Tendulkar fans dumbfounded by shocking revelations(TSN)

Some of us would say "We told you so" but who listens to the voice of reason on PP , eh ?

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Tendulkar fans dumbfounded by shocking revelations
By our investigations correspondent

Mumbai: Cricket fans accross India have been stunned by revelations from Dholki.com (an Indian media organization , specializing in tantalizing and embarrassing exposures of the rich, famous and the plain ugly ) that Sachin Tendulkar, India’s master batsman is indeed Sania Mirza the latest tennis prodigy in disguise. These startling revelations have come to light in a documentary filmed by Dholki.com and aired on a private satellite channel last night. The film shows Sania Mirza cleverly disguised as the master batsman, putting on a Sachin mask, complete with MRF earrings and Samsung shoes and cap, driving off in his tax exempt Ferrari.

As millions watched the documentary in stunned silence on TV last night, the question on everyone’s lip was "could it be true ?". To answer this rather simple but mathematically complex question, TheSourceNews spoke to the maker of last nights documentary, very cleverly titled "The S Mystery - Sachin, Sania or both?" The award winning filmmaker, MP Krishnan was unapologetic when confronted by your correspondent. He said "Look we have now unearthed a major scandal or truth to be clear, and everyone is beating up their chests or even chest beating!". He continued "We knew something was funny when Sachin complained about a tennis elbow at almost the same time as Sania was busy playing in the tennis tournament - nobody knew why and guess what happens when the Sania finishes the tournament? He is suddenly FINE - now if that isnt a coincidence, what is?". As he lit another cigarette which smelled pungent and felt kinda good - he spoke again "This Sachin thinks he can fool us Indians with some cock and bull story about holding the bat this way or that way - but now we can prove that the injury was caused due to playing Tennis and not Cricket!".

MP Krishnan then produced 2 pictures of the Tennis star and Sachin, proving beyond any shade of doubt that the two are the same.
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In Mumbai, the Wankhede stadium wore a deserted look. As shocked and silent ground staff went about their jobs digging a hole here and there on the pitch, some spoke of their fears and disappointments. For Mig-a-nath Bachan, an octogenarian in charge of painting the electrified fences, which will separate the good-natured fans from the players in the upcoming series with Pakistan, life could not get any crueler. True that he had already suffered due to incompetence of BCCI when someone turned on the electricity WHILE he was painting, he does consider this the final straw. He said "For years I have looked on proudly as generation after generation of Indian cricketers did this land proud but today, I am a broken man - Mind you some of us knew that something was amiss. Have been telling everyone for years that you cant get a tennis injury by playing cricket - no one hears us old people! What really hurts me now is that we will never know if the other players are also leading a double life - what if, if Harbajan turns out to be Zaheer Khan, our fastest bowler ? Hey hang on, didnt Harbajan open the bowling attack once, didnt he?"

Our sports correspondent adds:

Indian cricketers of yesterday, today and tomorrow have all expressed their condemnation of the Sachin. In a statement read out in front of newsman (TheSourceNews were the only organization invited to this ), the legendary Indian born bowler, Abey Kuruvilla said " We the Indian cricketers of yesterday, today and tomorrow condemn Sachins actions". In private, Abey admitted that this was no surprise to the players as they had seen Sachin smashing bowling all over the park "like it was a tennis ball or something". Navjot Sidhu, another player of note quipped in his usual hysterically funny manner "You can take a Sachin out of Sania but you cant take a Sania out of Sachin - ha ha ha". As most present tried to make sense of that statement, he quickly noted this down in a notebook to repeat adNauseum on TV.

Finally, among the newer players, when questioned Rahul Dravid was steadfast in his support. He spoke to us after finishing a nets session at a local stadium - he said "Look Sachin’s a great player and great players can take on any shape they want - personally I don’t believe this trash". He then merrily put on a sari and a Sonia Gandhi mask, leaving us in shock, as he drove away with her bodyguards.

[TheSourceNews or is it the TheNewsSource ?]

:oD

:oD :oD :oD :oD :oD

u keep getting better MIG.

As both a Sania and Sachin fan this was brilliant stuff

:oD

lol

Superb stuff MIG :oD :oD :oD :oD :oD

Just keeps getting better

another excellent read MIG janab. Of course added to the Satire section.

Sorry Saj, was going to ask you tomorrow but you got there first !!

Thanks

:oD :oD :oD
This has to be the best one so far. Classic

Am I the only one who thinks that is Ganguli not Sachin in the pciture? maybe I missed the joke ;)

if you stare at the picture long enough (2 hours 12 mins to be exact) it changes into sachin. just have to be a little more patient ...

:oD :oD :oD :oD :oD :oD :oD :oD :oD :oD :oD :oD

"He then merrily put on a sari and a Sonia Gandhi mask, leaving us in shock, as he drove away with her bodyguards. "

Most hilarious part for me!

:oD :oD :oD :oD

Scintillating Mig, well done again. the whole idea of again takes away the beauty of well done but we'll make an exception :oD

and what was even better was and marooned will vouch for it,

"Sorry Saj, was going to ask you tomorrow but you got their first !! "

:oD :-D

:oD :oD

Mig: Forgive me as I may be wrong, but did you by any chance mean 'there' instead of 'their'? :oD :oD :oD

Also 'knew' instead of 'new' in the first para after the pic perhaps? :-D :oD

Excellent read. This one is right up there with the best (such as the 'staircase' and 'slow thinking' ones).

Also, your response is awaited in the 'positive look ahead' thread :-D

:oD :oD :oD

"As he lit another cigarette which smelled pungent and felt kinda good "

now this part I liked :oD

Keep it up lads :oD :oD :oD :oD :oD

PP is killing the proteges of Wren and Martin :oD

Wheres amjid?? The Vile thing :oD

Classics...all of them! To think, some 'invaders' wanted to disband the satire section!!!

I hope you are gathering material for the forthcoming series, Mig-a-nath!!!

who wanted to disband the satire??? :-^ :-^ :-^ :-^

PCN crew.

Oh rite, didnt know that!
probably a good thing they went back if they dont find the satire section funny!

HaHaHa an instant classic :oD

We are not worthy MIG, We are not worthy

BTW, why is it that Tendulkari Bi Bi is made fun of (for leading a double life) and you get away scot free while leading a double life yourself: One as MIG (The Mod) and other as the Vicious and Life Sucking Bore AKA Barney :?d |-G

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Monsee !! great to see you back and biting !!

About Barney et al, well , ya know how it is I paid some money to some guys here and they let me get away with things.......( Farhad knows as he is a fellow Habibian !)

Hope you are well in Pakistan ??

Whaaaaat you talk about Mehroooned ! I istudy Anglish Medium for 3 whole days - I am knowing the English langhuage like the back of my haath! Baray Aya Velayat say, Dekh laingay School kay baat !!










:-D

That was part of the joke - I wanted to show the sheer stupidity of these so called journalists such that they didnt even know what pic they were comparing!


Just to explain what I try and do in these stories......

What is TheSourceNews ?

Have you ever wondered who the "source" is in all the stories about Pakistani and Indian cricket and how some journalists in the cricketing world, have made careers out of quoting "unnamed sources" and attributing their personal views to these mysterious and unnamed "sources"? If so, you have come to the right place!!

On this site we attempt to write short stories on current issues and give these the "source" flavour - thus the name, TheSourceNews ! Hopefully this will expose the mediocrity that is creeping into cricket journalism today, and also provide a few laughs on the way !

You have me convinced ;)

bumpy bumpy....

Check this out:

http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?latest=1

Go and rank it there if you like !!