Muslim girl flees London to wed her internet Hindu

Muslim girl flees London to wed her internet Hindu
By Shekhar Bhatia and Lucy Bannerman

IT IS a tale of forbidden love that has delighted the Indian press. But a Muslim schoolgirl’s decision to flee from London to India to marry a Hindu man she met on the internet has not exactly pleased her parents.

Subia Gaur, 18, from Plaistow, East London, and Ashwani Gupta, 21, began chatting online three years ago. Such was her parents’ opposition to the romance that the teenager secretly caught a flight to Delhi and abandoned her strict religious upbringing to become a wife in Ghaziabad.

The couple emerged from hiding this week to marry in Mr Gupta’s home town, 60 miles from Delhi, in a ceremony broadcast across the subcontinent. More than 1,000 uninvited guests turned up to witness the marriage, whose star-crossed path has been likened to a Bollywood plotline.

The bride’s family had lodged a claim with local police that she had been abducted. In turn, she claimed that relatives had issued death threats against her, her husband and her father-in-law because she had married a Hindu. They are living under police protection.

The parents denied the allegations, claiming that despite their efforts to protect their daughter they had been beaten by the “evil internet”. They said that they had first learnt of the wedding when they tuned into an Indian satellite TV channel. Subia said: “I knew the first time I met Ashwani in person that he was the one I was going to marry. It’s hard for people to understand what we have been through.

“My family have put a lot of pressure on me and I didn’t want to hurt them, but I had to be with the man I love. Religion doesn’t matter. I’m Muslim and he is Hindu. I’m not converting and he doesn’t want me to. Ashwani and his family accepted me for who I am.”

The couple spent hours chatting online, exchanging photographs and conversing in Hindi and English. They did not meet until April, when Subia travelled to India to meet her grandparents in Bombay. Mr Gupta made the 700-mile journey from Delhi to see her.

She returned to London to take her A levels. To escape the arranged marriage she said her parents had planned for her, Subia took a second flight to Delhi, and did not return.

“I knew they would never accept Ashwani,” she said. “We thought if we got married then they wouldn’t be able to take me back. I haven’t had any contact with my friends or my younger brother and sister. It’s been very stressful and we’ve had to go into hiding.”

Abdul Gaur, 46, a shop manager who arrived in Britain in 1999, made a tearful plea yesterday for his daughter to come home. “She is part of my body, my first-born child, and it is madness to say that we could harm her in any way,” he said. “She is just 18 years old and I believe she has been brainwashed. She doesn’t understand what she has done.

“She is a Muslim above all and she has married a Hindu and that is the most shocking thing about this, not that she has lied to us and married against our wishes.

“The girls are teenagers and were not allowed out after school or college and certainly not near men. But we could do nothing to protect out daughter from the evil of the internet. While we slept this evil came into our home and has led to our daughter running away and marrying a Hindu boy.”

His wife, Fameeda, 37, said that they would accept Mr Gupta, who is studying to become a financial analyst, if he converted to Islam.

The marriage has divided opinion in India. Some have praised the couple for daring to bridge the religious divide. Others have castigated the teenager for marrying so young and upsetting her parents.

Subia said that she was dismayed by the interest in her life. “I was a normal 18-year-old Londoner before this. I never wanted the attention that I’ve received. But if there is someone in my position, I hope my story gives them the courage to follow their heart.”


Love on the run

# Stacey Furneaux, 17, eloped to Gretna in September 2004 to marry a 64-year-old publican. They are trying for a baby

# Stephen Laing, 17, and Amanda McDonnell, 14, took an 800-mile journey across Europe, stealing to survive. They were found by police; they said they would marry when Amanda reaches 16

# In 2003 Rachael Lloyd, 14, vowed to marry her Turkish boyfriend, Mehmet Sedat Ocak, when he was freed from jail for statutory rape. She had second thoughts and finished the relationship

# Also in 2003, Naomi Mills, 15, from the West Midlands, eloped to Scotland with Matthew Brooks, 22, a probationary police officer. They later got engaged

# Last year Margaret O’Brien, 14, and her cousin, James O’Brien, 23, both from the traveller community, fled from Teesside to Northern Ireland. A priest refused to marry them. James was charged with abduction; Margaret was returned home

London must be bad if someone is willing to leave the place for India

and they say romance is dead

Mod Edit:

Plaistow is.

cindi, care to explain? just to tell you, i dont think your allowed to marry a non muslim..

nice story...good job woman! fight for your love and be happy, it's the only way to live!

I find breathing is a pretty good option aswell

A ghetto girl flees Eat London to India. Atleast she knows for sure that she is not in London any more (she never was here in the first place). Ever seen the Bengali prostitutes in White Chappel area? They live together the 'preserve' their faith. Their ignorance catches up with them and then they cry. Some Muslim upbringing indeed!

sigh.. teenagers are so naive.

Another proof that the Indian IT eperts are conquering the world!

aakhir shaadi ho hi gayi yaara tumhari

I am sure this Muslim upbringing included a daily dose of 2-3 Bollywood films alongwith hijab etc. What a muddle. These people are laughable

yah man, over 2 months ago - have been busy with work for the past 2 months

that's good bruv, congratz!

How someone can leave their loved ones for some stranger they met on internet ,I will never understand..If this is love,hope i never fall into it!

You will never understand this because you were never involved in such a situation. Internet 'affairs' might be odd; some of them yes, but not all. How can someone marry a complete stranger (aka; Arrange Marriage) and have sex with them on their first night. This has been happening for centuries in our culture; why cant someone be happy with someone who they KNOW. This couple's relationship lasted for 3 years; do you actually think that you wouldn't know ANYTHING about a person who you've known for 3 years? Internet chats are not only related with 'cybersex' or 'flirting or asking for asl' - they can become deeply emotional and personal. Just have to find the right person.

I wish this couple the best of luck - though making all this into an open media-drama was highly unnecessary, as it might be embarassing for the Pakistani-Muslim family.. as most of us Pakistani families' parents find love with differnet religions highly unaccepetable.. tss. Again, a display of old cultural thinking.

any pics of this lass
she is in cyber terms,

"easy"

its possible you know a few things about him/her ,but not every thing....dude ,even wen u date a person in real attimes u start thinking' do i really know this person?'....its so damn easy to fool ppl wen they are attracted to you...n this on the internet,how can u even call this a relationship?...the guy cud be just faking everything!

yeah, i agree, there is a possibility, but there are many ways to dodge the doubts.

webcam, telephone, or just a random meeting somewhere; for once; just to see what the person looks like, not all of a sudden ofcourse. just like in real life, there are good people and bad people, same case goes with internet. As for meetings scheduled over the net, one HAS to be careful, and I guess 3 years is just enough time to get to know a person. That's just my opinion yaar.

well....atleast they talked to each other....how can you question this and then not question an arranged marriage. im sure these two knew a hell of a lot more about each other than my parents did.

Exactly my point.

This is madness...

and odd.

that's an excellent point...

who are we to pass judgement on a couple that have dared to first off, fall in love, and second off, honor that love with commitment? That is what I call true love....and it doesn't matter what race, what religion, what country you are from. Love is something that is given from God itself, and it cannot be discriminated against. Love is what life is all about

In another thread a minor girl left Uk for pakistan so yes uk has to be real bad

if she lived in ghetto back in london I can assure you Ghazibad wil look like heaven to her. it's sucha nice place inhabited with middle upepr middle and upper class gentry

yea i know exactly where you are comming from i myself m abt too marry a Sikh grl , and she's willling to leave her parents 4 me

she left scotland and yes that is a bad place

Scotland is heaps better then the dump Newcastle and the less said about your women the better.

Scotland is heaps better then the dump Newcastle and the less said about your women the better.NUFC chairman explained that well a few years back .

"Woman Rights" Zindabad.

are you saying you agree with our chairman? if so then i suggest you get help cos anyone that agrees with the fat idiot needs medical attention asap

anyhow you know scotland is bad when a 12 year old girl would rather live in Pakistan

well when parents allow their kids to be raised by Indian movies, what else do they expect?

when parents don't have constructive dialog with their kids and talk to them as intelligent beings, a disaster is always in the making. it's inevitable that kids are going to look for a mate but it's the parents' job to tell them that they will fully support them in their decision when the time is right and when they're ready for it. but if you tell them that you'll go to hell if you talk to someone from the opposite sex, chances are kids are going to do much more than just talk.

most educated families in Pakistan don't have this problem. unfortunately not many people from this class settled in UK. so, social problems like this are going to get worse as time goes on.

reminds of the case in Toronto of a 16 year old boy marrying a 17 old girl (I don't remember but she might have been pregnant). on the day of the wedding, the boy was drinking or something with his friends and the girl's uncle tried to stop him/them and he/they responded by killing him. on a wedding day for fk's sake. how much more dysfunctional can you get?

Bringing up kids is not as easy as some guys try to make out.

Of course, hypothetically its the easiest thing on earth...

I'm sorry is that meant for me? I have not and would never suggest bringing up kids is easy.

it actually scares me quite a bit when I see couples having kids early and often - even before they've gotten to know each other.

Exactly women's rights zindabaad. She has done no crime just married someone who she loves. I find amusing people giving all sorts of explanations in support of some idiot who goes to kill some newspaper editor in germany but when a girl follows her heart she gets unequivocal thumbs down.

edit : happy now:-)

its not the relegion or nationality that bothers me..!

Shes just 18 years old..if things go wrong n couple of years,she will have no family to go back to!

n tupac,its not the couple,but only the gurl whos taken the risk...the way i see it the guy has little to loose here!

They'll end up on 'Trisha' or worse still, Maachis - it wont last; relationship has been built up on disasterous foundations.

All relationships need some family element to them - even if its just to argue with all day long!

The religion is not even an issue - they are just too young. I mean, you cant find out faults online whilst chatting - you could be lying! And you would be marring into a lie!

Saying that - I'm all for it..............

we should thank the girl, atleast it brought ga out of his exile

In typical middle class indian family marriage is forever. Rest assured she will lead a happy life. Although point taken important decisions like marriage should not be taken that early .

Love marriages do succeed yes percentage of success is les than arranged one but they do succeed.

This is not really a typical 'Love marriage' - its a broadband fuelled lust fest without any real interaction other than online.

Its not like they met and met up in libraraies (isnt that where Asian meet)

So all the worst kind of horror story comes to mind.:-( I am sure had it been a hindu girl leaving Uk to marry her muslim net-friend in pakistan you must be sending good wishes. Give the por girl best wishes why expect for the worst.

I would say you harbour some preconceived notions about net-interaction. Not every net interaction is text-fornication. She is In Uk if lust had been the reason she could do it all in london itself. Nobody marries for lust only yes physical attraction plays some role in it and why not. It's not easy daring to do what she has done so I will give her benefit of doubt. Nobody needs to go to India from london to satisfy their lust.

Oxy bhai, what other interactions would you say strengthen a relationship in real life that are not present online?

Wealthy future in-laws....which is where I went wrong.

Well I attended a wedding of 2 individuals that met on a Pak forum and that was 5 years ago and things are still very strong.

But they were late 20s/early 30s - not 16....which is my point. They are too young.

Yes their age is concern but then my mother got married while she was fifteen although arranged one. Marriages do last in our part of the world despite all the problems so I would wish well for them.

But this is NOT arranged.

[U][B]when Subia travelled to India to meet her grandparents in Bombay. [B]Mr Gupta made the 700-mile journey from Delhi to see her.

the girl is Indian not a pakistani

Its only a brief return - im going back to work on monday and until i get Internet access sorted il have to do without PP

where u at and wat u doing?

well that doesn't mean it is sure to fail. let us wish her well.

what kind of work is this?

and, go insult mcgrath in that mcgrath thread. Have become tired of teaching these kids on my own.

He is 'driving' reseach into the field of 'human transportation' - cabbie to you & me:0

worthing and i am doing my industrial placement, am working as an assistant site manager for McCarthy and Stone - The largest builder of private retirement homes and flats in the UK, i got the tagline going already

You are right, but only because you are speaking from one perspective of online chatting relationship - the negative one.

And yes my opinion might be 'positively-biased' - but I guess even if you look at their situation from a 'diplomatic' point of view.. the relationship doesnt sound as immature as you are making it to be. I do agree on them being young and they might not know yet completely as in what's right or wrong; which might be a reason why you are being negative here.

I personally dont think any individual can determine if the relationship is mature or immature, only the final results will tell what this relationship is worth - if anything like a divorce occurs - that would mean the decision was a hasty one, and they weren't meant to be and whatnot.

People are different; not everyone would be lying over the net, I mean look at real life situations; there are some couples (speaking of Arranged MArriages) who get married, and the following night the bride comes back home saying that the husband was beating her and whatnot, could the girl's family ever assume that the daughter's family would be so mean and evil? Nope. Meaning, even in real life people lie; so virtual lies should not be taken THAT seriously when matters as such (in real life) are ignored.

british passport.

sounds like you want to work for them...

where u based?

http://www.mccarthyandstone.co.uk/

Good one! And quite true to be honest!

The girl is 18 and can do whatever she pleases. It's not the end of the world if she fell in love with a Hindu.

As for falling in love online, love is blind so I think it's quite possible to fall in love online if you chat with the person a lot, exchange pics, talk on the phone, etc. She's known the guy for 3 years and I think that is long enough to determine whether he's real or not.

^

Im working for the south east region this year. im working at a development at East Preston which is about 5 miles west of Worthing, West Sussex

They are a good company so i wudnt mind working for them on a long term basis BUT only for the north east region

noemally i don't agree with those of stuff but goodluck to them and let them have a prosperous relationship. Love conquers all.

When you force an "arranged" marriage on your children, then of course they will look for alternatives.

Personally I think she is old enough to make decisions for herself. If this is what she wants then good luck to both of them.

shes 18

im 19

you dont know at this age what you really want

She has known the guy for 3 years and once your 18 you should be able to take responsibility for yourself and your actions.

She obviously believes that this is what she wants. Who are we to disagree?

I dont feel sorry for the parents as there must be a loophole in the works somewhere to enbale her to fly off without a word.

Yes, the loophole; or something at fault; is oppression due to the cultural and religious bindings that has been going on for CENTURIES. Some people are oppressed, but others flee/fightback/escape because they can't take it; it mainly depends on the parents, as to how much pressure they put on children about certain things. From the looks of things, it was way too much for her to handle, so she fleed as she didnt prolly see any other alternative.

Wait untill you hit 40 and then you would realise this is NOT what you would have wanted!!!!!!!!!!!

She's an adult and doesn't require consent from her parents for anything.

I think the bi.. is getting more attention than she, in her penny worth of life, deserves. I, for one, do NOT favor posting such good-for-nothing threads. If anything, it may very well end up misguiding other teenagers in here!

i didnt she needed consent

technically shes an adult but no 18 year old can make a decision that will shape the rest of her life

shes known him 3 years

so when she was 15.. come on

if it was three years from when she was 18 fair enough

but she was a kid when she was gathering her first impressions of him

Talk about being judgemental!

Good point.

thats what im trying to say . . well said