It's war! (Ian Chappell)

good one from Ian Chappell

http://bulletin.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=159786

It's war!
Friday, November 10, 2006
The Ashes goes beyond cricket. It's a pitched battle out there, with bad blood going back more than a century. And Ponting wants revenge. By Ian Chappell.

I once asked Jeff Thomson why he thought Ashes series were so intensely competitive: "Aw mate, those Pommy ******** think we're just colonials so you've got to stick it up 'em," replied the laconic fast bowler.

There is one Australian in particular who will concur with Thommo's strong sentiments. In the 123 years since the tense battles began, there have been only 38 Australian Ashes captains. Twelve of those skippers have suffered the ignominy of losing the urn, Ricky Ponting being the latest.

That is why - even though public expectation for the upcoming series is as high as the peak of Mount Everest - this battle will mean more to Ponting than anybody. Of the 12 who have experienced the anguish of losing the Ashes, only four then balanced the ledger by regaining them. It's a list Ponting will be anxious to join.

The man charged with the job of ensuring Ponting's Ashes saga remains a misery, says he won't shed any tears if the Australian skipper doesn't regain the urn. However, Andrew "Freddie" Flintoff quickly dispelled any notion the Australians were too friendly in 2005. "Not in the middle," says Freddie, "Lee bowlin' 'em at 95 [mph] past your earhole isn't much fun, nor is Warney spinnin' it round your legs - it's relentless."

He might be one of the fiercest and fairest competitors in world cricket, but Flintoff is also a modest champion. His own bowling wasn't any stroll in the park for the Australians, with bouncers in the high 140s[kmh] and swinging the ball away to the left-handers from around the wicket. That is why it's crucial for England that Flintoff is fit to bowl at his best in this series.

At his peak, he is the most influential cricketer in the game and his sphere just widened with his appointment as captain. He was an inspiring figure to his team-mates in the 2005 series, coming on to take a crucial wicket, or bowl a vital spell, or produce an innings of finesse mixed with brutish power. It is expecting a lot of Flintoff to do it all again as well as leading the side, but if anyone can achieve this level of excellence, it is the affable Lancastrian larrikin.

Flintoff scoffs at any suggestion he'll be bothered by Australians, on or off the field, calling him a "Pommy *******". "Naw, not a problem," he laughed.

If it happens, it will be an Australian compliment to a respected opponent. However, a skirmish for the urn can cause people to do strange things and no matter how much respect there is between the two teams, the series won't be played without controversy; it's the one constant in an Ashes series.

So why all this fuss over a creaky, unassuming little urn? What began as a joke in 1882 with a mock obituary in The SportingTimes following a surprise England defeat at The Oval has taken on a more serious note and, just occasionally, threatened to get out of hand. Ashes series have produced a stadium full of heroes and villains and the colourful characters have added to the folklore surrounding this ageless sporting contest.

England's seven-run loss in August 1882 provided all the excitement and tension of Australia's nail-biting defeat at Edgbaston in 2005. It was reported that one spectator "bit through the handle of his umbrella" as Fred "The Demon" Spofforth took 7/44 in bowling Australia to an unlikely victory.

Team-mate George Giffen best summed up Spofforth's menace: "He looked the Demon every inch of him, and I verily believe he has frightened more batsmen out than many bowlers have fairly and squarely beaten."

Among Spofforth's victims at The Oval was the game's first batting maestro, England's Dr W.G. Grace. When Grace played his last Test in 1899, he presented young Australian batsman Victor Trumper with his bat and inscribed it, "From the old champion to the new one".

Trumper lived up to Grace's prediction and no innings better displayed his stroke-playing genius than a knock at Old Trafford in 1902. England captain Archie MacLaren had won the toss and sent Australia in to bat. Rain delayed the start and MacLaren told his players the pitch would be "sticky" after lunch: "So keep Victor quiet. Then we'll bowl them out as quick as they come in."

Instead, the immortal Trumper went on a rampage, scoring a century before lunch. When one of MacLaren's pals chastised him about his misguided ambition, he explained how he'd placed a field to stop Trumper's favourite shots: "So he promptly hit two balls into the practice ground. Did you expect me to put fielders out there?"

Thanks to Trumper's heroics, Australia went on to win a thriller by three runs and retain the Ashes. They were surrendered in 1911-12 when trouble erupted in the Australian camp. During the season there had been a fist fight at a selection meeting between captain Clem Hill and a board member. With the situation still simmering, "The Big Six" (Hill, Trumper, Hanson Carter, Vernon Ransford, Herbert Hordern and Warwick "Big Ship" Armstrong) refused to tour England in 1912.

There were some fine players among the protesters, but the "Big Ship" was the only one to ever represent Australia again. He regained the Ashes as captain in 1920-21 but continued to spar with officialdom, including an ongoing battle with Ernie Bean, a Victorian administrator.

Bean, a teetotaller, was obsessed with bringing Armstrong down. When he saw the "Big Ship" enter the bar and down a couple of gin and tonics before he batted against England in the fourth Test at the MCG, Bean reportedly muttered: "I've got him now."

However, Armstrong was only trying to quiet a malaria attack - not steady a shaky nerve. When Australia slumped from 0/117 to 5/153, he strode to the wicket and completed a superb century. On his return to the pavilion, Bean was the one slumping; it was said he was drunk in a corner of the same bar the "Big Ship" had vacated just hours before.

A serene atmosphere prevailed in Ashes series until Bill Woodfull regained the urn in 1930 thanks to a major contribution from young batting sensation Don Bradman. The batting genius had been dropped against England in 1928-29 but extracted revenge by scoring a record-breaking 974 runs, which remains the record aggregate for any series. The battering from Bradman prompted England to start plotting his downfall. It led to the infamous Bodyline series of 1932-33.

With Douglas Jardine the strategist and Harold Larwood delivering the missiles, the Australians were battered into submission. England virtually halved Bradman's usual average. The series reached boiling point in Adelaide when 'keeper Bertie Oldfield was hit in the head after Woodfull copped a nasty blow over the heart.

At the end of the day's play, the England manager Pelham Warner knocked on the Australian dressing room door and asked to see Woodfull. When my grandfather Vic Richardson, the vice-captain, asked Warner why, he replied: "Because I want an apology from the Australian player who called Larwood a bast*rd."

Vic turned to the Australian dressing room and inquired: "Which one of you blokes mistook Larwood for that bast*rd Jardine?"

A highly principled man, Woodfull refused to respond in kind: he didn't believe it was right for cricket. Vic wanted to fight fire with fire as he had overheard two English batsmen discussing Bodyline: "If Australia retaliates," one said, "I'll tell Jardine to stop it immediately."

Vic always insisted Australia had the fast bowlers to respond. "Don't believe it," he said, "when you read that we didn't have the firepower to retaliate."

England was again painted the villain in 1956 when off-spinner Jim Laker performed an amazing double by claiming all 10 wickets in an innings and a record 19 for the match at Old Trafford.

There had been serious debate about the quality of the pitch, but in the tradition of "all's fair in love and war", the Australians took it on the chin.

However, in 1963 I was at Old Trafford playing for Lancashire when I spotted groundsman Bert Flack in the dressing room. I asked him what that pitch had been like.

"Oooh, 'twere a bad 'un," replied the delightfully frank Flack. "I got message from 'eadquarters to prepare turner, an' it bluudy turned alreet."

Consequently it didn't come as a complete surprise when former Australian opener and journalist Jack Fingleton advised me in 1968: "Ian, never trust the English."

Having played in the Bodyline series, Fingleton's opinion - especially of English administrators - may have been coloured a little, but there was nothing astray with his judgment.

In 1972, the Australian team was on the wrong end of "the fusarium fiasco" at Headingley. The wicket, normally a seamer's paradise, was suddenly transformed into a dream strip for spinner "Deadly" Derek Underwood. What made it difficult to believe the makeover had been an accident was the revelation that the fusarium fungus prospers only in temperatures above 85° Fahrenheit, a mark only reached in Yorkshire when you're sitting in front of a raging log fire on a summer's day.

Fingleton was livid and said so publicly, but the Australian players harnessed their anger and opted instead to get even. We didn't have to wait long and in 1974-75, Jeff Thomson joined forces with Dennis Lillee to give England a thorough going over.

In the first innings of the opening encounter, Lillee was dismissed by a bouncer and on his return to the Gabba dressing room, he uttered the prophetic words: "Just remember who started this", and then after a lengthy pause added, "but we'll [adjectival] finish it."

Many years later, I reflected on the irony of leading Australia in 1974-75 with Lillee and Thomson in harness when my grandfather had wanted to retaliate in the Bodyline series.

From 1989 onwards, there was a distinct lack of need for doctored pitches or dubious tactics in Ashes series. The gap separating the two teams in skill was similar to the distance between the two countries until along came the mercurial "Freddie" Flintoff and his sidekicks, led by Michael Vaughan.

Vaughan's 2005 team, inspired by Flintoff's heroics, revived memories of past ding-dong Ashes contests and players and fans have embraced this coming series as never before. I'm sceptical about reports from the UK writing off England because Vaughan is absent and there have been injuries to the leading bowlers, especially when Flintoff confidently predicts: "We'll win, because the team has a lot of character and we have no fear of failure."

Previous Ashes experiences have led me to the conclusion best expressed by an Australian digger who was asked by his son: "Dad, why do they say the sun never sets on the British Empire?"

"Because, son," the father responded, "not even God would trust the Poms when the lights are out." l

This Ashes is going to be one of the worst ones!
It's going to be a big anti-climax.

I hope not - as bad as it sounds I would love to see England win again.

I think the PomPoms are getting a bit underrated. They're not as bad as some of you are making out. I think they'll struggle to win the series, but it will be more competitive than people think. But if OZ play as well as I know we can play we should win.

Putting up a strong fight at the Gabba is key. If they get rolled at the Gabba then it'll be a long summer, as the press will get stuck in them both here and in the UK. If they can compete, then it'll be a good summer.

Besides, any Ashes is exciting - means summer is here! (Or there, unfortunately. )

Well England doesn't have a quality middle order batsman who can carry the innings.
Apart from Straus all are immature and tresco is out of form.