My Dilemma!!!

[slix10]

Originally Posted by Momo Savak, you are the Phantom. Don't give up - show her your dark secret world. Can you sing?

I watched that movie awhile back.

Great movie.

It shows how evil women can be

[lakha84]

Originally Posted by Savak I havent seen her since June and will most definately never ever see her again. That is why i made that crazy move in May because i knew it was now or never. I had been debating seeing a psychiatrist because of the fact i am still thinking about her on and off everyday. Sometimes i get severely depressed over it, sometimes i wish i could somehow make things right but its just not happening. Even spoke to some experienced pick up artists who just laid into me for my naive approach to girls and my immature belief that girls like guys who are the simple shareef type. This PUA even told me girl's always see whether a guy has any alternatives and this they guage by having a look at the quality of girls a guy has around his circle, his confidence levels and how secure he appears with himself, you cannot give the impression that she means everything to you, you cannot live without her, this going out of the way for a female is for a wife and a wife only. Not that i am evil, but there is some powerful desire inside me that just wants to make this girl regret turning me down just like that. Guys i used to be a very simple logical person before i saw this chick. Its like a spell. Its happened to me, i kept it to myself for a long while, now as embarrassing as it looks that i am pouring my heart out here, this can happen to anyone at any stage in his life, you just wont know what hit you. I asked myself why is this happening to me? Its simple, just because of one prior bad experience with a girl in my childhood, i in general stayed away from them and now at the age of 25 i am learning things that i should have learnt as a teenager. If i had the mental strength to take my chances with girls as a teenager, take those hits which may have hurt back then in the short run but would have gone a long way in making me a more mentally tough individual in the long run, maybe i would have been indifferent to these rejections.

you need to get married
it's the hormones
fear ALLAH S.W.T ( assuming you are a muslim as i am not sure if you are or not )

[Momo]

Originally Posted by slix10 I watched that movie awhile back. Great movie. It shows how evil women can be

Watched it more than ten times because of its music. Andrew Webber Lloyd is a legend!

Women are dangerous. Especially good-lookers. Na inki dosti achhi na inki dushmani achhi.

[Momo]

Originally Posted by lakha84 you need to get married it's the hormones

Very well said! And to the point as always - absolutely no beating about the bush with brother lakha.

I agree. The hormones have definitely taken over. Hormones - which are very good slaves but are extremely dangerous masters!

[FastBowler]

Originally Posted by lakha84 you need to get married it's the hormones fear ALLAH S.W.T ( assuming you are a muslim as i am not sure if you are or not )

blah blah blah blah blah

[Indiafan]

Originally Posted by slix10 This is not love mate, please don't give love a bad name. These people are sick, sick in their heads and are too ashamed to get help from a psychologist. Love is supposed to be felt mutually, one way love isn't really love, it's a disaster. And most importantly it's supposed to feel good, real good. Not severely depressed on the verge of suicide. Tell me what do you see NORMAL in this: 1)Savak re-arranging his school class schedual around a girl (that he has NEVER talked to at the time being) just so he can see her. 2)Savak staying till 9pm at school, just so he can see her and not even say anything. Again, a girl that he has had a phrase with. 3)Savak being severely depressed over a girl for so long that doesn't even know he exists. 4)Him developing an "insane emotional connection" to someone he hasn't even met. It's delusional. 5)Him getting her time table somehow, without even knowing her. I'm not sure how he did this? Point of contact: 4 words: "Do I know you?" And a facebook msg that she never replied to. Trust my words Savak, the GIRL is not the problem. If it wasn't this girl you would be depressed over something else or some other girl. You need medication and therapy. Get it bro, Get help now. This is not normal by any means and you don't have to live like this. Everyone needs a hand now and then and it seems you can't do this by yourself.

What B.s. This is exactly what a true lover goes through when he does not get the one he love. i have seen many, many people in life go through this.

[Warfare]

Originally Posted by Indiafan What B.s. This is exactly what a true lover goes through when he does not get the one he love. i have seen many, many people in life go through this.

Kinda what I was thinking.

[Savak]

Originally Posted by slix10 This is not love mate, please don't give love a bad name. These people are sick, sick in their heads and are too ashamed to get help from a psychologist. Love is supposed to be felt mutually, one way love isn't really love, it's a disaster. And most importantly it's supposed to feel good, real good. Not severely depressed on the verge of suicide. Tell me what do you see NORMAL in this: 1)Savak re-arranging his school class schedual around a girl (that he has NEVER talked to at the time being) just so he can see her. 2)Savak staying till 9pm at school, just so he can see her and not even say anything. Again, a girl that he has had a phrase with. 3)Savak being severely depressed over a girl for so long that doesn't even know he exists. 4)Him developing an "insane emotional connection" to someone he hasn't even met. It's delusional. 5)Him getting her time table somehow, without even knowing her. I'm not sure how he did this? Point of contact: 4 words: "Do I know you?" And a facebook msg that she never replied to. Trust my words Savak, the GIRL is not the problem. If it wasn't this girl you would be depressed over something else or some other girl. You need medication and therapy. Get it bro, Get help now. This is not normal by any means and you don't have to live like this. Everyone needs a hand now and then and it seems you can't do this by yourself.

Dude, the simple fact of matter is i dont blame her at all for not giving me a chance or for shunning me. I dont even have any negative feelings towards her.

I just wish i could go back in time and just do the whole thing completely differently. I have seen a lot of tight chicks in my life, some you observe and eventually get the signs, impression in spite of their sexy, cute, good looking features that they are slutty, too out going, arrogant, demanding, bitchy, nagging e.t.c.

Based on all the info, my personal observations, the way she carried herself, the type of people she hung out with, some conversations i overhead of her talking to her friends i immediately guaged this girl was innocent and i just kept on getting more and more encouraged i have to try and see whether it can work or not.

I acknowledged that my first impressions as far as she is concerned is of a creep, pervert, stalker, loser, desperate e.t.c, i should never have depended on people who never had a real stake in all this. This is the most important thing i have learnt, its all on you.

If god gives me an opportunity (as highly unlikely as it is) a few years down the line if i ever cross paths with her again, i would love to try afresh and at the bare minimum atleast befriend her.

I am already being 50 times more careful now with any decent looking chick i run into or see around my surroundings these days. Btw i have heard of so many girls go suicidal over guys who either dump them or refuse to get into relationships with them so i am pretty comfortable and happy with how i am fighting to keep myself going each day right now.

I dont care if i am embarrasing myself here, i am not just doing this for myself, we should be open about this thing, this could happen to anyone and when it does, trust me no one will give you answers, one will struggle to find answers himself alone, you need supportive, helpful people around you who can understand or atleast listen to you.

[Savak]

Guys, in hindsight maybe i was just looking deep down just to talk to her, befriend her, be in a position to at most talk to her every day. I had been very jealous of the guys she was friends with and how lucky they were that they atleast had the privilege to speak to her everyday.

[Savak]

Originally Posted by Khabri420 Savak, do what you gotta do, just don't turn into Devdas!

Hahahahah, Devdas took his frustration out on the bottle which was fatal, i am taking my frustration out in the gym which can only be beneficial for me, have already been making progress, my chest, shoulders, biceps, triceps have been showing progress over the last 3 months, still a long way to go but i have the necessary motivation to keep me going.

[Savak]

Originally Posted by Indiafan What B.s. This is exactly what a true lover goes through when he does not get the one he love. i have seen many, many people in life go through this.

This is what happens in any situation in life when your ego is hurt big time, obviously when a girl shoos you away directly or indirectly is one of top such situations.

[6xafridi]

Let your mind accept the fact that you got rejected.. it'll help. Secondly, don't regret falling in "love" with her.. It'll probably just hurt you more.

[Savak]

Originally Posted by 6xafridi Let your mind accept the fact that you got rejected.. it'll help. Secondly, don't regret falling in "love" with her.. It'll probably just hurt you more.

The only thing i regret is how i went about things, another thing i learnt is that during such a phase, there is really no such thing as the best way to approach a girl. It always takes 2 to tango, one person can make all the effort in the world, the other person has the right to respond positively or negatively.

Its just how this world works. I just wish i had gone through this more often during my teenage years, maybe by now i would have been like "oh well, yet another rejection, no big deal, will find someone else tommorow", its exactly how playboy's think and operate.

The reason why they so rarely get depressed is because they know they have so many alternatives and hence dont give a damn. I guess that's just how a guy should think in the end.

[Warfare]

Savak, you're going to Uni in a few months right? I'm sure you'll find someone, this experience will have helped you alot.

Anyways, if you meet her again, I would suggest to try talk to her, maybe in between alopogise. Just give it one last chance, you have nothing to lose.

[cryptkeeper*]

Originally Posted by Savak The only thing i regret is how i went about things, another thing i learnt is that during such a phase, there is really no such thing as the best way to approach a girl. It always takes 2 to tango, one person can make all the effort in the world, the other person has the right to respond positively or negatively. Its just how this world works. I just wish i had gone through this more often during my teenage years, maybe by now i would have been like "oh well, yet another rejection, no big deal, will find someone else tommorow", its exactly how playboy's think and operate. The reason why they so rarely get depressed is because they know they have so many alternatives and hence dont give a damn. I guess that's just how a guy should think in the end.

Savak, I read all your posts and I understand where you're coming from. One thing I can guarantee you is, you will completely move on soon and never look back at this episode ever again. It surely takes time, and don't downgrade yourself for anything as that only makes you feel worse.

Try not thinking about how you could have approached her in so and so manner or should have reacted like this or any of that. Take this as a learning experience. All of this was getting to you, you mentioned you lost weight, couldn't concentrate on school etc. why ruin yourself over someone who could care less about you?..who didn't have the slightest clue as to how you felt about her every day? You're moving on which is great, but I'd suggest you stop thinking "if I ever met her again, I'd.." No, dude, she's the past, she's gone. Try telling yourself, she wasn't worth your time. A lot of Pakistani girls may react indifferently towards you when you try talking to them and that's just very typical of Pak girls honestly. Don't let it affect you like this. I know you felt horrible throughout all those months, but imagine if it was a much worse scenario? I mean it's not like you really knew her, or she knew you, or you were first and foremost good friends with her, or some long term relationship ended. This wasn't as big of a mess, yes you did get affected but that's because you made this one crush into this huge deal. Happens though. and interacting from time to time with the opposite gender from an early age would've been very helpful but forget that..

.. then again, when something like this happens, it just happens. Even the most logical and rational person on this planet seems to be in shambles and honestly, it's nothing to laugh over for all those people who found this comedic.

Remember one thing though Savak, at the end of the day, no one but your family is reliable. Friends come and go, gfs etc dont have an unbreakable bonding with you. I know you feel like you're parents tend to ignore you at times, but don't take that to heart. They may just find you to be the sensible one and don't find the need to fret over you like they may have to when it comes to your other siblings? Further, it's never easy sharing such stories with your parents, as they can't understand all the time, moreover, AFTER it has all occurred.. but it's like that with most desi families dude. So, don't worry, if you ever have a major problem and have trouble opening up to someone, share it by bits and pieces with your mom. Don't tell her directly, but tell her you're feeling down, need help in getting back on track, it does help - trust me.

Overall, you will completely get over that chick, may take a bit more time, don't worry it's not the end of the world and never ever degrade yourself. It can happen to anyone at anytime. Take this as a lesson and just tell yourself she wasn't worth your time or energy.

Hope my post helps in some way.

[Shoaib Akhtar's Fan]

Well Savak it is good to hear you have learnt from your experience. I think it is perfectly normal to think about your ex's/crushes from time to time. Sometimes, I have thoughts about my ex gf's from high school , whom I haven't seen a in a long time and have nothing to do with now.

I do not understand why guys give girls so much importance or are dying to be in relationships. It will happen when it has to happen so there is no use beating yourself over it. Ofcourse, when you are in the company of a girl , treat her with respect and give her all the attention and it will go a long way.

[Poison]

Originally Posted by Indiafan What B.s. This is exactly what a true lover goes through when he does not get the one he love. i have seen many, many people in life go through this.

You've definitely been hanging around the wrong people then. This is borderline stalking territory, heck the territory's been breached ages ago, the girl could take Savak to court based on this evidence



The punchline however for me is the fact that Savak is TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD.

[Savak]

Originally Posted by cryptkeeper* Savak, I read all your posts and I understand where you're coming from. One thing I can guarantee you is, you will completely move on soon and never look back at this episode ever again. It surely takes time, and don't downgrade yourself for anything as that only makes you feel worse. Try not thinking about how you could have approached her in so and so manner or should have reacted like this or any of that. Take this as a learning experience. All of this was getting to you, you mentioned you lost weight, couldn't concentrate on school etc. why ruin yourself over someone who could care less about you?..who didn't have the slightest clue as to how you felt about her every day? You're moving on which is great, but I'd suggest you stop thinking "if I ever met her again, I'd.." No, dude, she's the past, she's gone. Try telling yourself, she wasn't worth your time. A lot of Pakistani girls may react indifferently towards you when you try talking to them and that's just very typical of Pak girls honestly. Don't let it affect you like this. I know you felt horrible throughout all those months, but imagine if it was a much worse scenario? I mean it's not like you really knew her, or she knew you, or you were first and foremost good friends with her, or some long term relationship ended. This wasn't as big of a mess, yes you did get affected but that's because you made this one crush into this huge deal. Happens though. and interacting from time to time with the opposite gender from an early age would've been very helpful but forget that.. .. then again, when something like this happens, it just happens. Even the most logical and rational person on this planet seems to be in shambles and honestly, it's nothing to laugh over for all those people who found this comedic. Remember one thing though Savak, at the end of the day, no one but your family is reliable. Friends come and go, gfs etc dont have an unbreakable bonding with you. I know you feel like you're parents tend to ignore you at times, but don't take that to heart. They may just find you to be the sensible one and don't find the need to fret over you like they may have to when it comes to your other siblings? Further, it's never easy sharing such stories with your parents, as they can't understand all the time, moreover, AFTER it has all occurred.. but it's like that with most desi families dude. So, don't worry, if you ever have a major problem and have trouble opening up to someone, share it by bits and pieces with your mom. Don't tell her directly, but tell her you're feeling down, need help in getting back on track, it does help - trust me. Overall, you will completely get over that chick, may take a bit more time, don't worry it's not the end of the world and never ever degrade yourself. It can happen to anyone at anytime. Take this as a lesson and just tell yourself she wasn't worth your time or energy. Hope my post helps in some way.

Thank you kind sir. I know eventually i will move on, have a lot of things to do in the next few months/years. I know in theory its not the end of the world. Just wish there was a fast forward button in life, but there isnt, you have to deal with the slow pain.

Like i said, the importance of this thread is extremely downplayed. A person can have a solution for most problems in life be it financial, educational e.t.c. but dealing with girl issues is one of the toughest. When one goes through it, trust me all your friends, peers, even family, no one will have answers for you because you learn later on even they dont know **** themselves, its equally confusing challenging for them irrespective of how much they boast they know more about this stuff than you do or how much experience they have.

If i am successful in helping someone else or at least being successfully able to guide someone who is going through what i did or what inexperienced guys do during these girl phases, i will definitely not regret this episode.

[Savak]

Originally Posted by Shoaib Akhtar's Fan Well Savak it is good to hear you have learnt from your experience. I think it is perfectly normal to think about your ex's/crushes from time to time. Sometimes, I have thoughts about my ex gf's from high school , whom I haven't seen a in a long time and have nothing to do with now. I do not understand why guys give girls so much importance or are dying to be in relationships. It will happen when it has to happen so there is no use beating yourself over it. Ofcourse, when you are in the company of a girl , treat her with respect and give her all the attention and it will go a long way.

I can admit, i was dying to be with her, not dying to be with anyone in a relationship, i know based on the experiences of my friends just how much baggage a relationship brings and how one will have to go out of his way to please the other person everyday.

Btw one thing i feel, being nice, humble, polite, respectful towards all girls is just so overrated. Girls literally walk over, use and abuse guys who go out of their way to be nice. It wont stop them making fun of you, thinking your a loser.

For e.g. in my office there are 6 Management Trainees, 4 girls (none of them good looking at all, the rukhsana, maimoona, suqaina types), 2 guys (one who came from Canada, excellent communication skills, really good with words, jokes, laughing e.t.c) and me (slightly more reserved).

A few days ago while we were free, these girls out of the blue just started talking about love, relationships e.t.c. and they just automatically assumed because i was always such a nice, honest, polite, somewhat shy guy i had never been around with girls and therefore they assumed i never had any experience with girls, they all even laughed at this. And ofcourse they were taking everything that other guy said at facevalue, even assumed he was very experienced and an expert in relationships (i have struck a very good friendship with him, he is going through his own crap with a girl he was once going out with at the moment, its wierd how he told me about it).

Bottomline girls themselves are just so unbelievable stupid and naive. They just make wholesale judgements on guys just based on their flawed perceptions. I spoke to an experienced Pickup Artist and he ripped into me a few days ago, he was like this being nice, going all out of the way, complete attention is FOR A WIFE AND A WIFE ONLY, no one else, no gf, no female friend e.t.c.

[Savak]

Originally Posted by Poison You've definitely been hanging around the wrong people then. This is borderline stalking territory, heck the territory's been breached ages ago, the girl could take Savak to court based on this evidence The punchline however for me is the fact that Savak is TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD.

Dude, i knew people would make fun of my age. But that's the reality, this is what happens when you run away from girls after just 1 horrible experience a long time ago. This horrible experience happens all the time, all the time to people but they pick themselves up and dont stop going out with others where they probably get hurt more and more till the point where they just get immune to it after getting experience of how the whole thing works.

I chose flight, didnt even try to do anything with any girl because i was scared of getting hurt and scarred again. But in the end it didnt help, if one is going to get hurt, he is going to get hurt, you just have to deal with it and try again. Thats just how it works, thats just how one will get better eventually. I always wish i could take back those 11 years and have prepared myself during those 11 years so that i was much more prepared for this situation.

Anyways thats why i am here, to make sure every tom, dick, harry on this site can learn from this experience and not make the same mistakes i did. And Yes, i am prepared to go to court especially if she takes me.

[RX]

Originally Posted by Shoaib Akhtar's Fan Ofcourse, when you are in the company of a girl , treat her with respect and give her all the attention and it will go a long way.

If you want the girl to wear the trousers in the relationship then you would give her all the the attention. Otherwise, that's one of the worst things you can do!

[Savak]

Originally Posted by RX If you want the girl to wear the trousers in the relationship then you would give her all the the attention. Otherwise, that's one of the worst things you can do!

Nearly everyone i have spoken too (i.e. guys with loads of experience with girls) have told me something like this, never ever give any girl the impression that you like her much more than she having the same feelings for you and that is like the worst thing one can do.

[RX]

Originally Posted by Savak Nearly everyone i have spoken too (i.e. guys with loads of experience with girls) have told me something like this, never ever give any girl the impression that you like her much more than she having the same feelings for you and that is like the worst thing one can do.

Unfortunately its very true. You should always leave the girl wanting more from you, thats the way it works funnily enough.

[Radiance Of Australis]

Been reading this thread in bits and pieces in a while...
Quite surprised.

Originally Posted by Indiafan What B.s. This is exactly what a true lover goes through when he does not get the one he love. i have seen many, many people in Bollywood movies go through this.

Fixed

[kingusama92]

Originally Posted by Mutazalzaluzzaman Tarar go upto her and say: yo rassmalai, how about you and I get together and make some rasgullay? guaranteed success. in 3 years time, you and the Mrs will have 4 little avengers running around the place.

I have read this entire thread.

This post is the biggest win - EVER. What a post.

[Shoaib Akhtar's Fan]

Originally Posted by Savak Nearly everyone i have spoken too (i.e. guys with loads of experience with girls) have told me something like this, never ever give any girl the impression that you like her much more than she having the same feelings for you and that is like the worst thing one can do.

Well, never generalize when it comes to girls. Every girl has a different mindset than the other and what works on one chick may not work on another one. I have lived in Pakistan for 18 years and know how these things work back there and I have been living in USA for the last couple of years. There is quite a contrast between trying to pick up drunk girls at your regular downtown bar in NY and trying to initiate a conversation with your crush on your college/school campus in Karachi.

[slix10]

Originally Posted by Savak Btw one thing i feel, being nice, humble, polite, respectful towards all girls is just so overrated. Girls literally walk over, use and abuse guys who go out of their way to be nice. It wont stop them making fun of you, thinking your a loser. I spoke to an experienced Pickup Artist and he ripped into me a few days ago, he was like this being nice, going all out of the way, complete attention is FOR A WIFE AND A WIFE ONLY, no one else, no gf, no female friend e.t.c.

He's absolutely right. If you want a hook up or sex, be an ass. Pick up artists do NOT specialize in wifey or longterm relationships. Their own technique is mastered around getting into the girl's pants and moving onto the next one asap. I'm sure this is not what you're looking for reading your posts.

But if you want a wife, be funny, be nice, be caring, and lastly be assertive and not a puss.

Don't be overly nice to anyone to who doesn't deserve it. Don't give me any bull like "oh but she's so pretty or innocent looking". Girls can sniff out insecurity and being too nice portrays that. And yes I'm nice to my girl, and she hates jackazzes. So, if the girl you like, likes jackazzes, then I'm sorry bro, move on.

Originally Posted by Indiafan What B.s. This is exactly what a true lover goes through when he does not get the one he love. i have seen many, many people in life go through this.

Because you live in India.




Epic video btw ^.

Originally Posted by Poison The punchline however for me is the fact that Savak is TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD.

His age doesn't bother me at all.

As long as he learns from this experience and moves on. I've been where Savak and all these people have been at. Well err differently, I did not stalk. Say no to stalking. How did I cope? I found another love. Gym and studying. And then later a girl. If it's not working for months on and is affecting their life, they should get psychological help I'm serious.

[Savak]

Chalo, all is not depressing and tough. I cleared the comprehensive exam from my university, which means i am officially an MBA now (i was nervous i messed it up because of the crap i was dealing with) but thank goodness i cleared it. Now i can apply for my transcripts, MBA degree and speed up my application process to Canadian Universities.

[Zaz]

Give it time savak ull move on, best thing to do is get on with ur life, keep busy

Ive been thru something similar

Watch in a yr ull be look back and laugh at how u were

[Savak]

Originally Posted by Zaz Give it time savak ull move on, best thing to do is get on with ur life, keep busy Ive been thru something similar Watch in a yr ull be look back and laugh at how u were

I doubt whether il laugh or anyone really laughs thinking about this stuff but yeah il probably be used to it, be busy with other things, learn to deal with it and ofcourse eventually stop looking back like Imran khan.

[1137moiz]

Originally Posted by Osman oh man this thread!

ditto that!

[1137moiz]

Originally Posted by lakha84 you need to get married it's the hormones fear ALLAH S.W.T ( assuming you are a muslim as i am not sure if you are or not )

+1/ seriously mate take his advice. stop tormenting yourself and get hitched asap, from your posts I'm assuming you're in deep agony

[1137moiz]

Originally Posted by Amir Avenger if it helps, think it like this. Your Faisal Iqbal coming out to bat. First ball, oh look its another ball wide of off stump....a flash won't hurt? But it does, you are caught behind! But since you are bhanja, you will be opening the next game! Now to put it in context for you, if she does not like you...its not the end of the world. There is plenty of fish in the sea just like there are many more dismissals for Faisal Iqbal to come (and look at him right now, he is still not out of contention for the Pakistan team!). (btw I have been through what you have, and trust me, its not love its lust. I speak from experience, once I got to know the girl.....she actually wasn't everything I thought she was. I am friends with her today but trust me, its not someone i see myself with! But you gotta take each experience iwth a pinch of salt....if anything that experienced helped me become more vocal in my community. I became the student leader I am today from the quiet kid who sat in the back corner of his class and did all his work.)

[1137moiz]

Originally Posted by Savak Been 2 months now, feeling 20-30% better now than i did 2 months ago, i initially was very withdrawn from everyone friends, family, didnt feel like getting out of my room, house, hanging out anywhere but eventually i am much better on this front now, i have so much to be greatful for in life. I was diagnosed with severe dyslexia, my grade 3 teacher literally in an emotional outburst told my parents that your son is mentally retarded, this school is not the place for him. During O levels, my expected grades were not higher than D's and i still ended up with B's. Have completed my Bachelors and Masters from the second best business school in Pakistan and today have a job at the biggest private bank in Pakistan Habib Bank Limited. I see so many bright people around me, for whom getting top grades, clearing major exams is like drinking glasses of water every day and yet their arrogance, that drive in them to beat competition by all means, how they look down at others. I only know how tough it has been for me to get where i am, i guess thats why i have been so grounded. Anyways, I still do miss her, think about her every day, but ofcourse i through willpower was going to deal with the reality irrespective of whether good things were happening to me on the side or not. I have broken off all links with E and F. I havent confronted them but they have been noticing the cut, ditches and the fact i have been keeping a distance from them. Feels really good. I am sick and tired of being over nice to people, of being a pushover. Previously i used to have the attitude do unconditional favors, good to others every time and dont expect or want anything in return. **** that now, if someone ****s with ur life, doesnt value ur ****, ur time especially when u have gone out of ur way for him, then **** him. Its time to man up, time to cut fags out of ur life. I have been talking to all sorts of girls, being natural while at the same time learning to keep any expectation under control, this is perhaps the toughest thing to get better at but better to continue working on it than just run away giving up working at it. My equation with B has changed big time too. I still am greatful to him for the support he gave me during the episode, yes i disagreed with the stuff he told me in the end, but i should never have unfairly unloaded my **** on him the way i did. I have more or less cut down my communication with him and the last i spoke to him was when i congradulated him on getting a kickass job in an MNC. I will probably hit him up in the future, but not really prepared right now. The thing which has really helped me is going to the gym 6 days a week excercising 2 hours a day. My gym instructor told me back then, he didnt think i should come because based on my history, i always joined the gym for a few days and then abandoned the weight training programs, he said i lacked motivation. But then i told him my story and recent experience, he has become a very good friend now, not just in the gym but outside as well. I credit him big time for helping me in this phase, as i credit others in my life (including some people on PP). "Pain is the best teacher, not just here but outside these walls as well", i will remember these words. Some excercises have been really tough, especially the pushups, pull ups, the heavy weights literally kill you, normally its so easy to just give up or go easy on the weights and excercises, but this time things are different, everytime i am struggling, i just think about her, the humiliation, the pain and automatically i get energized to complete the reps. I like looking at my body now in the mirror, although there is a long way to go. I started gym on June 18, my weight was 59kg, today it is 68kg. Triceps and Biceps are developing, Stomach muscles are developing too, T-shirts look good on me now. I havent missed a single day, a single session excluding Sunday ofcourse and am feeling fitter. All the weight i lost because of the worst experience of my life is back, infact i am in surplus. Excercise is the best medicine to take ur mind of stuff. I love this quote (i think Churchill said it) "Its not victory or defeat in the end mate, its always the courage to continue that will take u places in the end"

I have tears in my eyes. sorry Savak I honestly sympathize but that is just hilarious

[FastBowler]

Originally Posted by slix10

[Savak]

Originally Posted by 1137moiz +1/ seriously mate take his advice. stop tormenting yourself and get hitched asap, from your posts I'm assuming you're in deep agony

Hell no, no marriage for the next 5-7 years atleast for me. Want to get my qualifications and have a settled career, income, a place of my own and a complete surety that i can support another person apart from myself.

[Savak]

Must admit. The one thing that is pissing me off and boiling my blood is the way my friends or so called friends (atleast some of them) behave about the whole thing. I have even stopped discussing the whole episode with them whenever i meet but deep down they know its always on my mind and hence feel free to bring the topic up and then start joking about it, saying offensive stuff (atleast to me) the moment i start opening about it.

I worked very hard to forget about B's insensitive outbursts towards the end. These guys are the same people who were struggling to give me any constructive advice, any workable solution to the problem, these same people had no answer back then before i made that bold move going up to her whenever i asked them what they felt was the best way to go about things.

Now these same people are like you were very wrong and unfair to expect your friends to help out, this was your **** in the end, it is all your fault, you should have thought deeply about your line of action before going up to her. All these guys were good for were thinking themselves into a box and nothing else. These guys have been single for most of their lives, its not like they themselves are roaming around with girlfriends, just because they talk to average looking easily approachable girls 24/7 they think they know better than me and will not go through the same phase as i did when they see that one chick.

Seriously if there is one thing else i can learn from this experience, you have to learn to read the people around you better, you need to really understand and differentiate who is full of ****, who pretends to be someone whom he in reality is not and the simple fact is this friend of mine just a pretender who hangs around for just a good time or someone who will really be with you when you are in bad place.

[SinisterX1]

salam broz

havent been on for a while, wel i have but just for the cricket gossip havent had time for anything else started a new job.

Anyways alhamdulilah i graduated, an most importantly am over her, dont even think about her and can't stop laughing of how stupid i was when mates mention her.

Savak my brother i feel for you big time. Numba1 you havent had a relationship with another girl or been close to another girl therfore you became attached to some1 you fancied. thats was your biggest fault

let me give you some advice bro from wot i learnt,

1, no girl is so speacial dey all hav they faults n so do guys. Why go crazy 4 some1 who dnt giv a dam abt u. I gurantee u bro all da times u thought abt her, i bet u she prb thought abt u once or twice n maybe prob bad abt u, like wot a loser etc..

2, what i did to get ova my gal ws 2 tink yo look u always on abt her tinkin abt her she dnt giv a dam abt u , wen did she eva mke an effort. So i said uno wot leave her, ignore er les se if she says sumting 2 me. She nvr said owt showed she dint care. So one day i decide i had enough, firstly i thought il tel er how she made me feel n wot i went through but then i thought she wnt cre less n why mke my slf luk a lowlife, so i deleted her friendship on facebook took everyting dat linked us away, any mtes she knw i avoided dem 4 a while, cncentrated on getin a job n wrk n uno wot started enjoyin life again

3, wen u feel for a girl u bcum blind ders a sayin dat some1 said 2 majnu dat laila is black n he replied the text in da quran is black. Same case u dnt se der faults n tink dey perfect, wel dey not. ltr somehow i fund our wot a ***** she really is. she a type a girl who likes attention, n likes 2 b popular n onli mde convos wen she thought i gone off her 2 get me hooked again. not onli dat her personality sucks, she dat type gal u wud sleep wid n leave er nex day jus 2 teach er a lesson. but am not not sore loser who is angry wid her 4 not tkin me. Allah na shukar, i feel god saved me from her. We all think in these situations why does noting go right 4 me, why me, why does god give idiots wot they wnt but we dnt realise somtimes god is doin us a big favour. brother der a 1000s of beta gals out der 4 u n wen u get 1 u will like woooh y was i crazy 4 er, imagine u got dat gal u liked n den realised her personality n charcter was totally opposite 2 u and u jus dint go,

4. gym is gud, but if u do it for corrct reason, not 2 get away 4rm da world n tke ur anger out, it wnt solve no problems jus mke u avoid people

5. u cant blame ur mates 4 nt helpin u bro. 1, dey dnt always hav all da facts, its mostly hear say, 2 man dey have der own lives 2, dey cnt run afta 4 u al time de had 2 study 2, dey got der own problems. Anser me tis ? wud u go waste all ur time n efforts 2 help some1 get sumting wen u know dey cnt get it, yes u gona try ur best but u got ur own stuff n ur best wil nvr b good enough 4 sum1 else dey wl always expect more , sometimes ur mtes dnt say wot dey feel n be harsh. wich is "mate she aint into 2 get ova it, u not gona get her."

6. I aint gona tell u to do what some guys here have suggested which is to go to a parlour LOL, numba 1, i dnt need 2 tel u da relgious aguement am sure u know it, not only dat trust me bro by readin ur post u dat type of person who gona cum home 4rm it n feel more guilty. an it wnt solve no problems maybe for da 10mins u last LOL if its ur first, but da issue wil still remain der

7. dnt try n impress no gal be urself n go out an jus be friends wid gals 4 friendship not for relationship, make it your mission to get about 5 girls jus for friendship get dem 2 b ur best friends go for the girls u r not attracted 2 uno ones who seem ugly 2 u LOL, u wnt try n impress dem u wil be u, tis wil teach u sumthing how girls wrk, n u wil b confident around gals n u wil realise gals r not untouchable, like u thought abt her, dey all hav something wich makes dem weak, u wil realise each girl has their own taste in guys

maybe i got over it coz i been wid other girls etc but same thing applies i was crazy 4 her

Guys am really sorry about me typing hope you can read it and understand, its been a long day dint want 2 type but thought il provide some advice for me bro savak

ps i am now talkin 2 a girl, i like n she likes me, i am not saying she is da best in da world n has no faults n iz da one for me but she is amazing, her looks are one thing but her character n persoanllity Mashallah is amazing, she is one of those girls who lives in UK but hasnt 4gt er religion, culture and family life. and you know what she is good for me, she keeps me on the stright and narrow and thats wot u need in a partner some1 who loves u and wants da best for u for the hereafter.

God gives to those who are patient.

[Warfare]

Sinister, good to hear you got over her as well. And you got some very good advice there. It looks like alot of good comes out of these "relationships".

Also, good luck with the new relationship.

[Savak]

Originally Posted by SinisterX1 salam broz havent been on for a while, wel i have but just for the cricket gossip havent had time for anything else started a new job. Anyways alhamdulilah i graduated, an most importantly am over her, dont even think about her and can't stop laughing of how stupid i was when mates mention her. Savak my brother i feel for you big time. Numba1 you havent had a relationship with another girl or been close to another girl therfore you became attached to some1 you fancied. thats was your biggest fault let me give you some advice bro from wot i learnt, 1, no girl is so speacial dey all hav they faults n so do guys. Why go crazy 4 some1 who dnt giv a dam abt u. I gurantee u bro all da times u thought abt her, i bet u she prb thought abt u once or twice n maybe prob bad abt u, like wot a loser etc.. 2, what i did to get ova my gal ws 2 tink yo look u always on abt her tinkin abt her she dnt giv a dam abt u , wen did she eva mke an effort. So i said uno wot leave her, ignore er les se if she says sumting 2 me. She nvr said owt showed she dint care. So one day i decide i had enough, firstly i thought il tel er how she made me feel n wot i went through but then i thought she wnt cre less n why mke my slf luk a lowlife, so i deleted her friendship on facebook took everyting dat linked us away, any mtes she knw i avoided dem 4 a while, cncentrated on getin a job n wrk n uno wot started enjoyin life again 3, wen u feel for a girl u bcum blind ders a sayin dat some1 said 2 majnu dat laila is black n he replied the text in da quran is black. Same case u dnt se der faults n tink dey perfect, wel dey not. ltr somehow i fund our wot a ***** she really is. she a type a girl who likes attention, n likes 2 b popular n onli mde convos wen she thought i gone off her 2 get me hooked again. not onli dat her personality sucks, she dat type gal u wud sleep wid n leave er nex day jus 2 teach er a lesson. but am not not sore loser who is angry wid her 4 not tkin me. Allah na shukar, i feel god saved me from her. We all think in these situations why does noting go right 4 me, why me, why does god give idiots wot they wnt but we dnt realise somtimes god is doin us a big favour. brother der a 1000s of beta gals out der 4 u n wen u get 1 u will like woooh y was i crazy 4 er, imagine u got dat gal u liked n den realised her personality n charcter was totally opposite 2 u and u jus dint go, 4. gym is gud, but if u do it for corrct reason, not 2 get away 4rm da world n tke ur anger out, it wnt solve no problems jus mke u avoid people 5. u cant blame ur mates 4 nt helpin u bro. 1, dey dnt always hav all da facts, its mostly hear say, 2 man dey have der own lives 2, dey cnt run afta 4 u al time de had 2 study 2, dey got der own problems. Anser me tis ? wud u go waste all ur time n efforts 2 help some1 get sumting wen u know dey cnt get it, yes u gona try ur best but u got ur own stuff n ur best wil nvr b good enough 4 sum1 else dey wl always expect more , sometimes ur mtes dnt say wot dey feel n be harsh. wich is "mate she aint into 2 get ova it, u not gona get her." 6. I aint gona tell u to do what some guys here have suggested which is to go to a parlour LOL, numba 1, i dnt need 2 tel u da relgious aguement am sure u know it, not only dat trust me bro by readin ur post u dat type of person who gona cum home 4rm it n feel more guilty. an it wnt solve no problems maybe for da 10mins u last LOL if its ur first, but da issue wil still remain der 7. dnt try n impress no gal be urself n go out an jus be friends wid gals 4 friendship not for relationship, make it your mission to get about 5 girls jus for friendship get dem 2 b ur best friends go for the girls u r not attracted 2 uno ones who seem ugly 2 u LOL, u wnt try n impress dem u wil be u, tis wil teach u sumthing how girls wrk, n u wil b confident around gals n u wil realise gals r not untouchable, like u thought abt her, dey all hav something wich makes dem weak, u wil realise each girl has their own taste in guys maybe i got over it coz i been wid other girls etc but same thing applies i was crazy 4 her Guys am really sorry about me typing hope you can read it and understand, its been a long day dint want 2 type but thought il provide some advice for me bro savak ps i am now talkin 2 a girl, i like n she likes me, i am not saying she is da best in da world n has no faults n iz da one for me but she is amazing, her looks are one thing but her character n persoanllity Mashallah is amazing, she is one of those girls who lives in UK but hasnt 4gt er religion, culture and family life. and you know what she is good for me, she keeps me on the stright and narrow and thats wot u need in a partner some1 who loves u and wants da best for u for the hereafter. God gives to those who are patient.

Sinister man, good to hear from you and even more pleasing to here your doing well and have no regrets, dissapointments, depression relating to girls especially that one you were after.

I think my point about my anger and dissapointments and in some cases feeling of betryal from some friends is a bit misunderstood. I did not consult just 7-8 specific people, i consulted over loads of people, from my High School friends, child hood friends, friends of friends over this issue.

I am a very simple and straight forward person. I need to definately work on my commmunication skills, but if i dont treat one person in a specific way then i dont expect that person to treat me the same way in return. I had built a close friendship with a group of 7 people in my college over the last 6 years. I used to feel we were really good friends, we would do anything for each other. I was very carefree, if someone, anyone for that matter asked me for any kind of help whether it was printing a 300 page book from my color printer, using my dad's contacts to get an expedited hospital appointment for them, taking my car out driving people around, taking them out for dinners, paying most of the bills e.t.c.

Bottomline i have done a lot for most people in my batch, especially among my closest circle of friends. I have even helped some of these college friends of mine during their own tough depressing times, i once remember when one of my friends fought with me (no fault on my own, i was even angry at first and wanted to end things with him) but later i found out that he was going through a tough emotional time because his family finances were in ruin, his tea business was on the verge of collapse and his fiance could not wait for him to get settled. Even though he was the one who owed me an apology but was to embarrassed to do it, i put aside everything, i made things easier for him by apologizing to him and just spending maximum time with him as possible during his tough time period when the other friends were just to busy for him.

And this so called friend of mine E, i remember back then when he had that crush on F, was to scared to do approach her himself, was thinking negatively that she will reject me, wont acknowledge me e.t.c. I was the one who backed him all the way when others were seing the funny side of it, refusing to back him and i was the one who calmed his nerves that day just before he left to speak to her the first time.

For E to totally be non caring, uninvolved, not giving a damn, not taking the initiative to inquire from F whether she was doing anything to befriend that girl or not on his own without me having to remind him. I did not expect this from him, his attitude towards me in this whole episode is what has destroyed and insulted me the most, even more than the rejection i got.

If E and F did not want to help me, were not interested to help me, were unable to help, they should have been honest about it from the very beggining in Feb when i asked them for help. I never demanded immpossible favors from anyone but i just appreciate honesty at the end of the day.

People should have the guts to admit that if they dont know anything about girls, how to approach them, what to say to them, what things they like and not like, they should have the balls, decency to admit they dont as oppossed to behaving arrogantly, pretending to be someone they are not, pretending to know things they are not.

Everyone else i consulted, even if they could not suggest anything constructive atleast they were honest enough to admit to me that they couldnt do anything or didnt know what to do.

Anyways bottomline, people need to watch out for FAGS i.e. people who old other guys back because of their own girl issues. Its about time everyone learns to do stuff themselves and not be scared of making mistakes.

[deviously~fading~away]

Originally Posted by Mutazalzaluzzaman Tarar Avenger, my friend, I haven't read your post (it's too long). but I can still totally relate to everything you said. there have been many aunties over the years who have made me feel the exact same way this girl makes you feel. hopefully, both of us will find love shortly - you in the arms of your classmate and me in the arms of your teacher.

This thread is still a classic!

[deviously~fading~away]

Originally Posted by Avenger I want to thank everyone for reading that long experience of mine. I can assure i am no phony and everything i have said is a 100% true. I am from Pakistan but obviously i wont reveal my name e.t.c. Keep the advice comming, all of you are beeing extremely helpful. For the problem i am facing, i am sure we can all share our experiences with each other. I mean for e.g. at the end of the only a war veteran knows what a soldier goes through in war or when he comes back.

Ultimate corny-ness!

[deviously~fading~away]

Originally Posted by Mutazalzaluzzaman Tarar go upto her and say: yo rassmalai, how about you and I get together and make some rasgullay? guaranteed success. in 3 years time, you and the Mrs will have 4 little avengers running around the place. however, you might want to practice the line before you try it on the eventual target. so, go to your local Cantt area and say it to all college-going girls there. and like I said, guaranteed success - you just can't go wrong with this plan.

Read this before but it is a beauty!

[Savak]

A request to kind ppl, plz dont use this thread as an excuse to take cheapshots in cricketing debates, its just not fair.

[Savak]

I finally had time to read Sinister's post thoroughly, must admit i had problems reading it quickly due to the typos issue but i took some time out today and summarized his advice for me which i appreciated.

Sinister Savak my brother i feel for you big time. 1) you havent had a relationship with another girl or been close to another girl therfore you became attached to some1 you fancied. thats was your biggest fault Here is what i have learnt 1) No girl is special, they all have their faults and so do guys. Why become crazy over someone who doesnt give a damn about you? I guarantee you bro, all the times you thought about her, she probably thought about you once or twice and maybe thought bad about you like what a loser e.t.c 2) What i did to get over my girl was to think "Your always thinking about her but she never gave a damn about me, when did she even make an effort? So i said you know what? Leave her, Ignore her and lets say if she says something to me? She never did and that showed me she obviously didnt care so one day i just decided enough was enough. I thought if she wouldnt care less then why make myself feel and look like such a lowlife. Hence i delected her from my list on facebook, everything that linked us away. I avoided her, concentrated on get a job and started to enjoy living life again. 3) When you feel for a girl, you become blind. There is a saying that someone said to Majnu "Laila is black" and she replied "Even the text in the quran is black". Sometimes you just dont see their faults, you think they are perfect, well they are not. Later on i found out what a @@@@ she really is, she was the type who likes attention. She is the type who likes attention, someone who likes to be popular and she only started making conversations with me when i had gone off her just to get me hooked again. Not only this but her personality sucks. She is that type of girl you would sleep with and leave her the next day just to teach her a lesson. But i am not a sore loser who is angry at her for not talking to me. Thanks to Allah, i feel god saved me from her. We all think in these situations "Why does nothing go right for me?", "Why me?", "Why does god give idiots what they want?" but what we dont realize is that god is actually doing us a big favor. Brother there are thousands of better girls out there for you and when you finally get her, you will be like "*** man, why the hell was i even crazy about her in the first place". Just imagine if you managed to get the girl that you liked but then it turned out that her personality and character were just totally opposite to you and that it just wouldnt work out? 4) Going to the gym is good but only if you are doing it for the right reasons and not to get away from the world in an effort to just take your anger out. If thats the case then it just wont solve your problems in the end, just make you avoid people. 5) You cannot blame your friends for not helping you bro. a) They dont always have all the facts b) They cant run after for you all the time, they have to study, they have their own problems. Just answer this for me? Would you go waste your time and effort in order to help somone get something knowing full well they cant get it? Yes you u will try your best but at the end of the day you have your own stuff and in the end your best will just never be good enough for someone else, they will always expect something more. Sometimes your mates dont say what they feel and be harsh i.e. "Mate she just isnt into you, get over her, your never going to get her". 6) I am not going to tell you what to do which some guys over here have suggest i.e. going to a parlor e.t.c 1) I dont feel the next to discuss the religious aspect of this because i am pretty sure your aware of it and trust me mate, reading your posts i am pretty sure your going to come home feeling all guilty and **** if you do indulge in it. Its not going to solve your problems, maybe for 10 minutes if its your first but the issue will always remain there. 7) Dont try to impress any girl, just be yourself, go out and just be friends with girls, no need to aim for a relationship. Make it a mission to get about 5 girls as friends, become best friends with them, go for girls who you are not attracted to i.e. the ones you find ugly because you wont try and impress them, you'l just be yourself with them and this will teach you something about how girls work and you will be more confident around girls and you will realize that girls are not untouchable. Every girl has something which makes her weak and then you will realize every girl has their own taste in guys.

[Disco_Lemonade]

6) i am not going to tell you what to do which some guys over here have suggest i.e. Going to a parlor e.t.c 1) i dont feel the next to discuss the religious aspect of this because i am pretty sure your aware of it and trust me mate, reading your posts i am pretty sure your going to come home feeling all guilty and **** if you do indulge in it. Its not going to solve your problems, maybe for 10 minutes if its your first but the issue will always remain there.

w.t.h????

[FastBowler]

i was about to update this

[FastBowler]

Originally Posted by Savak A request to kind ppl, plz dont use this thread as an excuse to take cheapshots in cricketing debates, its just not fair.

dont worry i wont. :aamir

[Savak]

The last few weeks have just been awesome. I have made such awesome progress in the gym, its just help rebuild my self belief that nothing is impossible. In 3 months i have gone from 59 kg to 70 kg. Every time i meet up with my college colleagues, friends they are always going on and on about my physique and how completely different, better i am looking.

Lol, some of them who always bought me down "dude, your just wasting your time, your being such a ****ing chootya, making a body makes absolutely no difference to a girl e.t.c, blah blah", even they feel insecure and threatened, just cannot stop asking questions as to how i have made so much progress, how do i force myself to consistently do these punishing excercises 6 times a week for 2-3 hours everyday.

In my office, every body in my batch calls me "body guard" because of my strong broad shoulders and chest. I went to college 2 weeks ago to collect my academic documents (she wasnt there at college at this time) but some of the junior's did greet me, including some i never even met before, some of the girls were absolutely shocked to see how different i looked as compared to 3-4 months ago when i looked like a survivor from a concentration camp.

So yeah, i am slowly getting better. I have to focus on other important things right now i.e. my studies and getting admission into a good Canadian university and then later do my CA. I have been doing **** loads of sightseeing poondi with colleagues, friends and no doubt this world is really huge, so many different kinds of people, so shortage of girls on the planet.

I recently got in touch with a couple of females from my High School, burgur type who i had funny feelings for temporarily and it feels really good just to talk to them whenever i can, on and off about most things under the sun.

Sinister and many people have mistakenly assumed that i have absolutely no interaction with females at all ever. Thats not entirely true, i have interacted with loads of girls in highschool and in college ugly looking, average looking, decent looking. In Highschool most of the girls i was with were liberal, burgur type. In my college where i have been for the last 6 years, most of the girls are just to conservative minded, very very few girls are burgur in my college. Taking advice from a conservative girl on how to best approach a cute looking burgur girl is like asking Danish Kaneria how to bowl like Shane Warne. One of the things that messed me up was taking advice from these conservative chicks. So no the solution is not to blindly talk to everygirl out there. You identify types of girls you like. If you like burger, liberal thinking, free flowing girls then you practice talking to those girls, not wasting time on conservative girls.

And unfortunately most of the guys in my college came from the Urdu medium background, lower middle class. And a vast majority of these people who never ever have the guts to approach a hot, cute looking burgur girl for a random conversation, you know why? Out of fear of being insulted, dissed, riddiculed, looked down upon. So what do they do? Out of the frustration that they do not have the guts to break such a girl's bitchshield, or just do not have the guts to take risks they automatically take shortcuts to cut themselves some slack by making assumptions about the girl "She looks like a slut, she is too social, looks really arrogant, slutty e.t.c" even if they havent spoken to that girl. These guys will not only sell themselves short but will also indirectly, directly influence others, intentionally or unintentionally bring others down as well. (Fags)

This is unfortunately the mentality of most guys in my college. Even i was guilty of it, i was mostly carefree in my college years, never gave a damn about any girl and when the time came where i had to be on top of my game, i was found badly wanting and it was just totally impossible to catch up.

I am not saying i am better than these people. No i am not, i still have a lot to learn, a lot of things to work and improve on but i am going to be honest about things from now on. I was a fag, but i do not want to be a fag anymore. I will not sell myself short ever ever again. I will never ever depend on another human being ever again for anything in this life. I will never ever fear failure or fear making my own mistakes ever again. I am never ever going to be blindly unconditionally nice to people, i am not going to take **** from people no more and i have more or less started asserting myself more and more now.

I have cut fags out of my life completely. The last 2 weeks have been so awesome getting to meet my old high school burgur friends, one of them even got married a few months ago, even told him about my scene, the entire story and the difference between the chilled out, daring, bold burgur mentality and the faggy mentality is just so apparent.

All my faggy ex friends have just made fun of my own ****, not even bothered to own up to the fact that they themselves were as clueless as i was before i took that ballsy step on that fatefull day. All of them have in hindsight spoken through their behinds and made gayass comments like you should have done this, you should have done that, you should have messaged her on fb, you should have written her an email instead of going up to her, you should have thought ten times before you went upto her. And i avoid talking about it whenever i meet up with these guys, they always bring it by asking such insensitive questions which i dont feel like talking about "Do you still think about her?", "Do you miss her?", "Are you still sad?" and then everyone feels like saying whatever they wish.

Anyways i just pity these fags. I am responsible for my life and they for themselves.

In contrast my burgur friends have been so ultra supportive of me, they have actually made me see the funny side of it, made me laugh with them, talked about old high school crushes, strategies on how to deal with burgur chicks, how they think but the best part is the simple fact that these are the type of people who have mostly made sense to me, been so cool and non judgemental about the whole thing, so ultra cool about the whole thing. In the words of one "Dude, just take it easy, i am not telling u to forget this chick, i know your not going too nor am i going to tell you to immediately do something about it, its your thing at the end of the day, its your life, only you know whats best for you, its your thing man but the only thing i would just tell you to do is relax thats all". Best 2 weeks of 2010 for sure.

As far as this debate of how one should try to talk to every chick, well i could lose count of how many chicks i talk to everyday both in and outside work, mostly conservative, some moderate to liberal. Fact of the matter is mate, if you dont feel curious, funny about a girl then its just so boring and routine. You will always feel desperate not to mess up, create a bad first impression on a girl that you fancy. This is a fact of life. Talking to every girl out there will not help you. The only solution is to admit you have a weakness, to work at it, be more daring and risk taking, learning from your mistakes, learning to pick up the pieces from every setback till you get better and better at it. This is not just for interacting with girls who look tough to get, this is applicable to any serious problem in life.

My parents have been looking for a girl for me but i am honest enough to realize that i am just not ready at all for any commitment to anyone at this stage, especially not when i still thinking about this girl. Its not fair on the other family and especially on any other girl. I know full well i wont be committed to it and i cannot hold it on my conscious that i messed up an innocent girl's life. So far i have just told my parents that i want to strictly just focus on my studies, rebuilding my life for the next 2-3 years and i am in no rush to get hitched to someone just for the sake of getting hitched.

[FastBowler]

Originally Posted by Savak The last few weeks have just been awesome. I have made such awesome progress in the gym, its just help rebuild my self belief that nothing is impossible. In 3 months i have gone from 59 kg to 70 kg. Every time i meet up with my college colleagues, friends they are always going on and on about my physique and how completely different, better i am looking. Lol, some of them who always bought me down "dude, your just wasting your time, your being such a ****ing chootya, making a body makes absolutely no difference to a girl e.t.c, blah blah", even they feel insecure and threatened, just cannot stop asking questions as to how i have made so much progress, how do i force myself to consistently do these punishing excercises 6 times a week for 2-3 hours everyday. In my office, every body in my batch calls me "body guard" because of my strong broad shoulders and chest. I went to college 2 weeks ago to collect my academic documents (she wasnt there at college at this time) but some of the junior's did greet me, including some i never even met before, some of the girls were absolutely shocked to see how different i looked as compared to 3-4 months ago when i looked like a survivor from a concentration camp.

[Paradox]

oh god

[FastBowler]

Where can we nominate for POTW? I'd like to nominate Savak for benefits to yiour body by being screwed over by a girl.

[1137moiz]

Savak I suppose it's a good thing you discovered that. One thing; non-burghur people are not necessarily, as you put it, cigarette butts. I have fancied plenty of girls over the years but Alhamdulillah I generally manage follow the "avert your gaze" routine--horribly hard but it doesn't necessarily mean cowardice.

Good to see you've picked yourself up and have gained from this experience. Wish you all the best InshaAllah

But some of the quotes from your latest post were hilarious. "I was a cigarette butt--now I am not a cigarette butt." Hilarious

[Savak]

Originally Posted by 1137moiz Savak I suppose it's a good thing you discovered that. One thing; non-burghur people are not necessarily, as you put it, cigarette butts. I have fancied plenty of girls over the years but Alhamdulillah I generally manage follow the "avert your gaze" routine--horribly hard but it doesn't necessarily mean cowardice. Good to see you've picked yourself up and have gained from this experience. Wish you all the best InshaAllah But some of the quotes from your latest post were hilarious. "I was a cigarette butt--now I am not a cigarette butt." Hilarious

I am speaking from experience, its hard to explain such stuff to others, sometimes you just have to experience it yourself to understand it. I am just being honest thats all.

[Savak]

And i used to think my infatuation with was bad enough. I am curious what he would have to say about the whole thing or even the great Khan for that matter.

[Shoaib Akhtar's Fan]

Alright, since this is the official relationship thread on PakPassion, thought I would share my situation too.

I remember posting here about my last relationship, which happened to be more than three years ago while I was still in high school back in Pakistan. I have moved to USA for college since and while I have been with quite a few girls, I haven't really gotten into any sort of a relationship. When I moved to USA , there was this one girl, I was deeply infatuated towards and while she initially led me on, in the end it resulted in a massive heartbreak of sorts for me ( sorry for being so dramatical ). At that point, I decided to keep things simple and just have fun and I have had my share of fun in the last two years.
At the back of my mind, I did have this thing that this “fun phase” wouldn’t last forever and I would be ready to committ once I met the right girl. However, I just did not want to jump into a relationship just for the sake of being with someone. Instead, I wanted to get involved only I thought someone I needed to be with came along.
So three weeks ago, I was at a friend’s birthday party with another friend of mine. He pointed towards a girl and remarked how incredibly hot he thought she was. She was, indeed. However, I did not just randomly want to go up to her and start talking. So I just decided to chill and have a good time at the party and talk to some people , I already knew. I was talking to a friend at some point and he also happened to be friends with this girl. She came up to say hi to him and I ended up introducing myself to her. She seemed nice but a bit reserved. It was getting late anyways and I had a class the following morning, so I decided to leave and said goodbye to her. I did not even ask for her number, as at that point I thought “ well, she’s shy and therefore not my type” and left it at that.

However, I was on campus the following day getting some food and I saw her sitting by herself at a table. Since I wasn’t with anyone either, I thought I should just go and sit besides her. I went upto her, said hi, asked her if she remembered me and then proceeded to sit besides her. We spoke for about twenty mintues or so and she seemed to be more friendly and open in her conversation , this time round. By now, I know it was too early but I was falling for her already thanks to her beauty and simplicity.

After this, I met her the following week at some club, where she was with her friends. This was when I suggested to her that we should exchange numbers and she was fine with it. However, my phone’s battery died and I gave her my number. She told me she would text me the following day, so we could hang out. I waited eagerly for her to text me but she didn’t. Anyways, later that night I happened to run into her again and I aksed her why she never texted me. She said she hadn’t actually saved my number the previous night. So this time round, I made sure I got her number. So for the next few days, we talked to each other back and forth and it was supposed to be her birthday this weekend. I thought this was a good chance to let her know how I felt about her. So I went ahead and bought her a nice somewhat expensive present. She was celebrating her birthday at some club. She was really happy to see me and really liked what I bought for her. I asked her if she would want to go out with me sometime and she said it would be nice. However, just then one of her friends came by. Now her friend is a girl I had hooked up with previously a few months ago before heading off to Pakistan for the summers. She was in a serious relationship when it happened, but I wasn’t quite aware of it. Anyways, I casually mentioned to a friend about our hook up and the word got around and her bf dumped her as a result. She held me responsible for the mess and hates me with a passion. I had absolutely no idea this girl was friends with the girl I was interested in. This girl took the other girl to one corner and spoke to her at length while I just stood there. They came back to me and her attitude seemed pretty off. Obviously she had told her everything. Still, she tried to be nice. I did not take all this that seriously honestly as I thought that when I went out with her, I show her a good enough time and even explain myslef to her, if need be. Since I had been working that day till the evening, I was quite tired already and I had gotten myself a date, I just wished her again, kissed her goodnight and left.

Anyways, the following day, I texted her to check up on our plans and she did not respond. Then today , I tried to call her and only got her answering machine. It is quite clear that she is ignoring me and it is killing me because she is the only girl, I have developed any sort of serious feelings for in the last two years. I have been with hotter girls than her and I haven’t even had that many deep conversations to match up our compatibility levels, but I really do feel for her. It is actually killing me that I probably can’t be her anymore.

[Liberty]

Stop posting.

kthanksbye.

[Amir]

I have cut fags out of my life completely.

Wait, I missed this part of the story. When did you stop chasing girls and started to chase men?

(in North America, fags has quite a different connotation )

[Impala_KaifTamasha]

Are we allowed to post Homosexual Infactuations Here?

[Savak]

Originally Posted by Shoaib Akhtar's Fan Alright, since this is the official relationship thread on PakPassion, thought I would share my situation too. I remember posting here about my last relationship, which happened to be more than three years ago while I was still in high school back in Pakistan. I have moved to USA for college since and while I have been with quite a few girls, I haven't really gotten into any sort of a relationship. When I moved to USA , there was this one girl, I was deeply infatuated towards and while she initially led me on, in the end it resulted in a massive heartbreak of sorts for me ( sorry for being so dramatical ). At that point, I decided to keep things simple and just have fun and I have had my share of fun in the last two years. At the back of my mind, I did have this thing that this “fun phase” wouldn’t last forever and I would be ready to committ once I met the right girl. However, I just did not want to jump into a relationship just for the sake of being with someone. Instead, I wanted to get involved only I thought someone I needed to be with came along. So three weeks ago, I was at a friend’s birthday party with another friend of mine. He pointed towards a girl and remarked how incredibly hot he thought she was. She was, indeed. However, I did not just randomly want to go up to her and start talking. So I just decided to chill and have a good time at the party and talk to some people , I already knew. I was talking to a friend at some point and he also happened to be friends with this girl. She came up to say hi to him and I ended up introducing myself to her. She seemed nice but a bit reserved. It was getting late anyways and I had a class the following morning, so I decided to leave and said goodbye to her. I did not even ask for her number, as at that point I thought “ well, she’s shy and therefore not my type” and left it at that. However, I was on campus the following day getting some food and I saw her sitting by herself at a table. Since I wasn’t with anyone either, I thought I should just go and sit besides her. I went upto her, said hi, asked her if she remembered me and then proceeded to sit besides her. We spoke for about twenty mintues or so and she seemed to be more friendly and open in her conversation , this time round. By now, I know it was too early but I was falling for her already thanks to her beauty and simplicity. After this, I met her the following week at some club, where she was with her friends. This was when I suggested to her that we should exchange numbers and she was fine with it. However, my phone’s battery died and I gave her my number. She told me she would text me the following day, so we could hang out. I waited eagerly for her to text me but she didn’t. Anyways, later that night I happened to run into her again and I aksed her why she never texted me. She said she hadn’t actually saved my number the previous night. So this time round, I made sure I got her number. So for the next few days, we talked to each other back and forth and it was supposed to be her birthday this weekend. I thought this was a good chance to let her know how I felt about her. So I went ahead and bought her a nice somewhat expensive present. She was celebrating her birthday at some club. She was really happy to see me and really liked what I bought for her. I asked her if she would want to go out with me sometime and she said it would be nice. However, just then one of her friends came by. Now her friend is a girl I had hooked up with previously a few months ago before heading off to Pakistan for the summers. She was in a serious relationship when it happened, but I wasn’t quite aware of it. Anyways, I casually mentioned to a friend about our hook up and the word got around and her bf dumped her as a result. She held me responsible for the mess and hates me with a passion. I had absolutely no idea this girl was friends with the girl I was interested in. This girl took the other girl to one corner and spoke to her at length while I just stood there. They came back to me and her attitude seemed pretty off. Obviously she had told her everything. Still, she tried to be nice. I did not take all this that seriously honestly as I thought that when I went out with her, I show her a good enough time and even explain myslef to her, if need be. Since I had been working that day till the evening, I was quite tired already and I had gotten myself a date, I just wished her again, kissed her goodnight and left. Anyways, the following day, I texted her to check up on our plans and she did not respond. Then today , I tried to call her and only got her answering machine. It is quite clear that she is ignoring me and it is killing me because she is the only girl, I have developed any sort of serious feelings for in the last two years. I have been with hotter girls than her and I haven’t even had that many deep conversations to match up our compatibility levels, but I really do feel for her. It is actually killing me that I probably can’t be her anymore.

Welcome to my world, well sort off. As you can obviously see, it is really hard to let go and it doesnt matter whether you have been with other girls before, can have most girls you want or not, bottomline when you like someone, you like her.

Its really gutsy for you to share all this stuff over here. Dude, dont let anything kill you, if you like her, cannot stop thinking about her then go for it. How you go about going for it is upto you, only you know the situation best and you have the experience to pull it off eventually.

**** all those people who tell you to move on, go find someone else, your never going to get her, she doesnt like you. Would these people do as they are "bakwaasing to you" if they were in your shoes? People just dont want the other to feel happy.

Speaking on a slightly evil note, you need to drive a wedge b/w this girl and her friend. If you can make this girl irresistible to you, its not going to matter **** whatever her friend tells her. I have seen situations like this before with my friends and they always just focus on the girl. Fingers crossed though, it doesnt always work buts that the best a guy can do in this situation.

Good luck.

[Savak]

Me and my pathan friends all came up with the meaning of fags in this context i.e. guys who hold other guys back, bring them down with their own sissy thoughts, cannot stand another guy being happy, being more successful with girls than themselves, would rather label a girl as a copout as oppossed to admitting the truth that they dont have the guts to approach her for a conversation and get to know her properly etc.

[Impala_KaifTamasha]

Are you lot homophobic because im not sure wether i should share my
Dilemma

[Shoaib Akhtar's Fan]

Originally Posted by Savak Welcome to my world, well sort off. As you can obviously see, it is really hard to let go and it doesnt matter whether you have been with other girls before, can have most girls you want or not, bottomline when you like someone, you like her. Its really gutsy for you to share all this stuff over here. Dude, dont let anything kill you, if you like her, cannot stop thinking about her then go for it. How you go about going for it is upto you, only you know the situation best and you have the experience to pull it off eventually. **** all those people who tell you to move on, go find someone else, your never going to get her, she doesnt like you. Would these people do as they are "bakwaasing to you" if they were in your shoes? People just dont want the other to feel happy. Speaking on a slightly evil note, you need to drive a wedge b/w this girl and her friend. If you can make this girl irresistible to you, its not going to matter **** whatever her friend tells her. I have seen situations like this before with my friends and they always just focus on the girl. Fingers crossed though, it doesnt always work buts that the best a guy can do in this situation. Good luck.

Well thanks for your support.

I almost had the girl in my grasp, without even trying too much. I have never really had a hard time attracting girls and even in this situation my gameplan played out well enough for the most part.

Anyway talking about this situation, I would atleast want one chance to explain myself to her but she hasn't responded the last couple of times, I have tried to contact her. Normally, when I get a girl's number and she doesn't respond within an hour or so, I just delete it from my phone. However, this is a different scenario altogether. I know where this girl works at, but I just don't want to walk up to her randomly and create an embarrasing situation for both of us.

Also, I have always believed that if a girl is really into you, she will come around no matter what. So maybe she wasn't all that into me. Maybe, she just wanted to date me casually and once she heard whatever her friend told her, it just put her off and she decided not to waste her time on me.

Anyways, I know in my heart that I had sincere feelings for her and maybe it just wasn't meant to be. I will wait for someone else to come along, no matter how long it takes and meanwhile I will continue having my fun, well once I am over this one.

[FastBowler]

Originally Posted by Savak Me and my pathan friends all came up with the meaning of fags in this context i.e. guys who hold other guys back, bring them down with their own sissy thoughts, cannot stand another guy being happy, being more successful with girls than themselves, would rather label a girl as a copout as oppossed to admitting the truth that they dont have the guts to approach her for a conversation and get to know her properly etc.

it would be your pathan friends who'd come up with a meaning for fags

[1137moiz]

Originally Posted by Savak Me and my pathan friends all came up with the meaning of fags in this context i.e. guys who hold other guys back, bring them down with their own sissy thoughts, cannot stand another guy being happy, being more successful with girls than themselves, would rather label a girl as a copout as oppossed to admitting the truth that they dont have the guts to approach her for a conversation and get to know her properly etc.

well see I see where you're coming from...but it's not always a question of "guts". E.g. you guys are talking about being innocent and not having talked to girls and getting hurt when you did...for instance I can comfortably say that coming from a somewhat more traditional viewpoint I have never talked to a girl outside my family for more than 5-7 minutes at a time, yet I could probably have handled this a bit more discreetly than some posters did.

You have to treat them like normal decent humans. Some people go extreme and treat a girl like a precious metal, others are the opposite and treat her like a piece of meat. Chat a bit, get to know her in public, DON'T go making plans for long romantic walks, and if you are seriously interested then go to her family.

[Impala_KaifTamasha]

Well, one day i was walking through my college when this guy waved his mane of hair and suddenly i was transfixed.

Those golden locks of hair were so beautiful. He wore skinniy jeans and a tight v-neck t-shirt which exposed his beautifull manly chest.

I was so intoxicated by this guy i dont no why'?

I never used to like men but suddenly i did...

I found myself crying everyday, not being able to explain my feelings, i felt so ashamed.

I eventually accepted my feelings and plucked up the courage to talk to this guy.

So i came to him from behind and said "How you do?" Next thing i know my nose feels and i realised i've been punched in the face.

:akmal

[Warfare]

Originally Posted by Impala_KaifTamasha Well, one day i was walking through my college when this guy waved his mane of hair and suddenly i was transfixed. Those golden locks of hair were so beautiful. He wore skinniy jeans and a tight v-neck t-shirt which exposed his beautifull manly chest. I was so intoxicated by this guy i dont no why'? I never used to like men but suddenly i did... I found myself crying everyday, not being able to explain my feelings, i felt so ashamed. I eventually accepted my feelings and plucked up the courage to talk to this guy. So i came to him from behind and said "How you do?" Next thing i know my nose feels and i realised i've been punched in the face. :akmal

You approached things very badly. I say still go for it.

[Impala_KaifTamasha]

Originally Posted by Warfare You approached things very badly. I say still go for it.

What you say should do?

[Warfare]

Originally Posted by Impala_KaifTamasha What you say should do?

Approach him in a friendly way. Tell him that he has a nice jacket. Then ask him if he wants to play football in a nearby park, complement his skills (even if he doesn't have any) and then tell him how sexy his legs are.

If you're lucky, he'll give you his number.

[FastBowler]

Impala dont ruin this thread with a joke.

[kingusama92]

Originally Posted by Warfare Approach him in a friendly way. Tell him that he has a nice jacket. Then ask him if he wants to play football in a nearby park, complement his skills (even if he doesn't have any) and then tell him how sexy his legs are. If you're lucky, he'll give you his number.

Or he'll use those legs to kick his butt around the park.

[FastBowler]

Originally Posted by Savak Its really gutsy for you to share all this stuff over here.

Yes. Please never stop posting these

[Wristy_Shuffler]

[Poison]

This thread is F.R.E.S.H.

[Impala_KaifTamasha]

Originally Posted by Warfare Approach him in a friendly way. Tell him that he has a nice jacket. Then ask him if he wants to play football in a nearby park, complement his skills (even if he doesn't have any) and then tell him how sexy his legs are. If you're lucky, he'll give you his number.

Thanks i think i'll do that. Btw in the college swimming pool yesterday i was swimming and then our calfs brushed each other.

[Impala_KaifTamasha]

Originally Posted by FastBowler Impala dont ruin this thread with a joke.

Its Not A Joke To Be Gay

[Impala_KaifTamasha]

We were sitting together in maths class today and he let me use his rubber. apparently he likes carribean food, im not sure wether he's gay or not though.

Me and my friends decided to have a roundabout meeting to find out wether hes gay, but they were so unhelpfull and constantly took the mick.

Son guys i need your help please!!!!!!!

Espicially you Savak as you've been through this before.

[Amir]

Originally Posted by Impala_KaifTamasha We were sitting together in maths class today and he let me use his rubber.

That doesn't sound too healthy...

(BTW, people think your story is a joke because it does not seem very realistic from your first post. It does seem like your taking the mickey here, IE saying you had a roundtable meeting - which I think only Savak has used in this thread)

[6xafridi]

Originally Posted by Impala_KaifTamasha Its Not A Joke To Be Gay

It's the biggest joke ever.

[kingusama92]

Originally Posted by Impala_KaifTamasha We were sitting together in maths class today and he let me use his rubber. apparently he likes carribean food, im not sure wether he's gay or not though. Me and my friends decided to have a roundabout meeting to find out wether hes gay, but they were so unhelpfull and constantly took the mick. Son guys i need your help please!!!!!!! Espicially you Savak as you've been through this before.

Simple solution, but you have to be willing to take some abuse.

Just wink at the guy.

If he punches you in the face - he's NOT homosexually inclined.

If he winks back - he's more than homosexually inclined.

---------------------------

P.S - talking about imaginary friends taking the mick - when you are taking the mick on PP is quite funny but sad.