview to The Source News (TSN), Pakistan GD Associations top honcho iButt, explained in full the significance and thought process behind these rankings in his usual polite manner. “Oh bewaqoof Idiot – ba tameez Urdu Medium - It is very simple” he began. “Any fool will know that the real reason behind our team and management selection was simply a front, a façade of Zardariesque proportions to actually prepare Pakistan for the next Gulli Danda tournament!” To further illustrate his point, he mentioned example of Imran Farhat who he believes represents the hopes and feet of Gulli Danda in Pakistan. “Immy beta has great hand-to-foot-to-mouth coordination and can hit a gulli with his danda at remarkable speeds. If pushed, he can also run with a rolling tyre, while repeatedly hitting it with a stick to make it go faster”, stated Mr. iButt – “All he needs is a little practice and someone to catch the gulli – so I have asked my other expert in catching matters and chapatti making, Kamran Akmal, to work with him” Mr. iButt also added that he also had great hopes for Pakistans other upcoming GD star, Shoaib Malik who he felt could provide the support for Akmal and Farhat by explaining the game by looking it up on google and then doing the chicken dance when confronted with danger” Although Mr. IButt was full of praise for the current Pakistani team and its steady rise to the top in GD Rankings, he did reserve his most stringent criticism for the likes of Saeed Ajmal and Zulqarnain Hyder whom he likened to “Very bad people, bent upon destroying the reputation of Pakistan as world class Gulli Danda experts” – he promised to take action unless these 2 as well as the other marginal GD players such as Aamer and AsIf did not up their game and take up proper Gulli danda by tomorrow morning.