You can tell its an Asian House when....

the garden is overgrowing with grass and weeds. The last time it was cut was perhaps 6 months ago.

The paint is a patriotic green and white or orange and white.

The smell of chicken karahi can be smelt half way down the street.

There are at least 13 people living in the 2 bedroom terraced house.

Any time someone walks past, the curtain is moved and "aunty" looks out of the window.

Any others ?

Nice post:

When you have that traditional covering of all items e.g. sofas, dining tables, remote controls, Hi-Fi systems

When the galli (hallway) is covered with left-over carpet that you put in your living room

Ill write more once I visit my uncle's house

plastic coverings on the carpet. Although Asians have mostly found some sense and stopped this practice.

When the house looks way different from the others

When there is a huge bag of 'atta' in the kitchen which attracts all the mice and rats from the neighborhood. When the homeowner is willing to wait (and live with rats) weeks and weeks for the council's pest control unit to finally arrive instead of giving a simple call to Rentokil and getting rid of the vermin right away.

When a huge big plasma screen adores the sitting room and everything else is tatty. (The room is too small for that huge big screen and you can count pixels on the screen as you can't sit far away from it)

Laminated floor is new but covered in dust which you can see without exerting your eyesight.

Kitchen door is never closed although the whole place stinks of cooking smells. (I know someone who has removed the kitchen door altogether!)

When you can find nice chandeliers but they display ugly energy-saving bulbs!

A Toyota car on the drive way!

That awful red carpet.

The one with patterns that Dad brought from Pakistan 16 years ago???

lol @ this thread,

when old ice cream tubs are used to stock up with daals

the wallpaper dont match the carpet

shed is full of junk for years

...when there is always a cupboard with glass doors, filled with plates and cups lol

looooooool sooo true!!

Paksitanis in UK are really confused ppl

When you have a Sitting room Esp. for "guests" in that room you show off all your prize possessions with the photo from back home 20 years ago u can tell this by the haricuts.

In this room you will have the finest desi rug/carpet. A glass door cabinet with all your trophies from cricket school etc.
"Nice" leather sofas complemetnted perfectly by the plastic covering!!!


You use LINO!!! everywhere possible!
YOU MUST HAVE AN EXTENSION!!! if there aint got an extension built at the back eventually its just not right!
Every has the same freshie glasses dishes cups etc. and thers always that one tea set which is new from the bak home and never seemed every to get opened!

you have an expenisve dinner set which you only use when you have guests, otherwise its packed away.

instead of putting a remote cover on your tv remote control you cover it in plastic wraped around with sello tape.

theres a wide range of shoes lined up in your doorway.

you have a stool and bucket in your bathtub.

you or your dad does all the electrical/building work in the house themselves.

... they have a huge TV satelite picking up all the Asian Channels (probably only applies in Australia).

you kidding me? herei n canada alot of people have two dishes one for the engish channels and the other for all the desi channels. that is how you can tell people got a illegal satellite!

Hey why should I pay for something when its available for free?
That would be just plain wrong man.

im so happy my mom and dad are modern, they avoid typical things to the extreme, when shop for things we agree whether ot looks typical or not. But this thread reminda me off my nans house and my older uncles.

the windows always have that funny white material covering it, dont know what it is though also the fireplace has photo's on it. also all the typical people i know dont use their garages to put thier cars in, they use them to out the washing machienes and all the tools and etc. (theres no point in protecting thier toyota's, nissans)

A nissan car on the drive way.

Very heavy dark-colored curtains from back home (to absorb and preserve the cooking smells!)

Suitcases packed full of clothes no-one has ever worn or ever will wear.

Garden sheds where everything that should be thrown away is accumulated to the point that you can barely open the door.

Gardens that are concreted over or tiled!!

Photocopied Quranic calligraphy.

Loads of laaaarge suitcases.

A television that is 'always on'.

Loads of Bollywood DVDs on display.

Wedding videos from back home.

Huge saucepans.

When the tissues are stored in one of those fancy coloured boxes with loads of gold trim.

When grandad's hooka is the first thing that you see in the hallway as you walk in.

I am guessing they have to have Brooke Bond or Gold Label box atleast for special occasions if it costs more than Lipton tea bags.

A scarf is on the electronics like VCR. It is kept in parda and unveiled when people have settled down for the show

Theres a clothes line running thru the house.

The whole family is playing 11 side cricket in a very small garden!

When teabags are boiling in a saucepan while the tea is 'cooked'.
When real Pakistani currency is given to kids to play with.
When the only reading material available is 'Jang' newspaper and some religious books.

Bordered wallpaper

When onion and flower (atta) is bought in very large quantities.

When a plant watering jug is used as a lota

When supermarket shopping bags are used a bin liners

When ARY or GEO can be heard by all the neighbours in the summer months

When you leave the house a strong and pungunt smell of fried garlic and onions falls your for the rest of the week.

I'm proud of my micra

I'm surprised no-one's mentioned plastic flowers and fireplaces

This one's my fave:

nice thread im too tired to think of any when i think of some will post them but does make u laugh

Its all Fords in my drive but my dad works for Fords of course lol!

there must be at least 4 per bedroom. the front room is also a part time bedroom.

u always if possible have a spare/guest room which no one can go in. And the downstairs loo is also excluisivly for guests.

When Nani Ammi, Ammi and your sis blush and giggle after seeing Amitabh Bachchan and Rekha on a Bollywood love song...

When the cutlery is full of spoons of different designs and styles.

When Ambala boxes are everywhere.

When you wake up with the 'Sunrise Radio' jingle.

When some relative you never even heard of comes up and nearly rips your cheek off.

When guests come you come out with 100 boxes of Bollywood 'VCDs' with one 'Kuch Kuch' and one 'Kya hai' too many on their covers.

When there are 'Allah, Muhammad' and Makkah/Medina torn up scrolls all around the place.

When broken pieces of crisps are behind the sofa.

Nothing but 'Kahani Kya hai' is on...

When eating your long lost 'uncle' compliments your mum on how nice the daal is...trying to flirt...

When you offer a plate of samosas to your aunty and she says no, and you leave the plate on the coffee table...you come back together and see only the crumbs left.

When there are tea cup stains all over the table.

When the rugs with those floral patterns are on everyroom.

When the heaters have these black/brown stains...

When the bathroom has those poncy Veetee shampoos.

When (this is a true one) the whole family uses one toothbrush.

When they consider it treason against the state when you say 'no thanks' to their tea/dinner.

When your eldest great aunty steals spinaches from the next door using the back garden trap door made by your youngest long lost second cousin.

When nothing but backbiting and Shahrukh + Aishwarya rai is emitting from the secluded 'teen' cousins.


When the females wear hijaab/scarfs and still peep through to see men...

When it is Eid, they find kisses and hugs a way of compensating for not giving you anything...(fake aswell)

your younger sister and your khala talk about weddings is 'kabhi khushi kabhi gham measures'.

When they have a never ending supply of 'janamaaz'.

When all men in your dads side (boys as well) look like this

When your uncle has to wear that disgusting shirt with the flowers....

When your dadi goes out wearing saree and nike trainers....


Your dada and your youngest uncle look like these two:

http://www.tribuneindia.com/2004/20040720/sp8.jpg


i'll think of some more

hahaha

Your lunchbox while you were a kid was 'Vitality' or 'I can't believe its not butter' tubs.
WHEN YOU WARM THE MILK AS WELL AS THE WATER WHEN MAKING TEA

When the idea of 'success' crepts in, your mum would love you more than your Oxford Phd Graduate Genius brother just because you bargained your way to half price at an Asian food stall..

When the son did something bad, the mom collapses and faints in Bollywood fashion and the Dad takes over.....

You can tell when its an Asian house when.......
Ramadan is a time when: 'Who has the most items at iftar, Uncle Bobby or dad?'

You can tell when...

Nani ammi shouts verbal abuse to your 18 year old sis for wearing a mini skirt

When their wardrobes contain Versace, Gucci, CK, DKNY or Ralph Lauren jeans and shirts they bought from Pakistan for Rs 150 each.

When a box of mangoes is the only fruit in sight.

When you can find a box of 'cake rusks' in the kitchen.

When all the calenders also advertise the local halal butcher's shops.

When the hoover stick and wooden spoons are used for sorting out kids!

When an old uncle in tweed jacket tells you in broken English 'I arrive London 1958...'

When one cousin is looking for some 'munchies' while another is smoking a joint in the back garden (full of bushes), another one 'jus chilling out in front of the tele' and the fourth one just rushed out to the mosque.

When 'laddoo' is described as the best sweet money could buy.

When you can see suger-quoted aniseeds (sweet sonf) dropped on the carpet.

When Argos catalogue is used as a 'coffee table book'.

When the uncle in tweed jacket suddenly completes his sentence "...with £5 only in my pocket."

Loved the argos one..and the uncle i arrive

While most of what has been said in the thread is typically Asian, they dont really apply to my current place. The calender thing is spot on though. The funny thing is the one thats up is a 2006 calender. I keep taking it down only to see it back up - probably my grandma whenever shes over. I've stopped bothering with it

When Dadi calls a tomato a 'vegetable' and your 8 year old wise mouth corrects her and gets one on the teeth....

When Naani calls all the kids round and tells them how Muslims ruled the whole of India and how they are superior to Hindus (seen it with my own eyes).

When you are told off for taking the micky out of your rude and argumentative Somali class fellows.

When a kid is called 'oloo ka patha' for pretending to be Power Rangers as his name is 'Mohammed Hussain, not Yellow Ranger.'

When girls are taught modesty while they watch Brookside and East Enders along with their mums.

When youngsters fail Driving Theory Test!

When a Pakistani passport is looked down upon.

When a day out constitues as a walk around the neighbourhood or out in the backyard!

When its raining heavily and your dad runs out to park the car in the rain to get it wasted!

when you take last night's leftovers as lunch to work...

when your mom insists that you put a cloth on your laptop when not using..

when you are stopped from throwing any broken stuff saying" kabhi bhi kaam a sukta hey"

when your dad 's home attire is a white bunyan and shalwar...

at this thread most of what people are saying is true but funny

when the electric heater is on full blast in the middle of summer.

when the Toyota parked outside has a religious CD hanging near the rear view mirror and has islamic stickers all over it, even though the mosque is visited only once a year at eid

when there are those huge metal suitcases shoved under the bed.

When every single inch of the house has been stuffed with furniture, tables and a whole load of other junk.

when there is a cold war the rest of the year with the neighbours, but when its ramadan, everyones exchanging food at iftar with the fake smiles.

when bread is 'fried' on a pan instead of the toaster

hilarious stuff

when two or more people in ur family drive the same car

When your dadi thinks Adnan Sami is an aloo chop.

when they think roti and curry is actually good for your health.

when the bigger the house is, the less space there seems to be.

...when some random person pitches up a tent in the middle of a road and calls it a wedding!!

....when from 8-11 at night you can watch nothing but Indian Serials on Zee tv...

too good!

When you have at least two student cousins from 'back home' staying with you for a looooooong long time.

When Dad's weekly shopping means 'half a lamb from Mr Butt's meat shop.'

When 'eating out' means 'Fillet o' Fish and fries'.

Oh man dat is so true !!

I helped contribute to that once!


Starts much earlier than that!

lol our guy has the same name!! Good stuff guys

When Rasmalai is more than a dessert

That sentence can have so many meanings....

^^^^

When you get ready for a party one hour after you are supposed to be there.

In Pakistan:

When you never even THINK about going somewhere before 11.

When 'party game' means sitting on a chair waiting for food for many hours which is held back because someone important is 'some' hours late.

Being late means being "stuck in traffic" while in fact you left home two hours after the time when you should have reached your destination.

When wasting food is as obvious as consuming it.

When your party is considered a flop if you failed to prepare less than 10 very elaborate and complicated dishes.

When the party entertainers are usually under-age and entertain you by rolling on the floor and crying for food.

When throwing tantrums is considered 'normal' behavior both for children and their grown-ups.

When they invite you to one of these parties and would not give you the option to refuse their invitation.

If you don't get involved in such parties, you are told that 'you have no social life.' (ouch, that hurts!)

So much more

You didnt answer my question from earlier

a toyota with a taxi plate on it parked outside

When Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham is playing all around the living room.

When 1001 people have come to visit one person leaving for Pakistan.

When 1001 people leave to drop off that 1 person to the Airport.

When someone is leaving for Pakistan people bring all sorts of garbage to send over to loved ones (usually clothes which originally came from Pakistan , Lynx bottles or the latest trend - blocked mobile phones)

Oh man, that's so flipping TRUE. These days the major UK export to Pakistan must be dodgy laptops and mobile phones. I have a friend who keeps a big suitcase full of all kinds of garbage ready to be dispatched to Pakistan using any of his acquaintances. This must be the most annoying thing. I like to travel with only hand luggage but he turns up with his massive red (ugh) Samsonite.

Got some more:

- washings are hung outside for drying although you have a dryer.
- a MINIMUM of four kids per family
- a cousin is always about to get married
- going on vacation means logding out at a mamoo or a chacha 's house for a month

When your house is taken over by wedding cards

When tea bags are repeatedly re used to eek out every drop of flavour

...when the kitchen is extended, or when there is a loft conversion haha

when the garage is converted into an extra room

when the kitchen has a carpet or two covering the tiles

so true!!!

When there is a trail of spat out chewed tobacco and pan masala, leading to the doorway.

Ironic u mention the box Saj, Believe it or not I stopped a Bengali guy who had the tissue box visible on his parcel shelf of his car whilst I was on night shift a few years ago, I told my colleague bet u the driver is Asian. Astounded was he when the driver was Asian, then I told my colleague it was cos I had seen the tissue box!!!!!

....you see a honda or toyota car parked outside the house. If its a big house then its a BMW.

When u see 100's of talkhome cards around the house