TSN Exclusive - Revealed dastardly plan by ISI to thwart Sachin threat

[MenInG]

By our medical correspondent

Whilst many Indian supporters, assorted Bollywood stars and Samsung are planning their victory celebrations on sight of Sachin Tendulkar's 100th hundred, it has come to light that the dreaded ISI – Pakistan’s non intelligent agency – is planning a dastardly operation to prevent this intergalactic event.

Sources close to the ISI have told our reporter. Migbal Khan, that the plan has been hatched in ISIs Lahore operations headquarters, otherwise known as Gaddafi (now dead) stadium.

In startling revelations to Migbal Khan, the source has described in minute detail the steps that have been meticulously planned by ISIs main operative in the Lahore region, known only by his code name Misbah.

It is alleged that Misbah’s plan, which does not revolve around any traps with any given Bollywood actress, have been run by a couple of foreign trained ISI operatives also known by their code names What and More who have given it an alleged green light ( name of said light has been deliberately hidden due to legal reasons)

According to the plans, Agent Misbah will first deliberately win the toss on match day by employing the dreaded “call correctly” method. The ISI have, reportedly, provided Agent Misbah with training that have vastly improved the chances of getting a favourable result to approximately 50-50.

Once over this hurdle, it is alleged by the source, that Agent Misbah and his team of saboteurs (henceforth known as The Team) will reportedly pretend to bat in a studious and serious manner.

This will, thus, give an impression to the opposing hapless Indian team that an innings of any stature is being played. Just as the Indian Team start to lower their guard, The Team will execute its well-planned masterstroke – known in closed ISI circles as The Choke Slam. In this maneuver, The Team will score exactly 90 runs in 50 overs by employing advanced choking techniques such as playing maiden overs and refusing easy singles, coupled with shots of high quality (these are shots that go very high up and fall at the batters foot or on the unsuspecting grasp of a hapless Indian fielder)

In order not to arouse any undue suspicions from unsuspecting members of the International Criminal Courts (ICC) as well as Sunday Times journalists, Misbah will duly play most of the deliveries and see the plan to perfection.

With The Teams score thus stuck at 90, ISI experts have confirmed that they believe that the nefarious RAW agent, Sachin Tendulkar, will be prevented from scoring his 100 – thereby allowing Pakistan to retake the previously occupied Kashmir. Agent Misbah is said to be pleased with this idea and claims that preparations were in full progress when another agent, Umar Gul, made some crucial mistakes during the disaster against Bangladesh on Sunday.

[Shayan]

Brilliant!

[FAM]

Good one. Lol.

[MenInG]

Now pls all dont come running to me if we score 90.... ITS a JOKE!!! I have no prior knowledge of the result!

[violet_may]

Brilliant MIG!

Sources close to the ISI have told our reporter. Migbal Khan, that the plan has been hatched in ISIs Lahore operations headquarters, otherwise known as Gaddafi (now dead) stadium.

It is alleged that Misbah’s plan, which does not revolve around any traps with any given Bollywood actress, have been run by a couple of foreign trained ISI operatives also known by their code names What and More who have given it an alleged green light ( name of said light has been deliberately hidden due to legal reasons)

Agent Misbah and his team of saboteurs (henceforth known as The Team) will reportedly pretend to bat in a studious and serious manner.

The Team will execute its well-planned masterstroke – known in closed ISI circles as The Choke Slam. In this maneuver, The Team will score exactly 90 runs in 50 overs

[OutStumped]

Agent Misbah may be pleased with his ideas, but he better not trust the opposition bowlers - Vinay and Praveen .

[MenInG]

All credit for this must go to a Agent PakCricketFan who has suggested this idea ...

[MenInG]

Originally Posted by OutStumped Agent Misbah may be pleased with his ideas, but he better not trust the opposition bowlers - Vinay and Praveen .

Famous RAW operatives?

[OutStumped]

Originally Posted by MenInG Famous RAW operatives?

How they tricked the ISI agents in to believing all is going to be fine. Without arousing any suspicion, might I add

[Square Drive]

good one Mening!

[MenInG]

Hope Sachin is ready for the disappointment

[attock]

Awesome stuff MIG.........

[violet_may]

I genuinely fear what will happen if Agent Misbah actually goes on to do, what MIG has outlined.

Don't know what will be worse

[KingKhanWC]

90 all out..good plan agent Misbah.

[freelance_cricketer]

When you'll be on 90 from 49.5 overs, we will bowl a couple of wide ball that will go for four

Tum shyanne ho to hum dedh-shyanne hain.

[khalil1986]

Originally Posted by freelance_cricketer When you'll be on 90 from 49.5 overs, we will bowl a couple of wide ball that will go for four

We will return the favor whilst bowling as we have large hearts, check mate.

[freelance_cricketer]

^ You can't bowl a deliberate no ball now

[cricketworm]

While all focus will be on Raw agent Sachin 'Little Master' Tendulkar and ISI agent Misbah-the TUK-ul-haq, inside double agent Umar 'Chosen One' Akmal will make sure Pakistan score more than 200 runs. Other double agents Umar 'Guldozer', Saeed 'iDone' Ajmal and Shahid 'The young Pathan' Afridi will leak runs to make sure Raw agents Gautam 'The Angry Dwarf' Gambhir and Virat 'MCBC' Kohli complete their mission of India's victory.

[Fire Bird]

Devious plan there ISI. But don't you think RAW will be that easy to fool. RAW will employ its secret weapon Agent 000 Vinny Kumar who will try to gain the trust of ISI by appearing to take wickets and thereby supporting the core strategy of ISI's main agent Misbah Ul Tuq.

But 000 will do a innovative double cross where he will send deadly knee high full tosses at 100 kmph courtesy of the training he received from the now retired agent 0000 Chetan Sharma. These deliveries will look like 100 mph toe crushers hitting the base of middle stump but will "float" menacingly into the bats of unsuspecting ISI agents AKA "The team" and run to the boundary where our carefully placed agents such as Agent 125 Pathan and Agent 99 SRT himself will run after hard and handball the ball over the rope.

The resulting intense mind wars will result in ISI and RAW fight out for the end result of "The team" scoring 240 all out in 20 overs thereby setting the stage for the mastermind blaster Agent 99 to find the elusive score of 100 to gain the much wanted promotion to Agent 100.

Once that is achieved, 99/100 will appear to go for the win but employ the method "The Block" taught by Master Blocker Agent 36 Sunny Gavaskar. This will ensure that the blue team will end up with the final score of 239/0 in 50 overs. Thus the status quo in Kashmir will be maintained and the source of quarelling and political ambition of many "people" in the two countries are not hindered.

[najam2007]

Originally Posted by MenInG By our medical correspondent Whilst many Indian supporters, assorted Bollywood stars and Samsung are planning their victory celebrations on sight of Sachin Tendulkar's 100th hundred, it has come to light that the dreaded ISI – Pakistan’s non intelligent agency – is planning a dastardly operation to prevent this intergalactic event. Sources close to the ISI have told our reporter. Migbal Khan, that the plan has been hatched in ISIs Lahore operations headquarters, otherwise known as Gaddafi (now dead) stadium. In startling revelations to Migbal Khan, the source has described in minute detail the steps that have been meticulously planned by ISIs main operative in the Lahore region, known only by his code name Misbah. It is alleged that Misbah’s plan, which does not revolve around any traps with any given Bollywood actress, have been run by a couple of foreign trained ISI operatives also known by their code names What and More who have given it an alleged green light ( name of said light has been deliberately hidden due to legal reasons) According to the plans, Agent Misbah will first deliberately win the toss on match day by employing the dreaded “call correctly” method. The ISI have, reportedly, provided Agent Misbah with training that have vastly improved the chances of getting a favourable result to approximately 50-50. Once over this hurdle, it is alleged by the source, that Agent Misbah and his team of saboteurs (henceforth known as The Team) will reportedly pretend to bat in a studious and serious manner. This will, thus, give an impression to the opposing hapless Indian team that an innings of any stature is being played. Just as the Indian Team start to lower their guard, The Team will execute its well-planned masterstroke – known in closed ISI circles as The Choke Slam. In this maneuver, The Team will score exactly 90 runs in 50 overs by employing advanced choking techniques such as playing maiden overs and refusing easy singles, coupled with shots of high quality (these are shots that go very high up and fall at the batters foot or on the unsuspecting grasp of a hapless Indian fielder) In order not to arouse any undue suspicions from unsuspecting members of the International Criminal Courts (ICC) as well as Sunday Times journalists, Misbah will duly play most of the deliveries and see the plan to perfection. With The Teams score thus stuck at 90, ISI experts have confirmed that they believe that the nefarious RAW agent, Sachin Tendulkar, will be prevented from scoring his 100 – thereby allowing Pakistan to retake the previously occupied Kashmir. Agent Misbah is said to be pleased with this idea and claims that preparations were in full progress when another agent, Umar Gul, made some crucial mistakes during the disaster against Bangladesh on Sunday.

Can you please send this very important information to INDIAN MEDIA for BREAKING NEWS before the match starts. Its my humble request for sake of Sachin's 100th 100 .

[MenInG]

I am not even thinking about the repurcussions should above actually happen !

[MenInG]

Ok - Thanks to special agent Mushfiqur Rehman...

[freelance_cricketer]

ISI defeated. :Sachin

[MenInG]

Originally Posted by freelance_cricketer ISI defeated. :Sachin

We will meet again....

[sarmadsl]

Originally Posted by freelance_cricketer ISI defeated. :Sachin

lol he did it against BD

[freelance_cricketer]

So Pakistan will not score 90 now?

[pakcricketfan]

So the ACSU won't be coming after me now... phew!

Originally Posted by freelance_cricketer So Pakistan will not score 90 now?

Not getting all out for 90 now.

Of course we will score 90 - and go on to score beyond that, so Sachin can score his 101st hundred and make sure India lose.

[MenInG]

Originally Posted by freelance_cricketer So Pakistan will not score 90 now?

The ISI always has a backup plan...

[freelance_cricketer]

Agent Sachin never gets a rest

[Zulqarnain_Mohammad]

notorious ISI at it again