The Chaotic Classroom.....

Well worth a read....

The Chaotic Classroom

Written by: Hamzah Moin
Pictures compiled by: Hamzah Moin, Funk Masta and n!da

A child’s mind is a unique thing. When we were young we had quite the crazy imagination. For instance, a flying pink hippopotamus would be quite normal whereas today if you think about flying pink hippopotamuses, you’d be sent to a mental institution.

It’s interesting to observe the people around you and to guess what kind of childhood these people had. With my awesome hook-ups, I managed to get a hold of some elementary school work of some kids in Pakistan. I mean this stuff is quite weird but I’m sure the kids are normal. I think. Anyway I decide to look at each one and give an honest criticism.






Flying to Pakistan



This one was handed in by 5 year old Parveen Mulla.

She must be brave or something because I sure as hell would never get on an airplane that’s cracking a big grin. The wings seem to be sharp knives which are probably used to slice those Big Bird like things that are attacking the airplane. I’m not entirely sure why both Big Birds have frog legs but I bet Parveen likes to see a bit of a jump in Big Bird. Come to think of it, I’ve never seen Big Bird fly.

Smiling airplanes are not my cup of tea. A PIA plane doesn’t make the situation any better.






My First Cricket Game



For this particular project the class was asked to draw what they thought would be the best part of their life. 6 year old Murkhan Kamal had some sick fascination with cricket.

Apparently Murkhan dreams about having two arms sprouting out of his back holding a giant bowling pin. It looks like a ball of yarn is fast approaching his way. LOOK OUT MURKHAN.

I’m not sure what the hell is going on in the background but it seems the people who look more “normal” got better seats while the people who look a bit retarded and arguably “falling apart” are up in the bleachers. And what’s going on with his mommy being seperated from his daddy? Shouldn’t they be sitting together? I like how the crowd disperses where the ball and batter go. That’s really classy Murkhan.

AND WHAT IN THE BLUE HELL IS THAT WALKING FLOWER THING? What kind of sick fantasy does this kid have? Honestly it’s kids like this that need special attention. Walking flowers are just no.






Bilal



This assignment asked the kids to be paired up and they drew a picture of their friend. Anwar (5) happened to draw a picture of his best friend, Bilal.

Now if I was Anwar, I would never want to be friends with a freak like this. He only has one EAR! Not to mention his hands look like antlers. Antler-Hands. His shoes seem to be of an odd-shape … most likely due to the odd stance of his legs. Kids at school probably teased him for having a pencil neck amongst other things.

I’m trying to figure out why Anwar was labelling everything. It’s a good thing he put “hair” because I would have never known and thought it was an oil stain on his head. Now “shooz” weren’t needed… that was obvious but “I’s” really helped out. Thanks for trying out Anwar you moron. Learn to make friends with more attractive people next time.






Untitled



The teacher told the class to draw a picture of the mosque. Hisham (4) is an idiot and didn’t hear her instructions properly. He drew a MASK.

Now I guess mask and mosque sound similar but even this mask really sucks. I asked some kids if they would ever wear a mask like this for Halloween and they all started laughing and said “Yeah…if I wanted to dress up as a LOSER.” Ouch. I relayed this message back to Hisham and he started to cry. Ouch.

It is uncertain why he drew footprints all over the mask.

It appears he figured out that it was a “mosque” at the last minute and drew a small “mosk” in the corner. Now apparently this mosk looks like an industrial factory that emits a lot of pollution. Hisham is an idiot like that. He’ll probably grow up to be a bum or an engineer. Same difference.






Family



Young Fatima Khan submitted this picture for her Grade 1 class.

I don’t really know what on earth is happening in this picture nor do I know the reason that the Pakistan “flag” in the centre of the picture is emitting radio-active rays on the family. I find this rather disturbing. I also find it disturbing that the “dad” has turned orange while the “mom” has turned into a magenta like colour.

Apparently the mother, due to her new superpowers (caused by the radiation) cloned herself a daughter who happens to be Fatima. Apparently the blue guy is supposed to be the teacher or the viewer of the picture (it seems Fatima wishes the viewer of the picture to be a boy or something. What a scandalous girl).

Apparently the cat is suffering from mono. Poor cat. There is also “paan” on the ground but it looks more like a slice of pizza with chocolate ice cream and sprinkles on top of it.

Fatima has strange fantasties.






Vroom



The teacher says, “Okay class, I want you to draw a picture of what Pakistan would look like if it rained.”

The result: Abdul Johnny’s race car. Abdul Johnny is 5 but that doesn’t stop him from completely ignoring any sort of instruction. Now I know little kids suck at colouring but this is just clearly crap. I think he just wanted to finish something quickly so he could have first dibs on toy selection.

Abdul Johnny probably selected the Tickle Me Elmo. Heeheehee that tickles! Freak.






Shark!!



Well this is an interesting picture by Pervez. It appears to me that Pervez was enjoying a nice swim in the Indus River (by swimming I mean backfloating aimlessly with a stupid grin). Aparently the Indus River is infested with sharks.

Now I don’t know about you but this shark doesn’t look right. If Pervez’s picture is any indiciation then Pakistani sharks have a serious ugly problem. They are probably known as the ugly batch of sharks from across the world and sharks everywhere tease them. This concept seems to be prevailant in Pakistan.

It’s good to smile when a shark is biting you in half. It’s also good if blood pours out of your body from the other side of the gash. Pervez learned the hard way by backfloating in the Indus river while smirking like an idiot.






Girls of Pakistan



After seeing this picture from Seeta, I realized that Pakistani girls aren’t my cup of tea. Apparently they are all arm-less and have waists that are horrendously huge. It’s almost as if they are hiding a DVD Player or something dangerous in their skirts. This explains their no-good smirks.

I can’t imagine marrying someone like that and having them ask me “do these pants make me look fat?” I mean it would be difficult to find pants that fit a square-like waist and accomodate their noodle legs.

That orange-yellow chick on the left is massive. Her shoulders are also horribly uneven.

I think this picture is the reject line of a Pakistani Beauty Pageant. Hmmm or it could be their best stuff.

LMAO !!!!!!!!!!

At least someone finds it funny....

Smiling airplanes are not my cup of tea. A PIA plane doesn’t make the situation any better.

LOL

brilliant